Love Me Until My Heart Stops

“You’d tell me if anything happened in London, wouldn’t you?” Gerard mused as he rested back against his pillow, his hand gently tracing circles into Esmé’s bare stomach. Things had happened swiftly, after she had appeared at his home and declared that she wanted to move in with him, he hadn’t hesitated in taking her inside and up to his bed, but now that things had calmed down slightly, he wanted to talk. He knew she wouldn’t lie to him, Esmé was the worst liar he knew, but he wanted to know. He wanted to have a clean slate before they progressed with their relationship.

“You’re going to ask me that now?” Esmé mumbled, pulling the blankets around her slightly.

“I want us to start a life together, Esmé” Gerard reasoned gently “And I want to start that as soon as you put your clothes back on and go home to get the first box of things you want to move in here, so let’s lay it out” he mused.

“You really want to start a life with me?” Esmé posed, moving to rest her chin on his shoulder so that she could look up at him.

“You know I do” Gerard replied, kissing her nose sweetly.

Esmé smiled. “You want honesty?” she posed.

“No, Esmé, what I really want is for you to lie to me. I’d really appreciate that” he mused sarcastically.

Esmé shook her head gently. “Alright” she murmured “He did kiss me” she noted.

Gerard nodded his head thoughtfully. “Did you reciprocate it?” he posed.

“No” she refuted softly “He was starting to see that I wasn’t going to just give in to him and he kissed me in a lame attempt to change my mind. I promise you, I pushed him back” she explained gently.

Gerard nodded his head gently. “I believe you, querida, I just had to check for my piece of mind. You’re a useless liar and that bodes well for me for the future” he enthused, pressing a light kiss to the top of her head “If you’d started biting your lip or shifting around in that way you did, I’d have freaked” he joked gently. It did bother him, the idea that Cesc had kissed her like he kissed her, but he knew there was nothing he could do to change it and he felt slightly reassured by her insistence that she hadn’t kissed him back. He believed her when she said it.

“I did miss you whilst I was there” Esmé mused thoughtfully as a small silence fell over them. It was silly, it had only been a couple of days, but she had missed him. The past few days had been tense and she had been looking forwards to returning to her sweet and cheerful boyfriend, not the tired and frustrated one she had left a few days prior to that afternoon.

“I drove myself crazy here” Gerard returned “When you come back to work tomorrow, you should ask Leo how big a pain in the backside I have been” he added.

“You? I didn’t know you could be a pain in the backside” Esmé giggled, earning a light pinch which made her squeak.

“On a serious note, Esmé” Gerard mumbled as he wrapped his arms around her, moving to settle her over his hips “I really thought that I had lost you when I didn’t hear from you or see you and that it not a feeling I want to go through again. I am so ridiculously into you that I can’t even seem to fathom a world without you in it” he explained, the pads of his thumbs rubbing into her hips.

Esmé blushed. “You don’t think that that is a little dramatic?” she mumbled, feeling a little timid. It was strange, she doubted that anyone had ever spoken to her with such affection and depth of feeling, and it made her feel a little shy. He clearly had big expectations of her and she didn’t want to screw up again and let him down.

Gerard stretched his hand up and placed it against her cheek, gently brushing the bone with his thumb. “I thought it was too, until the past few days. I feel silly saying it, but the thought that you could leave me for him physically hurt and reinforced to me the fact that I want to be with you for a while to come yet” he explained.

Esmé smiled softly. “For what it is worth, I want to be with you too” she mused.

“Then let’s do it” Gerard enthused with a grin “We’ll get dressed, go back to yours and collect the first things you want to move into here” he added.

“Does it need to be right now?” Esmé returned “We could quite easily stay here and get reacquainted” she offered with a small smile as she ducked down, pressing a kiss against his lips.

Gerard smiled and leant into it, letting himself melt into the moment.

~#~
“I am starting to think you wear all of my clothes better than I do” Gerard mused as he stepped into the kitchen, his blue eyes peeking dotingly at Esmé who had gotten out of bed a little while previous. It was relaxed, for the first time in a long while, things seemed at ease and comfortable, and Gerard was sure it was a feeling he could find himself getting used to. They were natural, there was no worry or concern in them anymore, and he liked it that way.

Esmé smirked and wiggled her hips a little, offering him a glance at the pair of his boxer shorts that she had changed into. “I can’t help but agree” she smiled “I do make your clothes look far better than you ever could” she grinned.

Gerard smiled. “You can have my entire wardrobe if you want it, just as long as you promise that I am the only one that gets to see you in it” he smirked.

“No one else gets that sort of show, mi amor” Esmé grinned as she turned back to the sandwich she had been making.

Gerard stared at her, entranced by every slight move, before he shook his head, letting out a low whistle. “You’re actually here” he muttered.

Esmé quirked a brow. “Why wouldn’t I be here?” she questioned as she turned to look at him again, offering him another soft smile.

“I am just having a moment” Gerard replied “I am taking a second to appreciate the fact that you’re actually stood there, in my clothes, with your hair all messy because of me, and it just baffled me for a second” he added.

Esmé giggled gently and stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You’ve got me. Despite all the ups and the downs, you have me and now it is up to you what happens next” she insisted “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me to” she added.

“Would you marry me?” he quipped, his expression caught somewhere between serious and joking.

Esmé straightened slightly. “Are you actually asking that?” she posed.

Gerard thought for a second before he rested his head against hers. “One day, I will do the whole getting down on one knee for you. I will ask Delia for her permission and I will ask Ella and Eloisa if they object too, but for now, I just want to know that it is on your radar like it is on mine. This is it for us, Esmé, this is for keeps now, and I just want to know that we’re sure” he murmured. He felt a little silly, he should have been more than assured that they were for keeps by her agreement to move in with him, but he wanted to make sure that they were on the same page. He was ready for settling down and wanted to be sure she was too.

Esmé listened to his words carefully, her eyes closed, before she leant up, kissing him gently. “I want it” she whispered gently.

Gerard merely smiled at her response and kept their foreheads pressed together, not wanting to lose the moment so quickly.