Love Me Until My Heart Stops

“Look at you” Gerard smiled as he stepped into their bedroom, his blue eyes landing on Esmé who sat up against the pillows, a book perched in her lap and her hair pinned to the top of her head. It had been a quiet day for her, with a home match on the Sunday as opposed to Saturday, Enrique had afforded her the day off and Gerard could tell that she was appreciative of it. She would never admit it, especially not to him, but she needed a little time to herself and the day off had provided her with a chance to take a little time for herself, even if she had been visited by her sister, it was a little break that she needed.

Esmé, who had quietly been reading, looked up at the sound of his voice, offering him a soft smile. “You’re back sooner than I thought you would be” she commented as she quietly closed the book, beckoning him over for a kiss. Gerard obliged happily, sitting down gently beside her.

“Enrique needed to get out early, so he let us all go. You’re happy to see me?” he quipped.

Esmé smiled. “Always, you know that” she commented.

“How was Eloisa?” he posed, moving to make himself a little more comfortable on the bed. He didn’t understand it, they had a perfectly comfortable living room down the stairs, but Esmé always insisted on reading in the bedroom, something which fascinated Gerard. He knew that she had quirks, from their time as friends he had leant a lot about the little details of her personality, but since they’d started to sleep together, he’d learned to find them ever more fascinating.

Esmé smiled. “You’ll need to invest in a wedding suit” she mused softly.

Gerard lifted his eyebrow. “Martin proposed?” he questioned.

“Christmas day apparently” Esmé replied “According to her, it was very romantic” she enthused.

“Somehow, Martin doesn’t strike me as a romantic” Gerard mused.

“Me neither, but Eloisa insists that he is” Esmé smiled.

Gerard shrugged. “I bet he doesn’t hold a candle to me in the romance stakes” he mumbled as he placed his arms around her, pulling her into a familiar and comfortable embrace.

“I wouldn’t know” Esmé mused gently “Martin hasn’t exactly tried to put the moves on me and you’ve never, to my knowledge at least, tried to put the moves on Eloisa” she mused.

Gerard chuckled. “I promise you, nena, I haven’t” he mused, placing a kiss on her forehead.

“That’s good to know” Esmé smiled gently before a small silence fell over them, allowing her to gently snuggle into his arms. It was on her mind, the topic of marriage had been since Eloisa had announced that she was getting married herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to bring it up. She didn’t want to appear needy, they were already living together after just 5 months of dating, but a little part of her wanted to take the next step with him, even if it was soon. She didn’t see the need to wait around.

“Esmé, amor, are you sure that you’re alright?” Gerard mumbled, his hand gently rubbing her stomach, exposing it from beneath the material of her jumper.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Esmé replied.

“You just seem quiet” Gerard mused softly “You’re a lot of things, but quiet isn’t normally one of them” he added.

“I was just thinking” she mused, adjusting herself so that that were laying facing one another.

“You do think a lot” Gerard smiled “Can I know what about this time?” he posed.

Esmé contemplated telling him, but opted instead to shake her head, not wanting to put it on him.

Gerard furrowed his brow. “Cesc?” he suggested softly. It was still a sore spot, he knew that it was, but it was the only thing he could think of that would make Esmé want to stop talking so suddenly. She knew how it got to him, the fact that she had dated his friend before him and that her feelings were still a little muddled, and it was the only topic he could come up with that would make her go quiet on him.

Esmé frowned. “Do you think I think about him a lot?” she posed.

“No, I don’t, but there a very few things in this world that would make you stop talking like that and the only one I could come up with was him. Is he what you’re thinking about?” he pressed.

“No” Esmé replied simply.

“Then what?” Gerard posed, sitting up slightly.

“You really want to know?” Esmé quipped, sitting up just like him.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “It was Cesc” he muttered.

Esmé rolled her eyes. “You have go to stop assuming the worst” she shot back at him “I have done my upmost to show you that I don’t give two shits about that man and still you assume that he’s the only thought in mind. It’s a little ridiculous, Gerard” she muttered.

Gerard scoffed. “So since the trip to London, you’ve not thought about him?” he posed, his tone a little sharp.

Esmé’s cheeks warmed, something which made him shake his head.

“Why do you do it?” he muttered “Why do you still put yourself through it?” he added.

“Because it’s been six freaking months, Gerard, not years and I am still getting the idiot out of my system, but you don’t care about that do you? We’re not all like you, Gerard, we can’t all forget in the blink of an eye, so yeah, I do still think about him but not because I love him, or because I miss him, but because he was fucking significant in my life. Look at me right now and tell me that every once in a while your mind doesn’t wander to Shakira?” she hissed.

Gerard’s expression softened briefly, but quickly tightened, something which made Esmé scoff.

“You want to know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about asking you for your thoughts on us getting married, Gerard, I wanted to ask how much longer we would need to wait, but you’ve just made it abundantly clear that you’re not ready, so thank you for that” she muttered before she pushed herself to her feet, moving to leave the room.

Gerard stared after her for a moment before he quietly pushed himself to his feet, making his way over to his sock drawer where he quickly picked up the small box which had sat there for almost six weeks. Offering it a small look, he squeezed it into his palm and made his way into the living room where Esmé sat, her knees curled to her chest. “Esmé?” he murmured.

“I am done with this conversation, Gerard” Esmé returned without looking up.

Gerard didn’t miss the little quiver in her voice, something which made him sigh. “Mi amor, I am sorry” he mused.

Esmé shifted a little, but didn’t look up, something which made Gerard shake his head. Taking a little breath, he took a couple of paces around the sofa before he knelt down ahead of her, his hand gently brushing against her leg. Esmé squeaked a little at the touch and looked her, her breathing hitching as she stared down at him, her brown eyes mirroring his blues. “You know, I’ve had this for 6 weeks” he mused, playing with the box in his hand “Your madre gave it to me when we went to her before Christmas. She told me to use it when the time was right” he explained.

“What are you doing?” Esmé breathed.

Gerard quirked a smile. “What does it look like?” he quipped.

“Gerard…”

“This is what you want” Gerard interrupted softly “I can see that it is, so why don’t you let me through it OK?” he posed.

Esmé blushed and took her lip between her teeth, watching him.

Gerard took another breath before he smiled. “You know how you felt when we said I love you? I think I understand where you were coming from” he teased, earning a small sniffy giggle from Esmé. Smiling, he took a look down at his feet before he peeked back up at her, taking her hands in his. “I’m an idiot” he murmured, his voice warm and heartfelt “I am irrational, I fixate on the smallest and the stupidest things, but somehow, you found it in yourself to love me and I am as amazed by that now as I was the first time you said it to me. Do I worry that you still hold a candle for Cesc, yes? Do I worry that one day you’ll wake up and change your mind about me? All of the time. But you’re the risk I want to take, Esmeralda, the one I always wanted to take. I am not promising that we’ll get married quickly or that we’ll have a bunch of little babies in the near future, but if you’d have me, I’d like to ask you. Esmeralda Silva, would you like to be my wife?” he posed gently.

Esmé sniffled, her brown eyes shy and tearful. “Yes” she whispered, wiping her face gently.

Gerard chuckled bashfully. “Really?” he posed.

Esmé smiled and nodded her head, her arms folding around his neck. “Yes” she repeated, kissing his forehead “Yes” she giggled.

Gerard placed his arms around her waist and lifted her up, causing her to fold her legs around his waist. “You know that I’d have waited” she whispered, clinging onto him softly.

Gerard smiled, resting his forehead on hers. “You wouldn’t have” he murmured, soaking in the moment.

Esmé grinned back at him for a second before she placed her lips against his, enjoying the moment.