Love Me Until My Heart Stops

“You’re still going to go?” Esmé mused as she placed her bag over her shoulder, her dark eyes peeking back at Gerard who was quietly putting on his shoes. She didn’t like it, the idea of Gerard sitting with Shakira in a café, but she knew better than to complain, especially after the way he’d been with her when she had made the call to see Cesc for the last time. He’d been wonderful, even if he had kicked up a little fuss to begin with, and she knew that she had to afford him the same courtesy, even if it was a little difficult, she didn’t want to be the difficult one in their relationship.

Gerard, who’d been tying the laces on his shoes, nodded. “It’s just a coffee, Esmé” he reasoned gently.

“I know” Esmé replied “I just…” she murmured, trailing off a little.

Gerard smiled softly and pushed himself to his feet, closing the small gap that existed between them with a soft hug. “I know the feeling, Esmé” he whispered, swaying her a little “But this is my Cesc moment, the one where I can look her in the eye and tell her that I am better off now than I ever was with her and that’s not something I want to pass up on. I know you don’t like it, I felt the same way when you got on that flight to London, but this is my chance at getting that closure and I can only hope that that is something you can allow me to do” he explained softly. It was strange, he and Shakira had been over for a little over a year, but he still wanted the chance to put a definitive end on things. He wanted the chance to show her what she had missed out on.

Esmé sighed and rested her head on his shoulder, clinging onto him slightly. “I want you to get the same closure I did” she murmured gently, her voice just loud enough for him to hear “I just wish your ex was not her” she mumbled.

Gerard chuckled gently and took a step back, his hand gently tilting her head back so that she looked up at him. “You know that I don’t see her like that now, don’t you?” he mused, his thumb gently tracing the line of her jaw.

“Whether you see her like that or not, doesn’t mean that she isn’t beautiful” Esmé replied.

Gerard smiled. “Firstly, your ex is a pretty good looking guy, and secondly, I really don’t care what she looks like. Esmé, nena, I am not going to do anything to jeopardize what we have here. She had her shot with me, she let that go, and whilst it hurt at the time, I can see now that that was for the best. I have you now and I don’t want to lose that” he insisted, squeezing her hands gently.

Esmé nodded her head gently before she pushed herself up onto her toes, pressing a light kiss against his lips. “I trust you” she whispered, her nose gently brushing his. Gerard smiled and squeezed her hand gently once more, trying to reassure her. He knew the feeling well, the trepidation of watching the person you loved spend time with the last person they’d had feelings for, but he doubted that Esmé had anything to worry about. He adored her, he had done for months, and he doubted that anything Shakira had to say could change his mind about it. He wanted Esmé.

~#~
“I was starting to think that you might not show” Shakira smiled as she quietly climbed out of the seat she had found, her arms gently wrapping around Gerard’s shoulder. She had been there for a while, longer than she would have liked, but she was pleased to see that he had shown up, part of her had thought that Esmé would manage to convince him otherwise.

Gerard returned her hug hesitantly and sat down, offering her the politest look he could muster. “Esmé was a little unsure” he mused.

Shakira nodded. “I can understand why she might be” she commented “I mean…”

“That’s not why I am here, Shakira” Gerard interjected, sensing where she was going. He wasn’t an idiot, there was only one explanation for her arrival at his home the night before, and he wasn’t going to pretend to be oblivious, nor was he going to afford her the chance to make the offer she had wanted to make the night before.

Shakira tilted her head. “What are you talking about?” she mused.

“You showed up last night for a reason” the defender muttered, trying to keep his voice down “You thought you could get me into bed” he added.

Shakira blinked, but that only served to make the defender scoff. “You showed up in the middle of the night, Shakira, and you thought I was still single. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist” he mumbled.

“I missed you” she murmured, a little hurt by his accusation “And I thought since I was in town, I could come and see you” she mused.

Gerard sighed gently. “You know that that isn’t an option you get anymore. You made the decision to end our relationship, not me, and I am not going to screw up the best thing I have on a whim of yours. I tried to make it work with you, I honestly did, but you made your choice and this is me making mine. It was nice to see you, Shakira, you look amazing, but I am with Esmé now and that is something I want to keep going” he explained, his voice gentle and earnest. It hurt him to say it, Shakira was the first girl he had properly fallen in love with, but he wasn’t about to mess up what he had with Esmé for her. She’d had her shot and she’d been the one who opted to end it, not him.

Shakira sighed. “I made a mistake” she whispered, reaching out of his hands, but Gerard was quicker, pulling them back to his side.

“That’s something you have to live with, not me. I am sorry, Shakira, but I have little intention of…” Gerard’s words faded as Shakira pushed herself out of her seat, placing her lips on his. Gerard startled at the sudden contact, caught off guard, before he gently lifted his hands, pushing her back. “I am not going to do it to her” he murmured, creating a small gap between them.

Shakira straightened up. “You’re telling me that you didn’t feel anything just then?” she murmured.

Gerard nodded. “That’s precisely what I am saying” he mused “We’ve had our shot and it didn’t work out. You can’t change it, I can’t change it and I am not going to mess Esmé around for you, not after the stunt Cesc pulled. We’re done here” he mused before he placed a light kiss on her cheek, leaving the café.

Shakira stared after him and shook her head, wondering just how she had let him go.

~#~
Quietly closing the door behind him, Gerard padded into the living room, his blue eyes lighting up at the sight of Esmé who was curled up on the couch, her laptop balanced in her lap as she flicked through an online catalogue. She looked peaceful, her dark hair was pinned to the top of her head, keeping it out of her face, and her feet were clad in a pair of fluffy socks, a quirk which made him grin. Only Esmé could have him thinking about peeling her fluffy socks off of her feet. Leaning against the door frame, he watched her for a second before she let out a small noise. “I know you’re watching me” she mused.

“How?” he quipped.

“Your version of quiet is not as subtle as you like to think it is” Esmé replied, not shifting her eyes away from her laptop “How’s Shakira?” she added.

“Dealt with” Gerard replied, stepping into the room a little further “She said she made a mistake and that she wanted to make amends for it, but I told her were to go. I have something a lot better here” he mused, sitting down beside her.

“You smell like her perfume” Esmé noted, her nose wrinkled.

“She kissed me” Gerard replied “But I ended it just as quickly as it started. I am not going to be him, Esmé” he murmured.

Esmé sighed. “I know that, in my mind, but I can’t help but…” Esmé’s words fell away as Gerard placed a kiss against her lips, earning a small smile.

“I know that you can’t, and I know you worry, but I didn’t give you this” he mumbled, his finger brushing over her engagement ring “I didn’t give it to you as a spur of the moment knee jerk decision. Esmé, you’re what I want and I’d be a pretty massive moron to screw that up” he explained.

Esmé nodded, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. “I know” she whispered.