Belonging to Lust

Chapter 46: I Need Time

Stirring, Heath let out a deep satisfied sigh and turned his head slightly to the side, refusing to want to wake up due to the crowd of singing birds outside his window. Letting out a groan of irritation because of their annoying chirping, he turned his body over so that he was lying on his side before finally accepting that he wide awake and wouldn’t be going back to sleep. The first thing he saw, however, when his eyes fluttered open was something that had single handedly destroyed his very life and everything he built.

Heath lifted his head and shook it to try and get himself to wake up from his dream so that he could get started on his day, but he soon realized that he wasn’t dreaming. Lying on her side, facing him, was a naked 16 year old Zaiyia Hallifax barely covered in her own blanket that he had abandoned sometime in the night. The sunlight pouring through the window could only reach her side of the bed, and so she illuminated. To him, she looked like a deeply colored gemstone statue that shimmered in gold whenever it was hit with sunlight. The blanket teasingly covered her breasts and most of her naked front from his eyes, but her bare back was still exposed to the warmth of the sun. Her braids spilled over her pillow and seemed to almost reach out towards him, inviting him to come closer to her. The sight was absolutely a mesmerizing picture to see and was making Heath’s heart race with need to reach out and trail his fingers over her bare-naked hip, but Heath’s mind was defiantly reeling in determination to keep himself in line. To further help confirm that he wasn’t still asleep, he squeezed his eyes shut for a few short moments before slowly opening them back up to still see her naked body next to him.

Carefully sitting up without waking her, Heath turned to swing his feet off the bed and onto the cold hardwood floor, his bare-naked back facing her as he leaned down to bury his face in his hands in guilt. He couldn’t believe it, he couldn’t believe that he had done what he had fought so hard not to do for so long. Zaiyia had finally beaten him down to the point of no return, causing him to blindly make the mistake of giving in to the temptation that was his obsessive need to touch her skin, taste her lips, and lick her dark nipples…and now he was officially labelled a pedophile. Sliding his hands up, Heath ran his fingers through his bedhead hair before covering his face again, letting out a deep heavy burdened sigh. His mind scattered over his memories trying locate the ones pertaining to last night’s events so he could recall what exactly happened, and how he woke up beside her. The scene that began to play itself out like a film behind his eyes turned out to be the wrong one, and was actually…a second time!?

Heath pulled his hands away from his face to gawk around the room in shock. He didn’t remember a second time, and yet there it was, playing right before him. Exhausted, He had gotten up in the night to locate his pants where a condom sat snug in his wallet. He was already sporting an erection, and had put the rubber on with his eyes closed the entire time. Stumbling back to bed, he scooted closer to a sleeping naked Zaiyia until he was pressed up against her, spooning. Reaching around her, he had sought out her clit and began to rub her to make her wet again for him. Zaiyia woke up a little but was clearly too drowsy to figure out what was going on. She allowed her moans to spill from her lips as his fingers rubbed her body back to life and had her soaking for him. Heath didn’t waste any time and lifted her leg up so he could guide himself into her. Zaiyia’s first orgasm came in that instant, but that didn’t stop him from thrusting himself into her at a slow and lazy pace. Wrapping one arm around her neck, and the other around her torso, Heath buried his face in her hair and jerked his hips back and forth. Zaiyia threw her leg back over his hip, not being able to hold it up in the air by herself, and tightly gripped onto his arm in desperation before burying her face in her own pillow. No words were said, just moans, groans and cries of pleasure that penetrated their worlds, both dream and reality.

Cursing, Heath closed his eyes and dropped his head back into his hands with a groan. He couldn’t believe himself for wanting to say it out loud, but it was impossible to deny that Zaiyia was the best lay he’d ever experienced in his life. She outdid every woman he ever slept with, including her mother who was originally the best lay he ever had! As amazing as she made him feel, as happy as he was on Cloud 9 when he was inside her, it was still wrong to have allow it to happen, no matter how right it felt. Heath knew he couldn’t change what happened last night no matter how much he should want to, and that he had to focus on NOW to prevent this from ever happening again. He had to….he had to…

Letting out a growl, Heath ran his hands back up to grip onto his hair in frustration. He had no idea what he was supposed to do next. Sitting back up with another burdened sigh, Heath looked over his shoulder at the naked 16 year old that he thought would still be asleep but had actually been watching him that entire time. He jumped a bit in surprise, his eyes widening down at her. He wasn’t ready for this, he wasn’t ready to face her just yet. He was hoping to have a plan set on what to do before she woke up, but alas luck was not on his side. The couple stared at each other before Zaiyia’s lips parted and her melodic voice graced his ears. “What are you thinking?”

Zaiyia already knew what was going through his mind at the moment, and Heath knew that. Taking a moment to prepare himself on causing her soon-to-be discomfort, he opened his mouth. “I…I think you already know what I’m thinking of.”

