Love Me Until My Heart Stops

29: Nothing To Prove

Neatly tying her dark hair back, Esmé padded towards the door of her hotel room, her bag in her hand. She was early, the team weren’t due to leave for Getafe’s home stadium for another half an hour, but it was a quirk of Esmé’s. She was always punctual, it was a skill that Delia had been quick to pass onto her when she was younger, but her habit of being early had developed by accident when she had first started to work for Barcelona. She had misread a kick off time once and the team had ended up winning the game, something which meant she now showed up early for most if not all of the games she attended. She knew that it was silly, her timekeeping wasn’t going to be the factor that decided whether Barcelona won their match or not, but it had become a habit of hers and she wasn’t about to change it.

Climbing into the elevator, she pulled her phone out of her bag, her brown eyes studying the screen for the first time in hours. She had ignored it, with Gerard around, the last thing she had wanted to do was check her messages, but as she stared at the screen, she was glad that she had. The last thing Gerard needed before a game was a glance at the message which sat at the top of the received list.

“Happy anniversary” she muttered, her brown eyes glaring a little at the screen. It was only a short message, two words, but Esmé couldn’t miss the sentiment behind it, a sentiment that Cesc seemed to insist on repeating. They were done, Esmé didn’t quite know how to be clearer than she had already had been with him, but he seemed reluctant to accept it, something which irked her. She had thought that he had moved on, it had been a couple of weeks since Lionel had shown her the image of him and Emily, but it appeared that it was too good to be true. New girlfriend or not, his motives appeared to be the same. Sighing, she spared another glance down at phone before the elevator opened, allowing her to step out into the lobby.

Scanning the area, she noticed that it was devoid of the team before she quietly padded outside, finding a small spot away from the entrance where she sat down. She doubted that it would make a difference, speaking to Cesc face to face seemed to have had little effect, but she wanted to tell him. She didn’t want him, after what he had done, she doubted that there was anything left for them, and she wanted to say it. She didn’t want him causing problems for her and Gerard. Quietly, she peeked down at her phone before she took a little breath, dialing the number she had avoided for months. Impatiently, she waited for him to answer before his voice snipped into her ears. “Esmé” he whispered “Corazon, you were the last person I expected” he mumbled, his voice clearly laced with surprise and awe.

Esmé snorted. “You send that message to me and expect me to just leave it be?” she muttered.

Cesc sighed. “It was a moment of weakness” he replied, his voice almost defeated “I should have resisted the temptation” he added.

“Weakness?” Esmé spat “Cesc, I really don’t know what more I have to do to show you that I am done with this. It’s been months, and yet still, you talk as though there is something here to fight for” she rambled.

“I shouldn’t have done it, but today is special to me, Esmé” he reasoned gently “3 years ago, I did the best thing I ever did and it hurts that I can’t recognize that with you. If it weren’t for me…”

“But you did do it, Cesc” Esmé interrupted, stopping his words on his tongue “You did make that mistake and I don’t know what I need to do to show you that I am not interested in piecing this back together. We had two years that were amazing, two years that I am not going to forget, but it’s done and you need to get it through that head of yours. We’re finished” she stressed, her fingers pushing the hair out of her face.

Cesc made a small noise on the end of the line before he spoke again. “Come to London” he noted.

“Are you insane?” Esmé shot back “I am not coming to London to say the same thing again to you” she muttered.

“I want you to look at me and say it” Cesc reasoned “I want to be sober, coherent, and I want you to say it like you mean it, because no matter how many times you do say it, I can’t help but think you’re not as sure as you make out. You can sleep with Gerard, convince yourself you love him, but we both know that you can’t have just bounced back like that. I want you to look at me, Esmeralda, I want you to be staring into my eyes in person and I want you to tell me that you don’t want me” he explained, his voice firm, yet at the same time, almost pleading. It was stupid, Esmé could say it time and time again and he still wouldn’t buy it, but he wanted her to do it. He wanted one last go at showing her that they were better suited than she and Gerard would ever be.

“Cesc, I am not going to come to London” Esmé muttered “I am not going to fuck up something I have forged here to tell you something I have already made more than clear to you” she explained.

“You’re scared” he goaded. He knew just how to get to her.

“Scared of what?” Esmé scoffed.

“You’re scared of tripping over me again” Cesc reasoned “You’re scared that face to face, without Gerard to keep you in line, you might just realize that you’re not as over me as you like to think” he added.

Esmé shook her head. “I am over you” she stated.

“Prove it” he returned “Come here and tell me, Esmé, tell me that you don’t love me and I will drop it” he explained.

Esmé shook her head. “I have nothing to prove to you” she insisted.

Cesc laughed. “That’s what Gerard told you right? He must have told you how bad a guy I am, and how bad for you I am. You know me, Esmé” he noted softly “And I know you. You’re not over me” he quipped, the grin almost audible.

Esmé mulled over his words for a second. “I am done with you” she muttered “And I am done with your little games. If you need me to say it to your face, fine, I will, but I don’t know what you’re expecting to be different” she mumbled.

Cesc made a small noise before he let out a small sigh. “I’m just hoping that maybe it will be different” he murmured before he hung up the phone, leaving Esmé staring at hers which sat in her hands. He’d played her, she knew it, but there was no getting out of it. She wanted it over with, she wanted him to be done with her, and she doubted there was another way. He wanted it said to his face and she was going to say it.


Esmé lifted her head at the sound of Gerard’s voice, her dark eyes tearing up a little as she looked up at him.

“Querida, what on earth is the matter?” Gerard murmured as he crouched down beside her.

Esmé sniffled and shuffled a little closer to him, cuddling him without a word.

Gerard frowned before he peeked over at her phone, noting the name that was on the screen. Sighing, he wrapped his arms around her and placed a kiss on her head, trying to keep himself calm. “Come on” he whispered, helping her to her feet “Let’s get you inside. We will talk later” he murmured.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 for the comment :)