Belonging to Lust
Chapter 143: So Proud of You!
Ask her ex-boyfriend herself?! Alice could never do something like that! Just the thought of walking by Alan in the hallway at school made her want to howl with grief. No, she could never confront him for the explanations as to why he broke up with her. Shaking her head frantically, Alice rebuked Zaiyia’s proposition. “No, I can’t! I can’t face him again.” Shivering with terror, she whispered into the dark night while sitting in the back patio of the guest house. “Especially not after all that’s happened between us.”
Zaiyia already understood why she couldn’t. Hell, it was transcribed all across the poor girl’s face whenever the moonlight beacon from behind a traveling cloud. Alice was terrified of showing her face to Alan after he dumped her. She probably wished she could just move on with ease like he had, but unfortunately for her, she was the one suffering through the heartbreak from her first and only love every single day and night. As time continued to tick by, her pain didn’t seem to be letting up. She was still the same broken girl that Alan dumped like it was only five minutes ago. Zaiyia didn’t have to be a bystander to that appalling scene to know this. Frowning, she tentatively asked. “Alice, um, do you...do you still love Alan as much as you did before he broke up with you? Has it diminished since then?”
Releasing a wretched groan that answered the question for her, Alice lamented brokenly in her arm chair wrapped in her small blanket. “N-No, it hasn’t diminished, Zaiyia. Not even an i-inch.” Clawing her hands down her tear streaked face, she cried. “I-I still love him.”
“You do, don’t you...I guess that was a stupid question to ask.” Zaiyia muttered to herself with a shake of her head. Of course Alice White still loved Alan. She’d pretty much been declaring it from the beginning. No one could say they ever heard her allege otherwise. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, Alice. Seriously.”
But Allice was listening, she was too lost in her own sorrow to have heard her and so proceeded on. “I love him so much it physically makes me sick to my stomach to be away from him, Zaiyia. I’m hurting all the damn time whether I’m alone at home or in the same damn building as him at school.” She tightened her blanket around her quivering form. “I despise seeing him in the hallways and yet at the same time I search for even a passing sight of the back of his head! And until I’m able to see him next, he haunts my every thought.”
“Well damn.” Zaiyia replied, not knowing what else to say. Alice’s pain was already pretty visible by her physical appearance alone, but hearing her voice that pain only amplified the severity of it. If Zaiyia was in an emotional state herself, she would shed her tears for her own bitter tale, but she was level headed. Yeah sure, she had her own dramatics. Being in love with a grown man while being an underaged girl wasn’t exactly a picnic at the park either. Perhaps if Heath was her age or vice versa it would be easier. Alice had it easy because her love was her age, but look at what travesty had befallen their love anyway!
“For the first time in my toxic life, I was loved unconditionally. Alan made me feel safe and adored me as if I was WORTH something. This was before we even slept together, he was a true gentleman. Even after we became intimate it didn’t change him, he treated me like a prized diamond.” Alice paused to turn her bloodshot eyes to Zaiyia. “You remember my home. You remember where I come from. Who my father is.”
Zaiyia wished she hadn’t known. Those deplorable conditions Alice and her little siblings lived in was unacceptable for any kid to live in. At the time, Zaiyia had been resentful and so her icy heart was completely shut off from feeling anything outside of her own feelings. She had tunnel vision on only speaking with Alice about THEIR situation, not her own. But that was then and this was now. Zaiyia gave Alice a nod. “Yes, I remember all too clearly.”
“That was my entire life. The trash, the smell, the abuse by the hands of my father...all of it was MY life. I never let it stop me or slow me down though. I fought everyday to live my life to the fullest and be the best person I could be despite the evil things my father said to me.” Alice detailed, averting her eyes again. “One day, this knight in shining armor came and saw only me out of all the other girls in school. He chose me, and loved ME for ME. My own father can’t do that! Alan truly is the best guy in the world because of that, you know? Nothing meant more to me than him...and then...all of a sudden he’s gone out of my life forever. All I wanna do now is fucking die so I can escape the memories of him.”
