Belonging to Lust

Chapter 1: Mother and Daughter

I don’t think there’s ever been a person that died from boredom in our entire history, but tonight, I’m about to change that, Zaiyia thought to herself as she was lying back on the hotel bed, staring up at the water stained ceiling. She was so unbelievably bored she could feel her brain starting to shut down. Zaiyia Halifax wished she had some cross puzzles to do while she stayed in that shady hotel waiting for her mother’s occasional visits.

Speaking of her mother, Yovela Halifax, was currently hogging the bathroom to herself to she could get ready to go out on a night of the town. Every night, she’d set out to find a temporary provider for them, or what her mother liked to call a ‘boyfriend’. The whole boyfriend hunt was pretty much Zaiyia’s life in a nut shell so she’s use to her mother’s crazy antics.

It all started when Yovela had conceived her first child at the tender age of 16, and was pressured by her parents to keep the baby. Yovela’s mother was a prostitute that had taught her daughter the many ways to weaken a man for her own selfish manipulation. Yovela’s father was a convict that taught her all the different skills she would need to survive, such as getting away with breaking the law. No one knew who Zaiyia’s biological father was, and no one ever cared to hunt him down. Her grandparents were just fine with helping their daughter raise their grandchild without they baby daddy and were willing to do whatever it took to provide for them both. Unfortunately along the way, Zaiyia’s grandparents had taken part in several kinds of illegal affairs, the recent one landing them on death row. Zaiyia didn’t really like to think about what her grandparents did, but to sum it up in so many words; her grandparents murdered a family of tourist for their money to support their then pregnant daughter. Yovela was heartbroken when she found out about her parent’s lockup and since she didn’t have a baby daddy to come to her rescue, she disappeared into hiding. Child protective services tried to find her, but she refused to be thrown into foster care. Yovela jumped from one drug house to the next until her due date. Her compassionate doctor that helped deliver her baby was smitten with Yovela and offered to support her and her baby. From there, the endless cycle of using men was born and each poor victim was blindly eager to come to Yovela’s ‘rescue’.

Zaiyia knew her mother’s agenda by heart. The first sign that her mother was hunting for a new victim was her going out every single night. Yovela would spin a tale of woes to her victim while also trying to pin point exactly what he wanted in a women. The more information Yovela got, the easier it became for her to become his dream girl, and win his affections. When Yovela finally snagged the guy, she won’t ever come back to the hotel. She won’t call or check up and ask how her daughter is doing or if she needs something. Zaiyia knows not to bother going out and searching for her mother. She knows Yovela will return when she’s weaken her victims enough with her lies. Once Yovela is finally playing the role as his girlfriend, she will begin to use her jedi mind tricks to get her boyfriend to ask her to move in with him without him knowing. Once he takes the bait, and she moves in, the last step would be introducing Zaiyia to her boyfriend. In the end of all that hard work, Yovela will then eventually decide to leave the poor guy for some body. After that, the cycles continues.

It’s hard to believe that this tiresome routine can be an everyday lifestyle, but it is for Yovela and her daughter. Zaiyia was born into this, and was also taught the trade by her own mother. Zaiyia has had more ‘Daddies’ than any woman should have in a lifetime and all of them have been discarded aside for a new one by her mother. For example, in the last town they lived in, Zaiyia’s mother met a realtor named Zachery at a bar. Yovela fed Zachery a pity story about her and her 16 year old daughter being homeless and her fear that child protective services will take Zaiyia away and Yovela didn’t want to lose her because Zaiyia was her life etc. Zachery had fallen for her story, and gave Yovela thousands of dollars to spend on Zaiyia and herself so they can get back on their feet again. When Zaiyia moved into Zachery’s house two week later, she was forced to pretend that she had spent her entire life homeless and didn’t know what it was like to have a home. Zaiyia played her part well, with the child-like wonder and the excitement of seeing new inventions and having hot water to bathe in. A month later, Zaiyia woke up to her mother sneaking them out in the middle of the night after stealing cash from Zachery’s wallet. Yovela had met a gym trainer a week prior, and had ‘fallen in love’ with him. His name was Craig, and he was so smitten by Yovela’s personality and strength, he was willing to help her raise Zaiyia as his own in his house. After draining Craig dry, Yovela dumped him, for the mailman, Jeremy. After postal worker Jeremy served his purpose, Yovela met café manager, Jose, and after him the garbage collector, Adam. The point is, Yovela has had many men in her life and has never come across one that she couldn’t manipulate.

After about a year, Yovela would always feel an urge to move to another town for a fresh new start in life and men. Unfortunately this time, Yovela had left for an entirely different reason. She had witnessed something traumatic that had devastated her. The gym trainer Craig, had shot and killed garbage collector Adam in front of Yovela’s eyes in their home. Craig had lost everything when he was dating Yovela, and was devastated when she had left him without any reason. When he tracked her down, he found out she was dating Adam now. Craig completely lot it and killed Adam out of jealousy. Craig was arrested and was given a life sentence. In anyone’s eyes, you’d think Yovela would have changed in the blink of an eye and stop using men for her own selfish desires, seeing as what happened to Adam. This was something she had never had happen to her before, and it did indeed affect her heavily for a while. Zaiyia felt bad for her mother when she found her sobbing in the bathroom about it. Yovela then promised Zaiyia then and there that she would never use another man for her selfish needs again. Now here they were; in a new town with Zaiyia waiting for her mother to come out of the bathroom so she can give her opinion on her mother’s outfit for the night. Zaiyia was so caught up in her thought she didn’t hear the bathroom door open.

