Love Me Until My Heart Stops

67: At Least You Can Say You Tried

“Esmé?” Gerard posed as he quietly closed the door of their hotel room, his blue eyes following the trail of shoes which led towards the closed bathroom door. It had been a shock to him, finding Esmé with Roberto, but he knew he couldn’t let it go. Esmé hadn’t said a word about the exchange, but the expression on her face had spoken volumes and he wanted to make sure that she was alright. The first time was always likely to be a little bumpy, but he had hoped that Esmé would be a little more prepared. He had hoped he would be there with her. “Esmé” he called, his fist hitting the bathroom door “Querida, are you OK?” he pressed, resting his head against the wooden door.

Esmé, who had locked the door, let out a small sigh, her fingers gently wiping beneath eyes. She didn’t quite know why she was so upset, she knew what her father had done and what her mother had done to stop him from coming back, but still it got to her. She hadn’t seen the man in 26 years and having him appear on her wedding day of all days irked her. She knew that Delia was no saint, because of her mother, she hadn’t seen her father since he’d gone, but that didn’t excuse Roberto’s leaving and it didn’t give him the right to show up on her wedding day. Regardless of her mother’s intervention, Roberto was a stranger her and she didn’t want to deal with him then.

“Esmé, I am seriously contemplating kicking the door in if you don’t open it” Gerard noted, tapping the door again.

Esmé let out a shaky breath before she pushed herself up, gently unlocking the door which allowed Gerard to fall inside, catching himself before he fell over properly. “Esmé” he murmured “I am sorry that he came here” he noted.

Esmé shook her head. “You didn’t know he was going to be here” she noted, still wiping her eyes a little “If you did, I have no doubt that you would have gotten rid of him” she added.

Gerard sighed gently and placed his hands on her hips, encouraging her into a warm hug.

“Why did he pick today to show up, Gerard?” Esmé mumbled as she hugged him gently, her head resting on his shoulder “He’s had years to show his face, to find us, and he picked today. I just….I don’t understand” she murmured.

“You’re his daughter, Esmé” Gerard reasoned gently “You’re his little girl and before he knew it, you were getting married and he just wanted to be a part of that. I don’t excuse him coming here, that was out of line, but it’s a big day for him too and I guess it got the better of him. Look at it this way” he murmured, his hand gently moving down to brush over the slight bump which was only just noticeable beneath her dress “If we have a little girl in a few months’ time, there is nothing in this world that would stop me from showing up to her wedding. She could hate my guts, she could not want me there, but I would still be there because no matter what, she’d be my little girl and I would be her father” he mused gently.

Esmé sighed. “He doesn’t know me, Gerard, and I don’t know him” she protested gently “I didn’t even recognize him” she added.

Gerard wiped her cheek gently, pressing a kiss to the red skin. “You were a year old when he left, you wouldn’t remember him, but you can’t let this deter you, querida. Deep down, I know you want to know him and whilst I admit, the timing is off, I think you just need to keep at it” he murmured, his arms wrapping around her gently.

“Why are you so for him?” Esmé mumbled, her hands playing with the bottom of Gerard’s shirt which he had untucked.

“I just think he deserves a chance” Gerard replied with a little shrug “Like it or not, he is half of the reason you’re alive and I just think you shouldn’t be so quick to write him off. Give it some time and if you still feel as though you want nothing to do with him, then at least you can say that you gave it a shot” he mused.

Esmé nodded. “I can do that” she murmured “But not right now. I still want to wait before I see him again” she noted.

“I get that” Gerard mused, gently leading her out of the bathroom that they had been stood in “But I just don’t want you to have regrets about not trying” he commented.

Esmé smiled at him. “Haven’t I got a caring husband?” she teased, her feet carefully moving towards the bed where she sat down, her dark eyes looking up at him. He still looked wonderful, even if his jacket and tie were nowhere to be seen and his shirt was untucked, and Esmé couldn’t help but marvel at him for a second. It was still a little hard at times for her to wrap her head around the notion that he was with her.

Gerard shook his head. “You know I just want to make sure that you’re OK. I can’t have you stressing now that you’re carrying around our bump” he commented, his hand gesturing to her small bump. He knew that no one else had noticed it, not even Delia or the others who had spent most of the day with her, but Gerard hadn’t been able to miss it. Just one look at it made him giddy.

Esmé smiled and reached out of his hand, gently placing it against the front of her dress, earning a wide smile on his face. “I know you’ve never said it, and I am fairly sure that you’ve never thought it either, but I am going to do the best by this baby, Esmé” he mused, his thumb brushing over the material gently “I am going to be good for them” he insisted.

Esmé shook her head gently and reached her arms up, wrapping them gently around his neck. “I don’t doubt that for a second” she murmured, her nose nudging against his.

“I am not going to be like him” Gerard mumbled, the stare of his blue eyes fixed on hers. He doubted that she had thought it, Esmé was a lot of things, but unnecessarily irrational wasn’t one of them, but he wanted to make sure that she didn’t ever think he could be like her father. He had every intention of being around for their son or daughter when they were born and didn’t want Esmé thinking otherwise.

Esmé smiled. “I know you’re not” she mused, moving back to her feet “I know you’re going to be fantastic” she added, pressing a brief kiss against his lips “Now, I know that Roberto’s showing up was ill timed, but how about we stop talking for a little while? I’ve been wearing this dress for hours now and I was thinking that my lovely new husband might want to take it off. What do you think?” she mused, offering him a soft smile.

Gerard smiled back at her and reached around her back, gently pulling at the zip. “I think I can handle that” he grinned.
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Thanks to Jayme112234 for the comment :)