That Moment
That Moment: When Jack starts asking questions.
“Did something happen between you and Leland?” Jack asks quietly, as we loaded the equipment in the back of the SUV’s after arresting a fugitive. I paused momentarily trying to decide if I should come clean. Should I tell him we made out like teenagers in the bus last week or just play it cool and deny everything?
“Um...no, why do you ask?” I say, as I finished loading my bags. As a friend once told me, deny, deny, deny.
He looks some what confused, I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not. “The two of you have been acting really awkward around one another.” He says with a shrug.
Deciding not to push the conversation any further, I took my seat in back and started making notes from the bust. A few minutes later Leland climbs in the driver’s seat, glancing over his shoulder at me, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Jack looks over at me and starts to say something. Holding up my hand, I stop him. “I don’t want to get into this right now.” I say, shaking my head.
“Hey Reece, do you ugh… need any commentary from me today?” I hear Leland ask.
I lowered my eyes, glancing down at my notes, pretending to actually look at what was written, knowing good and well I wasn’t even reading them. “I think we’re good for today, Leland. Thanks.”
That night I retreated to my bunk, ready to shut my mind off. I hear the bus door open, looking up I expected to see Leland standing there but it was Jack. I sighed, knowing he wanted the scoop.
“Hey Jack.”
“Reece…” He says, sitting across from me on Leland’s bunk and crossing his arms. “Tell me what happened!”
I laughed, at least Jack didn’t beat around the bush. “We… kissed. A lot.”
His eyes grew wide, “Stop it! No you did not!” he says, surprised. “When? Why?”
“Last week he came back to the bus looking for a magazine and woke me up. We got into an argument and ended up making out.”
The look on his face was priceless. “So, that’s why you’ve barely said two words to one another for the past week! And today Leland actually offered to give you extra commentary… so what happens now? Are you going to date him?”
“Let’s not get carried away.” I say laughing, holding up my hand in protest. I swear Jack was like a woman sometimes.
The bus door opens again and in walks Leland. Jack excuses himself and winks at me as he steps off the bus. I would never hear the end of this.
“What’s up?” he asks, softly.
I watch as he sits down in one of the booths and rests his arms on the table. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, his hair was down and wet. He was wearing shorts and a wife beater that showed off his arms. The man knew how to play up his assets.
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly feeling very dry. “Just getting ready for bed.” I say, walking into the living room area. Taking the seat across from him, I placed my hands on the table, clasping them together.
He studied me for a moment. I wondered what he might be thinking.
“Today was a good day. I’m glad we caught that guy.” he says, looking out the window into the darkness, chewing on his bottom lip. I could tell he was nervous about something.
“Yep. You ugh… did a good job. I wouldn’t have thought about looking under the house.” I reply.
He smiles sweetly at me, “Thanks.”
Our eyes meet again, he reaches out pulling my hands apart and holds them in his own.
“Reece…I” he starts to say but stops.
“Leland?” I ask cautiously.
He rubs his thumbs across the tops of my hands, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort himself or me.
“I...I can’t do this.” he tells me, standing up and then disappearing into the night.
“Leland wait…” I yell, running after him. “Don’t go!”
I could see his shadow as he crossed the driveway, hear the crunch of the gravel as he walked toward the house. He turns for a moment as I got closer, hands buried deep in his pockets.
“Stop... Please!” I say, reaching for him.
“Reece, I told you I can’t do this.” he reminds me quietly.
“Leland, you can’t just come in there, hold my hands, act like you’re gonna pour your heart out to me and walk away! It’s not fair, you don’t get to do that to me!”
Looking somewhat sad he says to me, “I just can’t say it… not right now.”
“Please?” I plead with him.
He leans in, kissing me softly on the cheek and says, “You should get some sleep.”
And like that, he was gone.
My heart was screaming at me to chase after him, just once more. My mind was telling me it might be a pointless endeavor. If and when Leland wanted to talk to me, he would. In the meantime I would try not to overthink the situation; for all I knew he could be trying to tell me how much he hated me and never wanted to see me again. But on the other hand, my heart told me that he might just love me in his own messed up way. Either way I wouldn’t find out tonight.
