Belonging to Lust

Had Alan stolen her smile, Alice repeated Zaiyia’s question in her mind with an inner scoff?

Oh no, he managed to have abducted more than just her smile. But that was a depressing dark story Alice had no intention of going into depths on for anyone. Besides, she was trying to move on from those cold days and focus on the future and making it as bright and sunny as possible for herself.

“Alan…only stole my smile and happiness for a little bit.” Alice conceded to Zaiyia, Chastity and the McCoy sisters at the cafeteria table they sat together at for lunch. “But Alice White is back now and there’s nothing to worry about anymore.”

“That’s our girl!” Assata praised her in support. She loved to see a dead person returning to the land of the living again and reclaim their lives. It was a painful challenge not every broken individual could rise up to do on their own two feet, but when they finally did they deserved all the accolades for it. “Let this also be a lesson to never let anyone steal your shine EVER again, girl!”

“I already promised myself I wouldn’t.” Alice assured everyone with a triumphant smile. For the first time in a long time, she was excited for the future and what would come along on her journey through life.

“So…got any cute guys in mind that you can replace Alan’s ass with?” Aishah randomly asked her before she took a bite out of her hamburger.

“Cute guys?” Alice echoed dumbfoundedly, a frown on her face. “What cute guys?”

“Alice, please. Don’t play dumb.” Aishah said, not buying Alice’s wavering as genuine. “We all know the saying. The best way to get out from one motherfucker is to get right under another motherfucker.”

“It’s true!” Assata seconded with a confident nod as she wiped her hands on a napkin. “And there are plenty of good looking guys in this school from where I could see that are ripe for the picking.”

“C’mon girl, tell us already! You got a man in your sight yet or what?” Monnique inquired with an inquisitorial grin of interest. “Who is it?”

Shaking her head, Alice lowered her eyes to her now empty sandwich container. “No, I…no, I don’t have any. I haven't really been looking.”

Frowning at Alice’s response that she found to be very bizarre, Monnique leaned over to inquire softly. “Do you want some help with that?”

Once again, Alice shook her head as she busied herself with opening a back of Sour Cream and Onion Chips. “I’m…not sure if I wanna think about getting involved with someone else just yet. I have some things I need to work on first. Important things, you know?”

“Girl, you don’t have to explain yourself to us. It’s fine, we get it.” Zaiyia assured her with a genuine smile. “Take all the time you need. We’ll be here if you want any help.”

“Thanks.” Alice told them, though her blue eyes were on Zaiyia. Concentrating on her lunch, her mind began to wander on the possibility of moving on with Alan and meeting someone else one day. It wasn’t something she would have ever foreseen herself doing back in the day. She and Alan were always supposed to be together forever. They talked about, hell, had even planned for it! Things were different now though. Not because of her doings, but because of Alan. If he would move onto someone else so easily, then so could she. Starting first with saving her family.

Lifting her eyes to Zaiyia, Alice inquired. “Zaiyia, will you be home after school today?”

“I definitely should be.” Zaiyia confirmed with a nod. Knowing exactly where this was going, she threw out a welcoming invitation to Alice anyway. “So you’re welcome to pop in any time you want.”

Alice felt the worry she’d been hauling on her shoulders finally deflated. She’d been lugging that weight ever since she and Zaiyia spoke last on the phone. “Thank you, I will.”

Interested in their mysterious after school plans, Chastity inserted herself. “Ooo, what do you guys have planned after school today? A movie or something?”

“No, I was hoping to come over and discuss with Mr. Sullivan about my father’s abuse and getting him arrested so my siblings and I can have a better life and a safe home without him.” Alice blurted out, shocking Zaiyia by how straightforward she was on the subject. In truth, she shocked herself with that disclosure too. She hadn’t even told her closest friends about it and here she was dropping bombs like this out of nowhere among friends that she wasn’t as close with.

The table was dead quiet. Every one of them was struck speechless. Except for Chasity, the others at the table had been around abuse if not abused themselves, so articulating it among others wasn’t all that distressing. But for someone like Alice who excretes the type of person to sweep those allegations under the rug to pretend it never happened, and feign offense at being questioned upon it…she was a different story entirely. No one expected her to drop the ball that effortlessly and so it took them a moment to come around to what she said.

Chastity’s eyes darted from Zaiyia to Alice. She desperately wanted to blurt out something but instead bit down on her lower lip. Unsure if it was rude to transmit, she dissected her question first before releasing it out her mouth. Leaning over, she whispered tentatively. “Um, not to be rude towards Mr. Sullivan, but…wouldn’t you rather speak to my father instead since he’s already in law enforcement?”

Alice shook her head, leaning back in her chair as if to sidestep going into that conversation. “N-No, I don’t really want to talk to the police just yet. I’m too…scared to do that right now. I figured talking to them would help ease some of those fears.”

“I hope it does, because I think Chasity is right.” Zaiyia spoke up, nodding to the daughter of an FBI Agent. “The faster you can explain everything to the police, the faster your problems will go away.”

“Yeah, I know.” Alice sighed in frustration with herself for being such a scaredy cat. With both hands, she combed them through her long blond hair to simply do something with her hands.

“It’s alright, Alice. I’ll keep my phone close to me just in case you change your mind, okay?” Chastity offered her as she put her ringer on her phone so she’d be alerted as soon as possible.

Touched by Chasity’s kindness, Alice thanked her. “Wow, thank you so much for that, Chastity.”

“You okay, girl?” Monnique inquired, looking deeply into the Alice’s blue eyes all the way to the pain.

Taking a deep breath, Alice expressed herself with honesty. “I’m trying to be. I’m trying my very best to BE okay and not just appear so. It’s hard when I don’t want to be separated from my brother and sister.”

“You won’t be separated from them.” Chastity swore to her, reaching out to set a comforting hand on Alice’s shoulder. “My father won’t let that happen. When he was younger, he was up for adoption too.”

“Say what?” Zaiyia said, voicing the other’s thoughts too. They had no idea Chasity’s dad was adopted.

“Really?” Alice whispered, her eyes going wide with wonder. “What happened to him?”

“Grandma was neglectful drunk and grandpa ran off with some junkie he fell in love with.” Chasity told the highly intrigued girls at the table listening in. “Dad and his two siblings were put in foster care. My youngest Uncle was selected by a couple, but he didn’t want to leave his brothers behind, and so they all got adopted. That’s actually why my dad wanted to become a cop in the first place. He wanted to be like his adopted father and help other kids like him.”

“Aww, that’s so cute.” Monnique cooed along with her sisters. They were touched by the moving story.

“I can only hope I’m just as lucky as your dad.” Alice said with a dubious smile on her face.

“You will be. We’ll make sure of it.” Zaiyia vowed to Alice right before she felt a pair of eyes burning into the back of her skull. Glancing over her shoulder, her brown eyes connected to Alan himself. The anxious boy was watching her like he wanted to race over and kidnap her as his knee bounced under the table. Inwardly, Zaiya sighed to herself. Even from the distance between them, she could feel him reaching out for her through his frantic eyes. He was on the hunt for her and would end up cornering her soon.