Round in Circles

The farthest back Jack can remember was Zachary, who had pale skin and a soft demeanor. His smile reminded Jack of the glittering rocks humans found precious and Jack thought humans should look at the boy in front of him to realize what was truly precious. When Apollo came by and told Zachary of the earthen plane’s peril, Jack asked him to stay. (Because heroes can’t find the island twice.)

The moment Jack remembers very clearly to this day was how cruelly beautiful Zachary was with sparkling tears running down his face as he swore he’d return. (Jack also remembers how centuries blurred together as he spent them on the shore hoping that the shine on the water was Zachary’s smile.)

The heroes that came after Zachary fell in love with the heartbroken boy on the beach and the boy too fell in love with them, but their absences never cut as deeply as the first until Rian came along.

Jack was slowly accepting that his heroes would never come back when Rian arrived. Engulfed in fire as he fell from the sky, it would take a week of Jack fussing over the man that landed harshly on the sand for the man to awaken.

When Rian woke up he marveled at the glistening crystals and thought he might have been in Elysium until he saw a man with sad eyes smiling over him. He was beautiful, Rian would soon realize, in the way that he danced erratically with the trees and grinned excitedly when Rian would join him.

Rian knew he should leave, especially with his nation in danger, but he couldn’t find it in himself to abandon the lanky titan-spawn with the smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

One day, they’re making flower crowns when Rian is offhandedly telling a story of the first time his commanders gave him drink that he sees Jack laughing with such pure joy. Rian knows he can leave the boy now, even if the sadness might come back.

Jack is not quite surprised that Rian decides to leave and Rian notes that the smile Jack uses to see him off is weary and used. Rian yells at Jack that he’ll definitely come back to him. Jack nods but finds himself already crying at the loss of the not-lover he found in Rian. (The moment Rian completes his duty, he enters the navy and creates a awe-inspiring fleet that would be recorded in legends of the future. The legends never say that the fleet was built to try to put the happiness into a broken man’s eyes. (They never say because it never succeeded.))

Holly is a goddess in gold when she’s swept into Jack’s beach by a strange wave. Jack was reminded of Aphrodite, the way she sang and loved at times and was angry and jealous at others. Jack devoted himself to her, for she promised to stay. (And to stay was all Jack asked of his heroes.)

For a time, Jack believed her as decades flew by. But she tired of his limited capabilities and Jack simply woke up one day with a closet empty of the dresses he made for her and missing gems on the wall of his cave. He spent years tearing everything that reminded him of her from the walls. (It was the first time he ever felt a different kind of sadness at a hero leaving.)

Between the years, Jack would remember the heroes that came and left. Some clear as the water on his beach. He’s not sure what he wanted to hate more, the Fates’ cruel curse or the heroes’ sense of duty that always ended with his heart in pieces. (Of course, the sense of duty that made most of them leave was what drew him to them in the first place. Maybe he should hate himself.)

The next one he remembers is Cassidy with a fiery personality and a big metal box she insists is the most gorgeous thing to exist. (Jack thinks her passion is even more gorgeous, but to each their own.) They spend weeks working on the box with Jack forging metal and Cassidy fitting them together. As the box roared to life and Cassidy laughing at Jack’s terror, Jack thought that maybe Cassidy should have been born a few centuries earlier because she felt like she’d fit with Rian like a puzzle piece. (She leaves in the echoes of pealing laughter and its the first time Jack is purely happy at a hero leaving.)

Alex comes with a lilt in his voice that’s not quite what Jack presumes is “American” and not quite “British.” He sings melodies with a voice like an angel and Jack spends most of his time insisting that Alex sing. Jack knows that Alex is definitely someone he’ll remember when Zeus comes by with grave news of the war on the human world and Alex only replies with “Oh, fuck off, you cheating, war-causing asshole.”

Alex ends up leaving and sings him a goodbye and an “I’ll be back for you, so don’t you dare find someone else.”

Jack remembers his past heroes and smiles, not believing him as he tries very hard to imprint the sound of Alex’s voice in his memory.

Jack cries when he wakes up one day with Alex singing in his ear and, in a few moments, against his mouth.

Jack leaves with tears on his face, a smile full of joy and a handful of flowers and memories.

(Heroes never stayed, but Jack found one that came back.)