“Um...no, why do you ask?” I say, as I finished loading my bags. As a friend once told me, deny, deny, deny.
He looks some what confused, I wasn’t sure if he believed me or not. “The two of you have been acting really awkward around one another.” He says with a shrug.
Deciding not to push the conversation any further, I took my seat in back and started making notes from the bust. A few minutes later Leland climbs in the driver’s seat, glancing over his shoulder at me, a hint of a smile on his lips.
Jack looks over at me and starts to say something. Holding up my hand, I stop him. “I don’t want to get into this right now.” I say, shaking my head.
“Hey Reece, do you ugh… need any commentary from me today?” I hear Leland ask.
I lowered my eyes, glancing down at my notes, pretending to actually look at what was written, knowing good and well I wasn’t even reading them. “I think we’re good for today, Leland. Thanks.”
That night I retreated to my bunk, ready to shut my mind off. I hear the bus door open, looking up I expected to see Leland standing there but it was Jack. I sighed, knowing he wanted the scoop.
“Hey Jack.”
“Reece…” He says, sitting across from me on Leland’s bunk and crossing his arms. “Tell me what happened!”
I laughed, at least Jack didn’t beat around the bush. “We… kissed. A lot.”
His eyes grew wide, “Stop it! No you did not!” he says, surprised. “When? Why?”
“Last week he came back to the bus looking for a magazine and woke me up. We got into an argument and ended up making out.”
The look on his face was priceless. “So, that’s why you’ve barely said two words to one another for the past week! And today Leland actually offered to give you extra commentary… so what happens now? Are you going to date him?”
“Let’s not get carried away.” I say laughing, holding up my hand in protest. I swear Jack was like a woman sometimes.
The bus door opens again and in walks Leland. Jack excuses himself and winks at me as he steps off the bus. I would never hear the end of this.
“What’s up?” he asks, softly.
I watch as he sits down in one of the booths and rests his arms on the table. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower, his hair was down and wet. He was wearing shorts and a wife beater that showed off his arms. The man knew how to play up his assets.
I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly feeling very dry. “Just getting ready for bed.” I say, walking into the living room area. Taking the seat across from him, I placed my hands on the table, clasping them together.
He studied me for a moment. I wondered what he might be thinking.
“Today was a good day. I’m glad we caught that guy.” he says, looking out the window into the darkness, chewing on his bottom lip. I could tell he was nervous about something.
“Yep. You ugh… did a good job. I wouldn’t have thought about looking under the house.” I reply.
He smiles sweetly at me, “Thanks.”
Our eyes meet again, he reaches out pulling my hands apart and holds them in his own.
“Reece…I” he starts to say but stops.
“Leland?” I ask cautiously.
He rubs his thumbs across the tops of my hands, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to comfort himself or me.
“I...I can’t do this.” he tells me, standing up and then disappearing into the night.
“Leland wait…” I yell, running after him. “Don’t go!”
I could see his shadow as he crossed the driveway, hear the crunch of the gravel as he walked toward the house. He turns for a moment as I got closer, hands buried deep in his pockets.
“Stop... Please!” I say, reaching for him.
“Reece, I told you I can’t do this.” he reminds me quietly.
“Leland, you can’t just come in there, hold my hands, act like you’re gonna pour your heart out to me and walk away! It’s not fair, you don’t get to do that to me!”
Looking somewhat sad he says to me, “I just can’t say it… not right now.”
“Please?” I plead with him.
He leans in, kissing me softly on the cheek and says, “You should get some sleep.”
And like that, he was gone.
My heart was screaming at me to chase after him, just once more. My mind was telling me it might be a pointless endeavor. If and when Leland wanted to talk to me, he would. In the meantime I would try not to overthink the situation; for all I knew he could be trying to tell me how much he hated me and never wanted to see me again. But on the other hand, my heart told me that he might just love me in his own messed up way. Either way I wouldn’t find out tonight.