Belonging to Lust

“Alice White!?” Heath hollered, nearly rocketing out of the armchair at the mention of the young girl’s name. Since when did Zaiyia become such buddy buddies with the person behind her bullying?! “Fuck no am I going to have that girl enter my home! Over my dead body!”

Zaiyia let out a small sigh of defeat. Requesting Alice White to be a part of tomorrow’s sleepover was pretty outrageous of her to ask. Hell, not too long ago she would never imagine those words coming out of her mouth so she understood Heath’s objection. But things are changing now, and she really wanted her sworn nemesis to accompany her friends to this sleepover. “Heath, you have to trust me on this one!”

“How the hell can you ask me to trust you when you’ve clearly lost your fucking mind, Zaiyia!?” Heath demanded to know, not willing to yield on this one. “Need I remind you she started all of this?”

“Don’t you want things to get better for me!? Don’t you want the bullying and the vandalizing to stop!?” Zaiyia implored him, her brown eyes pleading so passionately that her words slashed straight through Heath’s normally durable exterior and into his heart.

“Of course I do!” Heath frantically supported, nearing the edge of his seat. “I may not have been in the trenches with you, baby, but it hasn’t been easy standing on the sidelines watching it all happen.”

“If that’s true then you have to see that this is the way it has to be in order for things to get better!” Zaiyia explained. “I don’t trust Alice either, Heath, in fact I’m just as suspicious as you! But on the off chance that you and I are wrong about her and she truly wishes to stop this, I need to keep her close.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, I get it.” Heath reeled off the old saying with a sigh before sinking back into his chair with a grunt. “Fine! But I’m not gonna be happy about it.”

Zaiyia smiled in merriment at how sexy he made brooding look. “You don’t have to be. You just need to be...nice is all.”

“Cordial at best.” Heath corrected, rolling his eyes at the thought of sharing pleasantries with that unruly girl. They soon fell into reticence as Zaiyia finished the last of her breakfast then gathered their dishes into the kitchen sink. Heath soundlessly got up to follow her when a minute passed by. They had articulated this entire time without ever mentioning what had transpired between them for the last two nights. He was so appeased at first that they were just gonna glaze right over it, but the longer it remained unsaid the more it began to weigh excessively on his shoulders. Unfortunately, that meant they needed to talk about it. “Zaiyia.”

“What?” Zaiyia said, depositing the rinsed dishes into her dishwasher, her back to him.

“Baby, I need you to turn around and look at me.” Heath tenderly requested her, setting his hand on the island between them. He needed some stability to go on and found propping himself with his palms on a cool solid surface helped somewhat.

Zaiyia stiffened up at the way he called her ‘baby.’ It brought up visions of last night and the hot steamy time they spent together making love in her bed upstairs. Straightening her spine, she took a deep breath, shut the dishwasher, and turned around to face him with her back leaning against the counter. She steeled her features to keep whatever emotions that might dredge up from being seen. In moments like this she wished she could be destitute of all human emotions so his words wouldn't slash her apart sliver by sliver every damn time.

Heath knew it was his time to talk again, but as he parted his lips the words wouldn’t come out. They were a clutter in his mind. Where the heck should he even begin? Diverting his eyes from hers, he lowered them to the island and shook his head to himself. “Wow...this is complicated...”

“Yeah, I know it is. Heath...I’ve heard it all before. I pretty much got it memorized by now so can we just skip it this time.” Zaiyia pressed. With that, she walked to the stairs where she hoped to take refuge underneath her comforter where the world could never find her even with the emphatic sound of her heart breaking.

But he wasn’t about to let her leave. In a strict voice, he cut into the silence like butter. “Zaiyia, you get back over here right now.” He was pleased when she still and leisurely returned back to her spot, averting his eyes. “I don’t care how many times you’d heard me say this. You’re gonna hear it again.”

“K.” Zaiyia muttered under her breath, fighting the impulse to roll her eyes.

Proceeding with what he was struggling to say, Heath sighed. “Look, what we have going on between us has always been complicated. Yet we keep moving in the same circles. This has to stop, Zai. We can’t keep easily falling into the motion of this without seriously weighing the pros and cons.”

In an attempt to lull her resentment, Zaiyia exhaled loudly through her nose. She couldn’t really speak for him, but she could for herself. Her pros was that she was in love with this man in the same way a woman could be with a man. Her love for him easily exceeded any cons they faced. “I don’t need to think about anything, Heath. You’re the one that does. You’re the one with the problems.”

“No, we bo-” Heath began but was hindered by the smaller of the two.

“I made up my mind a long time ago about you!” Zaiyia clarified passionately, her voice mounting as the emotions in her eyes seemed to strengthen. “You have always been worth every millisecond of this! It’s clear that I never was for you.”

The misery in her voice clenched his heart with such strength he didn’t know how it didn’t implode. Whisking round the corner to stand before her, he planted his large hands on her shoulders to make her look him in the eyes. “Zai, don’t say that! It’s not true. It’s never been true.”

Knowing she shouldn’t touch him, Zaiyia raised her hands to grip them over his. “But it is!”

“Baby, you have to see this through my eyes. I have a lot to lose in this.” Heath reminded her softly.

Livid that she could understand that logically, but that her crushing love for him only saw it through illogical lenses, she ripped his hands off of her shoulder and jerked out of his reach, yelling. “THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK!? WHY DO YOU KEEP TOUCHING ME!?”

“BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP TOUCHING YOU! I TRY TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU, BUT ALL I THINK ABOUT IS YOU!” Heath roared right back, smashing a fist down onto the counter with such a force she was surprised it didn’t crack. Not wanting to shout, he paced away from her to calm himself back down. When he was safely there, he admitted to them both. “You’re like crack to me, baby. Crack and Kryptonite all wrapped up in this gorgeous package! And now after having one little taste of it I’m expected to ban myself from it for the rest of my life!?”

“Not knowing how to help ease his pain, Zaiyia whispered. “What are you gonna do about it then?”

“I don’t know.” Heath growled, loathing himself and the situation he was in. Nothing in his life has ever been this tough. Not even raising his little brother and sister on a McDonald salary. He knew what he had to do in this situation, he’s always known, but he also knew he didn’t have the strength nor the heart to do it. “I don’t know what I should do.”

“Then what happens now?” Zaiyia asked him frantically. He wasn’t the only one tormented by the lust between them. If he didn’t know what to do, and she knew she couldn’t refuse him then this marvelous nightmare will continue until someone stops it. And she didn’t want to be the one to do it.

“I don’t know that either, baby.” Heath sighed, running his hands through his short hair as he turned to face her. Dropping them back to his side, he mumbled. “Just see what happens. Take it day by day…”

Zaiyia heatedly protested. “No, you can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep toying with me, Heath!”

“Toying with you?! Oh, save that crap for somebody else!” Heath snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re just as guilty walking around in your perfume reeking of sex! That enticing resonance of yours every time you open that mouth of yours! And not to mention this carnal sexiness that exudes from you simply existing! Keep talking like you’re the fucking victim here when I got a laundry lists of ways you provoke a man to breathe hot for you! You may have the law in agreement that you’re the true victim here, but until one of them motherfuckers walks five minute in my boots, I don’t want to fucking hear it!”