Zaiyia shook her head in response at first for she was still speechless. She didn’t want to hear those words ever come out of anyone’s mouth, and that included Alice. Despite how fickle their relationship had been and how much Zaiyia detested her existence before, she didn’t want Alice to ever take her life. She can’t really speak for Alice, but she wanted to believe she truly wouldn’t want that either. Death was final and couldn’t be taken back.
What Zaiyia wanted to say to Alice would have come out too critically. She would have sounded like an adult chiding her for wishing to die over enduring a broken heart any longer. Zaiyia had Alice where she wanted her by opening herself up to her. The last thing she wanted was to make the damaged girl regret her decision to convey herself, and so Zaiyia kept her mouth shut for a moment longer to allow Alice to weep in private. She had to do something, or say something that could help the girl. If she just let her walk away from their conversation in this state, would she ever see Alice White again or would this be the last time?
Like a lightbulb flicking on, a foolproof strategy came to her mind, and it was remarkable. Rising from her armchair, Zaiyia turned it to the left so it was facing Alice’s chair and plopped back into it. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees as she spoke to her in a low steady voice. “Listen here, Alice White. I have a deal for you, and trust me, you’re gonna want to take it so hear me out before you say no, okay?”
“O-Okay.” Alice sputtered, dabbing her face again with her damp hands. “What kind of deal are you talking about?”
“If you can SWEAR to me you will do everything in your power to help me stop these assholes bullying me…” Zaiyia began, holding a hand up to silence Alice when she opened her mouth to reprimand her for calling her friends ‘assholes.’ “I’ll help you get back together with Alan.”
Alice’s jaw dropped as she gaped at Zaiyia for a long time in reticence. Those words...this deal...she was having a hard time absorbing it in. “I...I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“You heard me.” Zaiyia answered but reiterated anyway. “I said I’d help you get your man back if you help me end this bullying crusade. What do you say? You in?”
“Are you being serious with me right now?” Alice demanded to know, surging forward in her own seat to stare at Zaiyia with owlish eyes. “You’ll help me get Alan back?”
“Fuck yeah! Imma make that shit my life’s mission if that’s what it takes, honey.” Zaiyia swore to her, straightening back up to place a hand over her heart. “I will stop at nothing to get you two back together again! But only if you help me first.”
Alice resisted against her sobs, but failed. She deteriorated back into tears as she toiled to speak through them. “B-But how can you accomplish s-something like that? He doesn’t want me anymore!”
“I have my ways.” Zaiyia assured her. “But like I said, you need to help me first if you want that fool back. So what’s it gonna be?”
It didn’t take a genius to figure this one out. Obviously time wasn’t working with Alan, and Alice wasn’t gonna approach her man to score him back so...who else to help her but Zaiyia? She was the one girl who took her man without actually doing anything to take her man! If she couldn’t win him back for her then who else could? Overcome with emotions that she couldn’t curb, Alice launched out of her chair to drape her arms around Zaiyia’s form. Sobbing against her chest, she ignored Zaiyia’s stiffened form as she applauded her. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, ZAIYIA! I’LL HELP YOU! I SWEAR IT! I’LL HELP YOU! YOU CAN TRUST ME!”
Clearly uncomfortable with the tear soaked girl crying against her chest, Zaiyia instructed herself not to jostle the blonde off of her. Unsure of what to do to wrap this embrace up, she was comforted when she heard the sound of someone else come to her rescue. Snapping her head in their direction, Ziayia’s enthusiastic eyes narrowed on a sniffling Chasity observing from the otherside of the sliding back door that had been cracked open. The red-head was wiping the tears on her own cheeks with a massive smile of pride on her face. That smile was for her. Rolling her eyes, Zaiyia snapped at her. “Get yourself together woman! I don’t need another chick crying on me so suck that shit back in or else.”