Failing to mask the hurt on her face, Zaiyia quickly turned around and got off the bed in search for her robe. Heath forced his head to snap back forward to avoid gaping at her enticingly naked body. The last thing he wanted was to be pulled back in again for Round 2…or Round 3, in this case. Heath kept his eyes on the wall across from him even when he felt the mattress dip next to him, a newly robed Zaiyia now sitting at his side. Neither of them look at each other, instead they both stare at the same wall across from them in a dragging silence filled with tension. The first one to finally break it was Zaiyia after she turned herself on the bed so that she was facing him. “Heath…don’t regret this, please. Don’t regret what happened here last night between us.”

Heath’s jaw hardened as he stubbornly fought to remain true to his word and behave himself. “You’re only 16 years old, Zaiyia.”

Zaiyia sighed and rolled her eyes, hating that he kept holding that above their relationship for obviously good reasons. “Oh my god, I’m well aware of that.”

Shaking his head, Heath lowered his head down a bit as his eyes dropped to the hardwood floor beneath his feet. “This…” He hesitated before continuing on. “It’s wrong what we did, Zaiyia. THIS is all wrong.”

“Why do you have to see it like that? Why do you have to see it as such a negative thing? Why can’t you see it for what it was to US!? To what it truly is!” Zaiyia argued in desperation, feeling tears spring in the corner of her eyes as she fought for her love for him.

Heath finally turned his head to look down at her, anger deep in his eyes, and laced within his voice. “Because it doesn’t matter what the hell it was for us! Damnit Zaiyia, don’t you get it yet? The point I keep trying to make is that what we did here in this bed.” He pointed a stern finger at the rustle sheets behind them where secretly hidden beneath them was a small blood stain that was Zaiyia’s virginity. “Is against the law, and right now, I’m considered to be a fucking pedophile.”

Zaiyia didn’t like him slapping that label on himself. Clearly offended, she was determined to tell him otherwise and defend him herself if she had to. “Don’t call yourself that! That is not what you are!” Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, she turned the subject back to before to hopefully prove her point. “Did what we did feel wrong to you, huh? Did having sex with me feel wrong at any point last night?”

Looking back at the wall again, Heath had to bite his tongue to keep himself from praising what they did and rejoicing at how incredible it was for him. Hesitating a moment longer that he should have, he eventually forced himself to see the reality of it all, and what the law clearly states. “It doesn’t matter what I feel about it, the law is the law.”

Pissed off again, Zaiyia shook her head in denial. “No no no, that is not what I’m asking you, Heath, and you know it! Please, just…” Her voiced lowered into a soft pleading tone. “…just be honest with me, just this once, please!”

Heath let out a groan as he felt his walls crumbling, and his tongue beginning to wag away. “It should have felt wrong, okay!?” He let out a defeated sigh and closed his eyes. “It should have felt…wrong.”

“Did. It. Feel. Wrong?” Zaiyia asked him more quietly, knowing this time she’d get her answer.
Rubbing his hands over his face, Heath let out a weary sigh before dropping them back down onto his lap. He turned his head to look her in the eyes as he confessed the truth. “No, it didn’t feel wrong. Not a second of it. It all felt…right.”

Zaiyia couldn’t help but give him a smile that instantly warmed his heart, and reach out to wrap her arms around one of his own. Leaning down, she pressed a couple innocent kisses of appreciation along the rippling muscles of his bicep. When she was done she leans her forehead against them and softly asked him. “Can’t we just focus on that mutual agreement instead of all the negatives that surround it?”

Heath frowned down at her in disagreement, but couldn’t bring himself to pull his arm away from her soft hold. “What do you mean by that? What else is more important for us to focus on other than the fact that what we did was wrong?”

Zaiyia looked up at him and placed a gentle hand on his stubble cheek to help calm his rising anger down. She could hear the panic in his voice, and didn’t like it one bit. It tore at her heart because what they had was something to celebrate about, not fear over it. “No, Heath, there’s more to it than that. Just focus on the fact that I still want you. I want this…” She gestures towards the bed with her head, her eyes warming at the sight of the rumpled sheet before returning to his. “…to happen again, and again. Don’t throw it all away just because of our age. I may be physically a 16 year old girl, but mentally I’m a little older than that, and I know you know that.”

Heath couldn’t disagree with that last part. Zaiyia was more mature than most 16 years old that lived in his cul-de-sac, but that didn’t matter in the eyes of the law. Age is what counted, which still made Zaiyia was 16 years old in their minds. Letting out a sigh, Heath pulled his arms away from her to lean over and covered his face again in shame. “I…I need some time to think. I need time…”

Not having a choice in the matter, and having done all that she could do, Zaiyia gave him a reluctant nod and scooted away from him. Deciding to give him some much needed space, she decided on taking a shower while he figured out what he was going to do. Getting up from her bed, she cast one last heartbreaking glance at him before walking into her bathroom and closing the door behind her. She hoped that the next time she walked through that door, Heath would be walking towards her, and not away from her.