Belonging to Lust

Later on that day, Zaiyia decided to spend her lunch outside on the bleachers by herself. She was still feeling overwhelmed after her discussion with Chasity and just needed some time by herself to work through it. Unfortunately, working through it almost brought her close to tears, and so she was forced to mentally step back, take a deep breath, and think everything over slowly.

She was mentally and physically tired of her life as a whole. She was so stressed by it all she just wanted to sink to the floor and let the ground open up and take her away forever. The fighting and bullying was, oddly enough, both a curse and a gift at the same time. It was the only thing that seemed to take her mind off of Heath these days and her drama with him which was a huge weigh lifted off her shoulder, but at the same time it also added weight to replace that one. She had to walk the halls with all her senses sharpened and with eyes on the back of her head, so no one would get the jump on her without her knowledge.

And then there was Heath…that beautiful sexy epitome of a true man was weakening her in ways she’s never been. So much of her felt open and exposed, vulnerable to danger, and she didn’t know what to do about it. She couldn’t seem to protect herself when it came to him, and she knew the reason why. She was in love with him, as much as a woman can be in love with a man. Yes, she was only 16 years old and honestly, she would probably agree that because she was only 16 years old she’s too young to know about love and what it truly felt like. But the feelings she had for Heath were real, and true, and so damn potent she could feel it coursing through her blood as a daily reminder of what she couldn’t ever obtain.

Every day she woke up in pain knowing that the man she foolishly lost her heart to would never accept it and would forever keep throwing it back into her face instead. For the first time in her life she’d give everything to have her unreliable irresponsible mother, Yovela, come sweep in and take her away from this town, and from Heath. Of course, Zaiyia knew that wouldn’t happen. Her mother literally had the worst timing, and so she wouldn’t show up just yet when there’s nothing really going on in her life.

“Hey, beautiful!” A familiar voice called to her from below the bleachers. Zaiyia wiped the tears she allowed to sit on her cheeks and peered down to see Alan had found her and was currently climbing up the bleachers to her. He plopped down right next to her without permission and lets out a peaceful sigh, unbeknownst to her current sadness. “What are you doing out here, huh? Lunch is inside, you know.”

“Yeah, I know.” Zaiyia replied, feigning a smile at his light joke. She knew he meant well but still…he wasn’t no Heath Sullivan, and that was a clear as the blue sky beneath the grey clouds above them. “I just came out for some fresh air is all. That cafeteria can get pretty stuffy sometimes.”

Alan nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I agree with you there. We just gotta wait for the weather to get warmer and then the staff usually opens up the windows in there so we all don’t suffer a heat stroke.”

The two slipped into a long silence that Zaiyia welcomed with open arms, but Alan wanted to desperately fill. An idea thankfully sprung into his mind and caused him to turn in his seat to face her with a grin stretched with excitement. “Oh man, did you hear about the party going on this Friday night?”

Zaiyia glanced at him shortly before staring off onto the empty track field where not too long ago she knocked his ex-girlfriend around. “No, I haven’t.”

“Oh, well, there’s gonna be this party on Friday night at this guy’s house.” Alan explained in better detail but that still didn’t heighten her interest.

“Okay.” Zaiyia answered back, not knowing what else he wanted her to say about that. She shivered when an unexpected chilly breeze came by out of nowhere.

Alan took note of this and shrugged his warm jersey jacket off to offer it to her. “Here, I can tell you’re cold out here.”

Zaiyia took the jacket and put it on without a second’s thought as to what that simple action might mean to him. “Thanks.”

Alan was beyond elated. He smiled to himself in victory at the fact that she was wearing his jacket which to him meant that she was allowing him to lay his claims. It was HIS jacket after all, and everyone knew he was clearly interested her, and now he’s got her wearing HIS jacket in public which meant she was accepting a position at HIS side as HIS woman. Boldly, he reached out his arm and draped it over possessively her shoulder with that egoistical smile still on his face. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the party with me.”

Zaiyia slowly turned her head to glare at the assertive hand dangling off her shoulder. Okay, this hand is clearly not Heath’s so why the hell is it touching me, she wondered to herself before remembering that Heath would never put his hand on her like this. Ignoring his hand then in defeat, she slowly turned her eyes to his after making sure she had softened them up so she wouldn’t appear as if she was glaring at him. “Depends, what kind of party are we talking about here?”

“What kind of party?” Alan repeated her question to himself in the form of a question. He looked up and tried to recall the last time he went a party at this very house. “Um, I would probably say it’s the traditional high school kind of party.”

“Are we talking drugs? Alcohol? Date rape? First time drunk homosexual experiences? Fights? Sex?” Zaiyia clarified, wanting to know the ins and outs of what she would be walking into.

“Hmm.” Alan thought again. “Naturally, there’s gonna be alcohol…I know weed will be there, but I’m not sure about any other drugs.” He shrugs to himself. “I don’t know anything about the whole date rape thing…”

“Does date raping occur a lot in that place?” Zaiyia questioned, needing to know if she needed to bring a couple of hidden weapons to defend herself with her. She’s almost made the mistake of not bringing one before and that ended up a traumatic mess…on their part.

“Not that I’m aware of.” Alan answered her honestly. “But there are one or two fights every now and then, and…”

“And?” Zaiyia drawled, noticing that he trailed off. “What else?”

“There is…sex.” Alan mentioned in a low voice, his eyes on the track below the bleachers. His hand that was dangling off her shoulder suddenly gripped her arm.

Zaiyia’s face scrunched up in disgust at the possessive way he was holding onto her like that. “I see.” Reaching up, she pushed his hand off of her shoulder along with his arm and gave him a friendly nod. “Sure, I’ll go with you.”

Alan merely smiled in amusement at her rejection of his arm. In his eyes he saw that as her desire to continue on playing hard to get despite the fact that she’s wearing his jacket proudly. “Cool.” He lifted his head to look out at the school building before glancing back at her. “Ready to eat lunch yet?”

Zaiyia sighed to herself as she looked out over the school. Some kids her age would say school was as close to hell on earth as they could get, but for her there were two types of hells, one at school and the other at home. Either way her day goes, she’s permanently stuck in hell. “I guess.”

With Alan by her side, the two of them headed towards the school building and entered the cafeteria. Zaiyia knew that by publicly walking into school in front of all these people with not only with Alan by her side but his jacket on her would be asking for a damn fight to occur right then and there. If she wasn’t in war with her haters before all this, then she was starting one today. But alas, Zaiyia didn’t care about the risks and walked into that building with Alan, ignoring the many stares they attained. Of course, no one dare to say anything to them, but their glares were enough. Getting revenge on Zaiyia was probably on every girl’s mind that they strolled past, but the only thing on hers was the heartbreak she’d suffer later on today when she got home to Heath again.

While she dreaded that moment, Alan was kind enough to fetch them lunch and soon returned with two full trays. He sat across from her at their lunch table and started up a conversation with Zaiyia that she didn’t care to listen to. Her mind kept wandering to Heath, and how it felt to have him filling her body up. It felt like it’s been years since they last came together like that…and now she could hardly remember how it felt. The idea that she might have forgotten completely almost brought her close to tears.

“…I mean can you believe that?” Alan laughed before stuffing his chicken sandwich in his mouth.

“No…I can’t.” Zaiyia replied in a distant voice as her eyes filled with unshed tears.