“I-I can’t help it, Zaiyia.” Chasity apologized with a watery giggle, her cheeks flushed pink. “I’m just so proud of you!”
Zaiyia already understood why she couldn’t. Hell, it was transcribed all across the poor girl’s face whenever the moonlight beacon from behind a traveling cloud. Alice was terrified of showing her face to Alan after he dumped her. She probably wished she could just move on with ease like he had, but unfortunately for her, she was the one suffering through the heartbreak from her first and only love every single day and night. As time continued to tick by, her pain didn’t seem to be letting up. She was still the same broken girl that Alan dumped like it was only five minutes ago. Zaiyia didn’t have to be a bystander to that appalling scene to know this. Frowning, she tentatively asked. “Alice, um, do you...do you still love Alan as much as you did before he broke up with you? Has it diminished since then?”
Releasing a wretched groan that answered the question for her, Alice lamented brokenly in her arm chair wrapped in her small blanket. “N-No, it hasn’t diminished, Zaiyia. Not even an i-inch.” Clawing her hands down her tear streaked face, she cried. “I-I still love him.”
“You do, don’t you...I guess that was a stupid question to ask.” Zaiyia muttered to herself with a shake of her head. Of course Alice White still loved Alan. She’d pretty much been declaring it from the beginning. No one could say they ever heard her allege otherwise. “I’m sorry you’re going through this, Alice. Seriously.”
But Allice was listening, she was too lost in her own sorrow to have heard her and so proceeded on. “I love him so much it physically makes me sick to my stomach to be away from him, Zaiyia. I’m hurting all the damn time whether I’m alone at home or in the same damn building as him at school.” She tightened her blanket around her quivering form. “I despise seeing him in the hallways and yet at the same time I search for even a passing sight of the back of his head! And until I’m able to see him next, he haunts my every thought.”
“Well damn.” Zaiyia replied, not knowing what else to say. Alice’s pain was already pretty visible by her physical appearance alone, but hearing her voice that pain only amplified the severity of it. If Zaiyia was in an emotional state herself, she would shed her tears for her own bitter tale, but she was level headed. Yeah sure, she had her own dramatics. Being in love with a grown man while being an underaged girl wasn’t exactly a picnic at the park either. Perhaps if Heath was her age or vice versa it would be easier. Alice had it easy because her love was her age, but look at what travesty had befallen their love anyway!
“For the first time in my toxic life, I was loved unconditionally. Alan made me feel safe and adored me as if I was WORTH something. This was before we even slept together, he was a true gentleman. Even after we became intimate it didn’t change him, he treated me like a prized diamond.” Alice paused to turn her bloodshot eyes to Zaiyia. “You remember my home. You remember where I come from. Who my father is.”
Zaiyia wished she hadn’t known. Those deplorable conditions Alice and her little siblings lived in was unacceptable for any kid to live in. At the time, Zaiyia had been resentful and so her icy heart was completely shut off from feeling anything outside of her own feelings. She had tunnel vision on only speaking with Alice about THEIR situation, not her own. But that was then and this was now. Zaiyia gave Alice a nod. “Yes, I remember all too clearly.”
“That was my entire life. The trash, the smell, the abuse by the hands of my father...all of it was MY life. I never let it stop me or slow me down though. I fought everyday to live my life to the fullest and be the best person I could be despite the evil things my father said to me.” Alice detailed, averting her eyes again. “One day, this knight in shining armor came and saw only me out of all the other girls in school. He chose me, and loved ME for ME. My own father can’t do that! Alan truly is the best guy in the world because of that, you know? Nothing meant more to me than him...and then...all of a sudden he’s gone out of my life forever. All I wanna do now is fucking die so I can escape the memories of him.”
