Love Me Until My Heart Stops

28: Distracted

November 1st.

It shouldn’t have mattered to him, with Esmé with Gerard, the date’s meaning had been lost, but he couldn’t help but take a moment, his dark eyes fixed on the calendar which hung in his kitchen. It was just another day, Chelsea had played Liverpool the day before and had secured another 3 points, allowing them to close the ever-steady gap on Manchester City, but Cesc couldn’t get the thought out of his mind. It should have been 3 years, 3 years of smiles and kisses, but thanks to him, and mostly him alone, it’d only been 2 and a bit. He knew that he couldn’t change it, from the way that his friends in Barcelona spoke, Gerard and Esmé were going from strength to strength in their new relationship and he had little right to ruin it for them, but part of him wanted to. He didn’t want to hurt them, even Gerard who appeared to have jumped at the chance to take Esmé away from Cesc, but he did want to change things.

He missed her, even if he had no right to, and he wanted to make things right. He knew that he didn’t stand a chance, Lionel in particular had stressed the notion that Esmé wasn’t just going to forgive him and forget what had happened between them, but Cesc couldn’t shake his want to. He missed the little things about her, the pattern of freckles on her shoulders, the way she always smelt like vanilla and flowers, and he was having a hard time accepting that he was probably never going to get a chance to experience them again. He was still having a hard time accepting that Esmé, his Esmé, was sleeping with Gerard.

“What are you doing up, Cesc?” Emily’s voice was soft as it drifted through the kitchen, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks. He knew that it was a mistake, getting together with the girl he’d cheated on Esmé with was bound to make the situation worse, but he was sick of being alone. He didn’t love her, Emily was a fling, something to tide him over, but he needed it. He needed something, or someone, who could take his mind off of the girl he actually wanted.

Blinking, he ran a hand over his face before he turned to face her, smiling gently. “I just woke up. You know how I get after a game” he noted.

Emily nodded her head. “Have you been up for long?” she mused as she padded towards the coffee machine, switching it on.

Cesc shook his head. “No, only an hour or so” he returned, his brown eyes peeking at the calendar slightly “What are you doing up?” he quipped.

Emily smiled at him. “My boyfriend-pillow got out of bed a while ago and I got a little cold. Do you think you can find it in yourself to come back?” she quipped, biting the side of her lip flirtatiously.

Cesc smiled back at her. “I think I can find it in myself” he replied “Why don’t you make the coffee and go ahead? I have something that I want to do quickly” he commented, moving to place a kiss on her cheek. Emily nodded her head dutifully and turned to the coffee pot, allowing Cesc the chance to the slip into the other room, locating his phone which sat on the coffee table. He knew that it was stupid, with Gerard for company, Esmé probably didn’t even know what day it was, but he couldn’t help himself. He’d remembered, he couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t, and he wanted her to know that he’d remembered. Swallowing, he unlocked his phone and scrolled down to her name, typing two words.

‘Happy anniversary’.

“You know, you have a game in a few hours” Esmé giggled as she tried to wiggle out of Gerard’s arms, trying to avoid his fingers which tickled at her sides. It was still early, Esmé had been safely sleeping in her hotel room when Gerard showed up, but she was a little pleased that he had, even if she knew Luis Enrique wouldn’t be thrilled. It was a tough date, the 1st of November was the date on which she and Cesc had started to see one another 3 years previous, and she was pleased that Gerard was there to distract her. The last thing she wanted was to think about the other man.

“I know” Gerard replied “But you had that look on your face, the one you only get when you’re upset, and I wanted to get rid of it” he reasoned softly. He knew why she had the look, for the 2 previous years, he had been the one that Esmé had turned to in order to find the perfect gift for Cesc, and he wanted to take her mind off of it. It was going to be tough, for the next year, there were going to be little milestones that she and Cesc would have reached which were going to sting, and Gerard merely wanted to make sure that she didn’t get too lost in them. He wasn’t a moron, Esmé was always going to have some sort of feeling towards his former best friend, but he wanted to be the one who helped her to see that there something better for her, someone who wanted her more.

Esmé smiled at him gently. “You don’t have to do that” she murmured “Especially since it is likely to have your coach kick your ass” she added.

“He’s never really liked me anyways” Gerard quipped, shrugging slightly.

“That’s not true” Esmé replied.

Gerard shrugged. “Either way, I wanted to come and check on you. I know what today is to you and I wanted to let you know that I am around if you need me” he explained softly.

Esmé shook her head. “That’s not necessary” she mused.

“Yes, it is” Gerard retorted “I can see it on your face that you’re thinking about him and it is my job as your boyfriend to come here and distract you” he grinned.

Esmé smiled, a little touched that he knew he so well. “Well, thank you for coming. You’re a very pleasant distraction” she grinned.

Gerard let out a laugh before he leant over the side of the bed, collecting his tablet from the bag that he had bought with him. “I bought movies and I have 4 hours before I have to get down to the team briefing before we leave for the stadium. What do you say to sitting here with me all day?” he grinned.

Esmé laughed gently. “Your roommate won’t miss you?” she posed, snuggling into his side.

“Leo will probably not even notice I am not there” Gerard replied.

Esmé nodded. “Then, if you really have nothing better to do” she smiled.

“I could think of many things I would rather do, but as you said, I have a game later” he replied, his voice just reaching a whisper.

Esmé’s cheeks warmed slightly before she took the tablet out of his hand, scrolling through the selection of films. Gerard watched her, amazed by every slight and simple movement, before he placed a kiss onto her lips, drawing all over her attention to him and away from the sound of the phone that buzzed somewhere in the distance.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 and petitmonstre for the comments :)