That Moment
That Moment: When you screw it all up.
As I stood in the kitchen of my little town home stirring together a dessert I was making for a friend’s birthday party my doorbell rang. I jogged a few steps and threw open the door with a big smile expecting to see that friend and there stood Leland Chapman.
I shook my head, shocked to see him standing there in my doorway.
“Reece.” he says, almost surprised to see me.
“Wh...what are you doing here?” I ask, letting him into my home.
He throws his arms around me, “I’ve been looking for you for the past three months Reece. I am so glad I finally found you!” he says.
I was in disbelief, “How did you find my house?”
“Bounty Hunter.” he says with an innocent smile.
“Come in...Have a seat.” I say, motioning to my couch.
As we sat across from each other, I noticed how different he looked since the last time I’d seen him. Not physically but emotionally different. He seemed happy. Maybe he’d gotten back together with that Ex he couldn’t seem to let go.
I watched as he sat there, taking the sight of me in; my once long, wavy hair now cut off in a cute bouncy bob. I’d always heard that a girl who cut her hair was about to change her life and that’s what I did.
“Reece…” he says, reaching out to take my hand.
“No, Leland you don’t get to come here and start that shit again. You broke my heart!”
“Please listen for a minute and after I say what I need to say you can kick me out.”
“Fine.” I say in agreement.
He clears his throat and nervously runs a hand through his hair. “I know that I hurt you that night when I didn’t come to your room. I had gotten a phone call from my Ex-girlfriend and she just kept telling me how sorry I was and that I didn’t deserve to have anyone and I started to believe it was true.”
“Leland..” I started to interrupt him but stopped as he held his hand up in protest.
“Please let me finish… I knew from the moment we met that you were going to be part of my life, that in some way you would be with me forever, for good or bad. When I open my eyes every morning I pray that you might be there beside me, and that this is a just a bad dream. When I close them I see your sweet smile, I hear your laugh echo throughout my thoughts. You control me, my thoughts, my actions, my heart. I’m heartbroken without you, I’m exhausted from having to pretend otherwise.”
My heart ached more than I ever thought possible as this man poured his heart out to me. Never in my life had a man felt like he wasn’t good enough for me, it was always me thinking I wasn’t good enough for him. I felt a few tears run down my cheeks as he pulled me into a hug.
“Reece, I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough to admit the way I felt about you from the beginning. And I’m sorry that I was so hateful toward you, I was hurting and thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t make my relationships work. But if you can forgive me, I swear to you that I will never treat you that way ever again. I know that with you, I will make it work. You are worth far more than I ever deserve but I know I deserve to be happy and you make me happy.”
We let go of one another, Leland looking longingly into my eyes. “Will you please come home with me? If not that, will you at least produce the next season. We… I need you.” he pleads.
“Come home with you?” I asked, somewhat taken by surprise. “I don’t know, Leland. That is a lot to ask of a person. I just can’t leave my home and move halfway across the ocean to be with you.”
He hangs his head, defeated. “I understand.” he says, and leaves me sitting on my couch alone. A moment later I heard the heavy ‘thud’ of my front door closing.
---------
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t lonely. I had wanted more out of my life than producing a local talk show. Everyday was the same, get up at 5:00 am and go to work, get off work and go home at 6:00 pm. There were days when I didn’t speak to anyone but my co-workers.
Some nights I lay in bed thinking what might have happened between Leland and I and never came up with any real answers. I would think about the way he smelled or the way his weight felt on top of me, the way his skin glowed in the moonlight. My mind would drift as I thought about the way his shirts always seemed to hug his broad shoulders and muscular arms in just the right places.
I tried my best not to think of the way I felt when we kissed, how he parted my lips with his skillful tongue, mischief dancing in his dark eyes. No, I couldn’t think of those things, not now. It was all over and I was the one that walked away.
The End.
I shook my head, shocked to see him standing there in my doorway.
“Reece.” he says, almost surprised to see me.
“Wh...what are you doing here?” I ask, letting him into my home.
He throws his arms around me, “I’ve been looking for you for the past three months Reece. I am so glad I finally found you!” he says.
I was in disbelief, “How did you find my house?”
“Bounty Hunter.” he says with an innocent smile.
“Come in...Have a seat.” I say, motioning to my couch.
As we sat across from each other, I noticed how different he looked since the last time I’d seen him. Not physically but emotionally different. He seemed happy. Maybe he’d gotten back together with that Ex he couldn’t seem to let go.
I watched as he sat there, taking the sight of me in; my once long, wavy hair now cut off in a cute bouncy bob. I’d always heard that a girl who cut her hair was about to change her life and that’s what I did.
“Reece…” he says, reaching out to take my hand.
“No, Leland you don’t get to come here and start that shit again. You broke my heart!”
“Please listen for a minute and after I say what I need to say you can kick me out.”
“Fine.” I say in agreement.
He clears his throat and nervously runs a hand through his hair. “I know that I hurt you that night when I didn’t come to your room. I had gotten a phone call from my Ex-girlfriend and she just kept telling me how sorry I was and that I didn’t deserve to have anyone and I started to believe it was true.”
“Leland..” I started to interrupt him but stopped as he held his hand up in protest.
“Please let me finish… I knew from the moment we met that you were going to be part of my life, that in some way you would be with me forever, for good or bad. When I open my eyes every morning I pray that you might be there beside me, and that this is a just a bad dream. When I close them I see your sweet smile, I hear your laugh echo throughout my thoughts. You control me, my thoughts, my actions, my heart. I’m heartbroken without you, I’m exhausted from having to pretend otherwise.”
My heart ached more than I ever thought possible as this man poured his heart out to me. Never in my life had a man felt like he wasn’t good enough for me, it was always me thinking I wasn’t good enough for him. I felt a few tears run down my cheeks as he pulled me into a hug.
“Reece, I’m sorry I wasn’t man enough to admit the way I felt about you from the beginning. And I’m sorry that I was so hateful toward you, I was hurting and thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t make my relationships work. But if you can forgive me, I swear to you that I will never treat you that way ever again. I know that with you, I will make it work. You are worth far more than I ever deserve but I know I deserve to be happy and you make me happy.”
We let go of one another, Leland looking longingly into my eyes. “Will you please come home with me? If not that, will you at least produce the next season. We… I need you.” he pleads.
“Come home with you?” I asked, somewhat taken by surprise. “I don’t know, Leland. That is a lot to ask of a person. I just can’t leave my home and move halfway across the ocean to be with you.”
He hangs his head, defeated. “I understand.” he says, and leaves me sitting on my couch alone. A moment later I heard the heavy ‘thud’ of my front door closing.
---------
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t lonely. I had wanted more out of my life than producing a local talk show. Everyday was the same, get up at 5:00 am and go to work, get off work and go home at 6:00 pm. There were days when I didn’t speak to anyone but my co-workers.
Some nights I lay in bed thinking what might have happened between Leland and I and never came up with any real answers. I would think about the way he smelled or the way his weight felt on top of me, the way his skin glowed in the moonlight. My mind would drift as I thought about the way his shirts always seemed to hug his broad shoulders and muscular arms in just the right places.
I tried my best not to think of the way I felt when we kissed, how he parted my lips with his skillful tongue, mischief dancing in his dark eyes. No, I couldn’t think of those things, not now. It was all over and I was the one that walked away.
The End.