Zaiyia shook her head in response at first for she was still speechless. She didn’t want to hear those words ever come out of anyone’s mouth, and that included Alice. Despite how fickle their relationship had been and how much Zaiyia detested her existence before, she didn’t want Alice to ever take her life. She can’t really speak for Alice, but she wanted to believe she truly wouldn’t want that either. Death was final and couldn’t be taken back.
What Zaiyia wanted to say to Alice would have come out too critically. She would have sounded like an adult chiding her for wishing to die over enduring a broken heart any longer. Zaiyia had Alice where she wanted her by opening herself up to her. The last thing she wanted was to make the damaged girl regret her decision to convey herself, and so Zaiyia kept her mouth shut for a moment longer to allow Alice to weep in private. She had to do something, or say something that could help the girl. If she just let her walk away from their conversation in this state, would she ever see Alice White again or would this be the last time?
Like a lightbulb flicking on, a foolproof strategy came to her mind, and it was remarkable. Rising from her armchair, Zaiyia turned it to the left so it was facing Alice’s chair and plopped back into it. Leaning forward, she rested her elbows on her knees as she spoke to her in a low steady voice. “Listen here, Alice White. I have a deal for you, and trust me, you’re gonna want to take it so hear me out before you say no, okay?”
“O-Okay.” Alice sputtered, dabbing her face again with her damp hands. “What kind of deal are you talking about?”
“If you can SWEAR to me you will do everything in your power to help me stop these assholes bullying me…” Zaiyia began, holding a hand up to silence Alice when she opened her mouth to reprimand her for calling her friends ‘assholes.’ “I’ll help you get back together with Alan.”
Alice’s jaw dropped as she gaped at Zaiyia for a long time in reticence. Those words...this deal...she was having a hard time absorbing it in. “I...I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“You heard me.” Zaiyia answered but reiterated anyway. “I said I’d help you get your man back if you help me end this bullying crusade. What do you say? You in?”
“Are you being serious with me right now?” Alice demanded to know, surging forward in her own seat to stare at Zaiyia with owlish eyes. “You’ll help me get Alan back?”
“Fuck yeah! Imma make that shit my life’s mission if that’s what it takes, honey.” Zaiyia swore to her, straightening back up to place a hand over her heart. “I will stop at nothing to get you two back together again! But only if you help me first.”
Alice resisted against her sobs, but failed. She deteriorated back into tears as she toiled to speak through them. “B-But how can you accomplish s-something like that? He doesn’t want me anymore!”
“I have my ways.” Zaiyia assured her. “But like I said, you need to help me first if you want that fool back. So what’s it gonna be?”
It didn’t take a genius to figure this one out. Obviously time wasn’t working with Alan, and Alice wasn’t gonna approach her man to score him back so...who else to help her but Zaiyia? She was the one girl who took her man without actually doing anything to take her man! If she couldn’t win him back for her then who else could? Overcome with emotions that she couldn’t curb, Alice launched out of her chair to drape her arms around Zaiyia’s form. Sobbing against her chest, she ignored Zaiyia’s stiffened form as she applauded her. “THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, ZAIYIA! I’LL HELP YOU! I SWEAR IT! I’LL HELP YOU! YOU CAN TRUST ME!”
Clearly uncomfortable with the tear soaked girl crying against her chest, Zaiyia instructed herself not to jostle the blonde off of her. Unsure of what to do to wrap this embrace up, she was comforted when she heard the sound of someone else come to her rescue. Snapping her head in their direction, Ziayia’s enthusiastic eyes narrowed on a sniffling Chasity observing from the otherside of the sliding back door that had been cracked open. The red-head was wiping the tears on her own cheeks with a massive smile of pride on her face. That smile was for her. Rolling her eyes, Zaiyia snapped at her. “Get yourself together woman! I don’t need another chick crying on me so suck that shit back in or else.”
“I-I can’t help it, Zaiyia.” Chasity apologized with a watery giggle, her cheeks flushed pink. “I’m just so proud of you!”