Love Me Until My Heart Stops

“How are you feeling?” Roberto mused as he set Ava down into the bassinette that the midwife had provided. It had been a tense couple of hours, with Delia lingering around the room, Roberto had been a little hesitant to spend time with Esmé and Ava, but he was pleased to have a second alone with them. He just wanted a moment to admire the beautiful little granddaughter that his youngest daughter had given to him.

“Like I’ve been hit by a van” Esmé confessed gently, her hands fiddling with the blankets which sat around her “I’ve barely had a second to rest with her around, but she kind of makes it worth it” she mused as she peeked down at the sleeping infant. She was still in awe, Ava was almost 12 hours old, but still Esmé couldn’t quite believe that the little girl had arrived or that she was as beautiful as she was.

Roberto smiled gently. “She’s a beautiful little girl, Esmé” he enthused softly “She’s got a lot of you in her” he added.

Esmé shook her head. “She looks like her papa” she commented, a soft smile on her face “Gerard’s very happy about that” she added.

“He’s very happy in general” Roberto smiled softly “Not that he could be blamed, he’s got a good job, a beautiful wife and a very sweet little girl. He’s got a lot to be happy about” he grinned.

Esmé blushed, shaking her head gently. “Did he say where he was going? He seemed to sneak out whilst I was taking a nap” she mused.

“He’s gone home to get a couple of things and catch a little sleep. He said he’d be back in a little” Roberto assured her gently.

“Where’d mama go?” Esmé posed.

Roberto snorted. “You think your mother would keep me up to date one where she’s going?” he quipped, trying to keep the mood light. He didn’t want to mar the day, it was supposed to be about Esmé and Ava, but the topic of his ex-wife was still a sore one. He knew that he had been wrong to go, especially since he had offered her little to no explanation for his sudden disappearance, but that didn’t excuse the way Delia had behaved since he had left. She had been stubborn, insensitive, and he doubted that it was going to change any time soon, especially if the look on her face when he’d walked into the room was anything to go by.

Esmé sighed. “Can you not talk to her?” she posed gently.

“You know her, Esmé” Roberto commented “She’s a stubborn girl and I know it better than most. I could talk to her, but I doubt it will do anything to make her less cold towards me” he added gently.

“But if you told her why you did what you did, then perhaps she would understand” Esmé reasoned softly “I know how stubborn she can be, I have spent my entire life with her, but Papa…”

“Papa?” Roberto commented, his eyebrow raised a little.

Esmé shrugged. “It’s what you are, isn’t it?” she posed, her face a little sheepish.

“It is” Roberto confirmed “I just thought it might take a little longer for you to say it. I think I only ever heard you say it 5 or 6 times” he mused gently.

Esmé shook her head. “You should talk to mama” she commented gently “If you told her why you’d gone, she might be a little more forgiving” she suggested gently.

Roberto nodded his head softly. “I’ll talk to her, Esmé, but at another time. Right now, I want to be focused on you and on that beautiful baby of yours” he insisted as Ava let out a small whimper, causing Esmé to roll onto her side, collecting the little girl who had woken up in anticipation of her next feed. “I’ll go outside and call Gerard” Roberto smiled before he pressed a kiss to Esmé’s head, thrilled that she had made the decision to call him.

Flashing his daughter one more smile, he stepped out into the hall and moved to reach for his phone, only to stop as he caught sight of his former wife, a glare etched onto her features. “Delia” he murmured.

“What are you doing here, Roberto?” Delia muttered.

“Esmé and Gerard wanted me here. I wanted to meet my granddaughter” he insisted softly.

Delia rolled her eyes. “You didn’t appear when Ella had Oliver, your grandson” she threw out cattily.

Roberto sighed. “I don’t want to fight with you, Delia” he noted gently “I just want to be here for Esmé and Ava” he added.

Delia scoffed. “You’ve never wanted to be around before” she muttered.

“That’s not true and you know it. I tried to be around for them, Delia, I tried so hard, but you just threw it back into my face after I left. I tried to be involved, I made contact 6 months after I left, but you never let me get through” he muttered as he grabbed onto her arm, leading her away from the door of Esmé’s room.

“You left” Delia snapped “And I didn’t want to set them up for another fall when you decided you were bored of them again” she added.

“I never got bored of them” Roberto insisted “I loved those girls, I love them now, and the only reason I left was because…”

“You didn’t care” Delia snapped.

“I left for you” Roberto fired back, causing the older woman’s face to slacken a little “We were in the shit, Delia, I was barely making a thing and you had such big dreams for our daughters. We needed something to happen and when your papi died and left that money to the girls, I knew what needed to be done. The money was yours if I left and so I made the decision that would provide best for those girls. Did I hate leaving you? Of course I did, Delia, I loved you so much, but I needed to do it for them. They deserved a better life than I was giving them” he explained softly.

Delia blinked.

“I…I am sorry, Delia” Roberto mumbled “I could say sorry a million times, but I don’t know what else you want from me. I am not your favourite person, I get that, but I am not going to let that stop me spending time with my daughters and my grandchildren for you. I don’t want that to be a problem” he insisted softly.

Delia merely stared at him.

Roberto sighed and padded away, hoping that it was merely a matter of time before things were a little easier.