Belonging to Lust

Chapter 90: Blame Your Goddamn Self

It took Heath a long deep breath to help rein back some his resurfacing animosity over Zaiyia sneaking out of the house while he was working late in the city and venturing off to go god knows where. He couldn’t allow himself to go back to yelling at her again like when she crept back into his house in the dead of night. When he had he made her breakdown and cry in such a strong passionate way it made him feel guilty for losing his temper at her though it was warranted. Despite feeling remorseful about setting her tears off, Heath had a strange feeling she wasn’t crying because she just got caught breaking the rules. No, Zaiyia Halifax was stronger than that and had in the past would yell right back at him with no problems. But right now she was cradled in his comforting arms while they sat on the floor in his living room in a calmer mood than before, and so Heath decided to take this opportunity to interrogate. “What, uh…what party did you sneak off to tonight?”

His massive frame and thick bulging arms felt hot wrapped around her body, and Zaiyia was positive that it had to do with his rage still festering within him. She appreciated that he was trying to keep himself collected while he continued to delve into the mystery as to where she went because if he hadn’t it would just make it harder for her to tell the truth. She nuzzled her face against his chest savoring its strength and warmth and hoping it would seep into her so she could feel alive again. “At some mansion this guy’s parents own. Alan knew him.”

At the mention of Alan’s name, Heath’s entire body recoiled against her. My god, he was gonna need more time to calm himself back down again. That little bastard Alan that had started this all took his Zaiyia out to some mansion party without his permission? If Heath could wish for anything right now, it would be to be a teenager for two reason. The first reason so he could legally beat the hell out of Alan and make him pay for ever hearing his Zaiyia’s name. The second reason was more for his own selfish reason, and that was to be able to touch and kiss his Zaiyia to his heart's content without worrying about the law. But of course, a wish like that was impossible to conjure up, so Heath would have to deal with being a 34-year-old man infatuated with a 16 year old girl.

Still what was bothering him was her emotional outburst. It was overwhelming for him to see and made him tensed with concern as to what ailed her. When he tried to comfort her all she could do was blame him for all the decisions she’d made in the past, a lot of them he had no idea about. He wasn’t the reason she started crying. His yelling didn’t make her cry, so why had she broken down? With a frown stuck on his face, Heath lifted his head to look down at her. “Zaiyia…why were you crying like that? I already know it wasn’t me catching you sneaking back into the house, so what was it? Did…did something happen earlier tonight?”

“Alan, he…he kissed me.” Zaiyia admitted with ease, his warmth soothing her frazzled mind and lowering her eyelids shut. She felt so comfortable and safe from any form of harm that could be out there looking for her. Hell, he could ask her for the cure for cancer right now, and she’d give him that easily…that is if she knew how to cure such a critical disease.

Unfortunately, just as comfy as she was, she felt his warmth turned to a burning heat fed by his bursting hatred. She went from cozy to burning to death in what felt like a couple of seconds. Before she could react, he grabbed a hold of her shoulder and pulled her off of him, so he could look her right in the face.

“Wait a minute!” Heath’s green eyes were blazing emerald fire as they peered down at her, his hands holding her prisoner in his firm grip as he gave a small shake to chase away anything that could be clouding her brain from answering his question. “HE KISSED YOU!?”

Okay, so maybe admitting that wasn’t a good idea, she thought to herself as her wide brown eyes were held captured by his green ones. It was too late to think of a lie now, and even if she could he’d see right through it. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was waiting for her to configure up a lie to feed to him. “Um y-yeah? We both had been drinking but…somewhere along the way he got really smashed and…kissed me.”

This time, Heath’s anger couldn’t be extinguished, instead it spread like a forest fire. Letting her go, and jumping to his feet, he strode away from her in fear he’d accidentally hurt her in the process of imploding. He walked around the room for moment in hopes that and taking deep breaths would help shake his fury but that too wouldn’t work. Fed up with being eaten with rage, he reached out to grab a hold of the decorate lamp from his sister that was their only form of light at the moment and hurled it across the room. “SONOFABITCH!”

Zaiyia saw pitch black before she heard a loud shattering crash that had her letting out a short scream and jumping up to her own feet. She stumbled back against the nearest wall, her hands blindly feeling around for anything in her way. Her heart was pounding with fear as she shouted at him in the darkness. “WHAT THE FUCK, HEATH! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THROWING SHIT!?”