“So my little Gazania, how do I look?” A voiced called from the foot of the bed. Zaiyia sat up on her elbows to see her mother posing in the doorway of the bathroom, looking beautiful as always with her long black braids flowing down her back, her flawless ebony skin on display, and her deep brown eyes enhanced with some makeup. The woman could pass as a representation of an alluring African Queen. If Yovela’s lies weren’t believable enough to capture the heart of any man, then her looks would definitely do the job.

Zaiyia gave her mom’s a thumbs up before letting out a tired sigh. “You look incredibly sexy, as always. I don’t know why you still need me to remind you that every time you go out.”

Yovela, with a smug look on her face, came over to take a seat beside her daughter so she could slip on her heels. “Because I got to make sure that I still look good at 32. If one little inch of my body is aging, then everything could change at the drop of a hat. We could lose everything, Zaiyia. I’m not ready for that kind of change.”

“Well I can tell you right now, if you inherited grandma’s anti-aging ability, then you’re not gonna need me to give you any compliments for a long ass time.” The expression on Yovela’s face started to turn sad at the reminder of her beloved incarcerated mother. It use to hurt Yovela to think about her parents on death row, but after two years she got through it, and embraced the simple fact that they were at least alive for the time being.

Yovela brushed off the negative thoughts, and turned her frown into a smile for aging so beautifully. She sat down on the bed to slip on her heels before coming over to her little girl. “I’m starting to believe that may be the case here.”

Giving her daughter a pat on the cheek, Yovela leaned over to give her a kiss on the forehead as well. “Don’t wait up my little Gazania. There’s no telling what mommy might hook tonight.” With a wink, Yovela grabbed her purse and coat, and sauntered out of the hotel, locking the door behind her.

Zaiyia let out a long drawn out sigh before flopping herself back down on the bed. She always hated this part of her mother’s fishing game. Every night, her mother is going to dress herself up all nice and pretty just to go out until dawn. If her mom didn’t return to the hotel by morning, then her mother had hooked a possible suitor. If she starts disappearing throughout the day, then that means she’s working her magic on him. Yovela wasn’t one to tell her daughter what went on on her dates, so Zaiyia was never sure how soon they would get out of the hotel and into a cozy home. Over the years, Zaiyia had to learn to trust her mother and believe Yovela knew what she was doing. It was hard at first, because Yovela wouldn’t call Zaiyia for weeks at a time. How was Zaiyia supposed to know if her mother hadn’t been killed off by some psychopath if she didn’t pick up her phone? That was one of Zaiyia’s worst nightmare when she was younger. Unfortunately at that fragile age, she had to learn the hard way that her mother was going to eventually show up one day. When she did, Yovela’s excuses for being gone for so long was always the same; that she needed more time to work her magic on the ‘future daddy’ so she could move them out of the hotel and into his house.

Zaiyia got up from her bed to look into the huge mirror that hung behind their small TV. She could remember a time when she was little and Yovela had started her bad habit of abandoning Zaiyia in their hotel room to fend for herself. She use to look into the mirrors to try and find her father’s face within her own, hoping that she’d be able to find him easier if she could only get a clue from her reflection. Young Zaiyia refused to believe that she took more after her mother than her father. The emotional turmoil of being abandoned at random times during the day and night by her own mother was hurting her tremendously. When Yovela started disappearing for weeks, Zaiyia began to believe she was abandoned for good, which only fueled her quest to find her biological father so she could live with him instead. Sadly. Yovela had no pictures, stories or memories of the guy, so Zaiyia knew nothing about him or where he was last seen. The only link to her biological father was running through her veins. Zaiyia would spends days looking at herself in the mirror, trying to fool herself into believing that she could see a glimpse of him when she’d tilt her face a certain way. But in reality, she never saw him. Much to her dismay, the face she saw in the mirror was her mothers’.

Zaiyia shared her mother’s deep brown eyes, soft nose, full lips, and long braids, except hers were braided differently. Yovela’s braids fell down to her waist while Zaiyia’s braids fell past her hips. In the mirror, Zaiyia couldn’t find any distinct features that stood out against her mother’s so Zaiyia learned to accept that she would never find her father’s identity inside herself. Even if she had, who’s to say he wouldn’t treat her as bad as her mother does? By 7 years old, Zaiyia grew tired of her mother ditching her in hotels and breaking so many guy’s hearts. She stood up to her mother one night and gave her a piece of her mind. Her mother gave her the courtesy of letting Zaiyia finish her emotional speech, only to slap her across the face. That violent hit caused Yovela to let her guards down and open up to her daughter emotionally about her struggle. Her mother’s speech hit Zaiyia hard, making her feel terrible for expressing her selfish needs.

“So it’s all about you isn’t it, Zaiyia. It’s all about the pain and suffering you go through living in a sheltered place that I paid for to keep your ungrateful ass out of the rain and eating the food I scrounged up together from working at my shitty ass job. You think I’m happy? No, I’m not! In fact, I haven’t been happy since the day you were born and my parents were thrown on deathrow. I have to go out and make the money while you sit here and suck me dry. I have to find a man that’s worthy enough to support us while you do nothing but make them uncomfortable. Maybe your pathetic speech should be focused on somebody else that doesn’t do shits around here, like you!”

Anyone that was familiar with Zaiyia’s mother, knew that her speech was the closest to genuine emotions than anything she’s ever said in her life. Going from man to man pretending to be a different woman each time made it difficult for Yovela to express her emotions. She can pretend to be all emotional, but in reality HER emotions are something hard for her to display. Zaiyia’s gotten used to it, as well as keeping her emotions to herself too.

No matter what Yovela and Zaiyia have gone through together, they still love each other as mother and daughter.
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