Heath’s eyes had easily adjusted to the dark as he spun around to stride over to her. He stopped when he was almost pressed up against her, his tall frame shrinking hers immensely. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET THAT LITTLE SHIT KISS YOU!? AFTER ALL HE’S DONE TO YOU? REALLY?! ARE YOU THAT FUCKING EASY FOR A MAN TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS TOO, JUST BY GIVING YOU ALCOHOL?!”

“FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE! I AIN’T NO FUCKING HOE!” Zaiyia spat, her despair now being replaced by her own rage at being called an easy lay by the man she loved above everyone else. She reached out to push him back with her hands on his hard wall of a chest, but the man didn’t budge. “WE WERE FUCKING DRINKING AND HE FUCKING KISSED ME, OKAY? IT WAS THE FUCKING ALCOHOL THAT GAVE HIM THE BALLS TO DO IT CAUSE TRUST HIS WEAK SOBER ASS WOULDN’T DARE!”

“BULLSHIT!” Heath spat before striding away to pace the room again. He ran his hands through his short hair in frustration while he burned a trail through his living room. How did she do this to him all the time? How did she make him, a grown man, switch into a jealous teenager all over again? It wasn’t like him to react this way during an argument. Hell, he never threw a lamp against the wall when her mother, Yovela, gave him a hard time by disappearing on him. But just the thought of that little bastard Alan kissing his Zaiyia was enough to make him want to hop in his trunk and hunt the little brat down with a shotgun.

“We didn’t fucking do anything, Heath!” Zaiyia tried to reason calmly though somewhere deep inside she knew she needed this. She needed to fight with his man like her life depended on it, and she had no idea why. “Okay?”

“Right, okay, you didn’t fucking do anything.” Heath sarcastically repeated to himself with a smile of disbelief on his face. He shook his head in denial as he continued to pace, wondering why he was being a petty about all this. This isn’t how he argued with women, so why was he behaving this way with Zaiyia? Was it because she was teenager, so it compelled him to argument at her same age level? That didn’t make sense. He didn’t argue with his little brother and sister like this when he was raising them so why again was he doing it with Zaiyia?

“WE DIDN’T!” Zaiyia shriek in frustration, her hands fists at her side. She wished he was smaller and helpless, so she could beat the hell out of him without getting tossed out the front bay windows to her death. The man was so stubborn and refused to listen to anything she said!

“THAT’S A LOAD OF SHIT, AND YOU KNOW IT!” Heath spun around and roared back at her. “I BET YOU GET ALL HOT UNDER HIS HANDS TOO, DON’T YOU!?”

Well, damn. Zaiyia no longer needed him to be smaller and helpless to kick his behind. No, she was gonna take the risk on her life and beat the hell out of him right now. Taking off in a run towards him, she launched herself up on him at the last minute and held on tight with her legs around his hips while her fists came raining down on him. “YOU DUMBASS HARDHEADED ASS PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!”

Heath was genuinely taken by surprise when she launched herself on him and began to attack him. He hadn’t expected her to try and beat him when she was so tiny and weak compared to him, and yet she felt pushed to do so.

“YOU BASTARD, I FUCKING HATE YOUR EVIL HATEFUL ASS!” Zaiyia screamed down at him as her hands bounced off his shoulders and chest. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT, NOT MINE, SO BLAME YOUR GODDAMN SELF!”

Grabbing a hold of one dainty wrist and then the other, Heath peeled her off of his body and backed her up against the same wall she came at him from. He used his body to pin her there as he asked her. “How the hell is any of this bullshit my damn fault?!”

“IF YOU HADN’T KEPT RUNNING AWAY FROM ME ALL THE DAMN TIME I WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN OUT HERE LOOKING ELSEWHERE FOR ATTENTION!” Zaiyia shouted up at him, her furious brown eyes filling with tears with every world.

Heath was struck speechless, his large frame stilling against hers as his green eyes stare down at her.


Now, Heath would have been highly offended when she called him a ‘pussy’ but that no longer matter when she broke back down into sobs again. Letting out a sigh of remorse, he pulled her back into his arms again as she sagged against him, her body wracked with tears. Her shaking was making his throat feel all tight with emotions too and so he hauled her up against him to bury his face in the crook of her neck. He let her limp body cry itself out before eventually confessing. “I…I can’t stop thinking about you either, baby. No matter how hard I try you’re always on my mind.”

As if that was all she wanted to hear, her arms snake around his neck and she clings to him desperately. “Don’t let me go…p-please, Heath. Don’t let me go tonight.”

Heath didn’t plan to as he turned with her in his arms and carry her down the hallway that led into his bedroom where he hoped they’d fall asleep in each other’s arm.