Do You Want Me (Dead?)

Most seventeen year old boys aren’t afraid of girls. But then again, most seventeen year old boys aren’t repeatedly tormented by their best friend’s girlfriend. It was difficult to understand, but it certainly wasn’t difficult to point out that Jack Barakat was terrified of Lisa Ruocco.

Most of their peers thought it was because Lisa was a known player and she was dating the only person Jack cared about, Alex Gaskarth. But that was only the beginning of the truth.

Jack was remembered for his heartless, indifferent persona. He was the most well-known student in his school throughout each year, yet he had no friends. He kept completely to himself, never exchanging conversation. He never showed any emotion or weakness, he never laughed, he never touched anyone. Some people thought he had policies and standards set; no one ever thought to cross them.

But to each set of rules, there is an exception. And to Jack’s guidelines, Alex was just that.

Whenever they were together, Jack was talking in his ear or grinning or blushing. He was always leaning dependently on the shorter boy for support. No one really knew quite how Alex weaseled his way into the punk boy’s pretense, but they knew no one would ever earn a spot in Jack’s life that Alex had. If anyone so much as looked at Alex the wrong way, they were being chased down the street by a tall kid in a motorcycle and a black leather jacket.

Alex himself was a sweet kid. He was friendly, sociable, kind, happy, calm, and collected. He was probably the polar opposite of Jack (and Lisa, for that matter).

But when Alex started dating Lisa, Jack changed. He wasn’t tough and strong around her like he was to everyone else. She was the second exception to Jack’s quota. Near her, he was jittery and nervous; he was weak. And that was the start of a rumor, falsely affirming that Lisa and Jack had an affair that Alex didn’t know about.

Of course, it was known that Jack would never do that to the boy who was practically the center of his universe, but the rumor was the only thing their peers could come up with as reasoning for Jack breaking his façade.

Before Lisa, the only time Jack seemed frightened was when Alex had panic attacks. It had only happened once during school hours when Alex was being teased and fainted while Jack was in detention. The intercom call for the nurse had Jack bolting from his seat, despite the threats from his professor. Alarm and distress on his face were impossible to erase from the minds of those who had seen him sprint down the hallway toward his Alex. Hell, there had even been tears in his eyes as he brushed the hair from Alex’s face and kissed his temple. No one could forget the relief in his gaze when Alex finally came to and whispered his name. Everyone could plainly see how tight Jack squeezed Alex to his chest and was reluctant to let go.

Though it was virtually impossible to miss, Alex never noticed Jack’s skittish behavior near Lisa. Perhaps he was too absorbed in the girl he supposedly loved, or maybe he was just downright oblivious. The instance itself was extremely hard to understand, especially because – despite declarations of love – Alex cared more about Jack than Lisa. It wasn’t anything personal against her, he just felt stronger about Jack.

The two males had met under strange circumstances, Alex being the only kid Jack had ever physically harmed.

Jack was not having the best day, to put it simply. His father had been particularly...harsh on him previous night and his entire body ached. He seized his clothes and traipsed down the hallway towards the gym. Jack knew that if anyone stepped in his way, they better be prepared to defend themselves.

And unlucky for Alex Gaskarth, that just happened to be him.

He ran straight into Jack about thirty feet before the gym, causing him to double over and cuss in pain as the sharp corner of Alex's binder dug into his bruise from the previous night. He began profusely spouting apologies while he scrambled to collect his books, blushing a deep pink in embarrassment.

Jack practically snarled at him, grabbing Alex by the collar and slamming him into the nearest locker. Alex squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself calm, hoping Jack wouldn't let his rage blind him. The older boy had never known Jack to be violent or bully anyone, let alone himself, who had never bothered Jack before.

Alex’s hopes were diminished as Jack punched him square in the gut. He cried out in agony, but Jack was expressionless. He wasn't a strong kid, but Alex had recently relapsed, causing the blow to hurt a lot more than it should have. Jack noticed the weakness and hit there again, along with his jaw.

He yelped hopelessly. His eyes welled with tears, but he bowed his head so Jack wouldn't see. He faded in and out of consciousness while the cuts on his stomach reopened. It was one more time that Jack kneed him in the gut that had Alex slip out of reality due to loss of blood and strength, and a panic attack.

Jack noticed almost immediately and let up. His grasp on Alex's hoodie was lost as Alex slid down and slumped on the ground. Jack couldn't believe what had just happened. Alex had passed and it was his fault. Alex was perfectly innocent and Jack had just attacked him. He had let the poor kid get the brunt of his day.

"Gaskarth! Get up, I'm sorry!" Jack yelled. Everyone had cleared out of the hallways for class, so Jack had no one to turn to in the deserted corridor. Jack had no clue as to what to do, so he just picked up the weak boy and carried him bridal style outside to get some oxygen. He laid Alex out on the nearest park bench and began repeatedly calling his name. "Alex, please! I can't get in trouble!" Jack yelled, although something told him that wasn't the only reason he wanted Alex to be okay. Then, as if on cue, Alex woke, gasping breathlessly.

And the first thing he did when he saw Jack was burst into tears.

Alex sobbed his eyes out, partly because he had thought the episode with Jack was just a nightmare and partly because he was startled to be awakened from a panic attack with a ruthless Barakat hovering over him.

Jack felt terribly guilty. Not only had he hurt Alex bodily, he had mentally affected him too. The boy was bawling and shaking, and it didn't look like he was going to stop anytime soon. Jack recalled when they were little, the brunette had always been practically on top of the other students with piggy back rides and unnecessary hugs. Alex had loved physical comfort, and Jack vaguely wondered if this was still the case, but didn't dwell on it too much before deciding: oh well, Alex couldn't possibly get any worse.

Jack pulled Alex into his arms and held on tightly. He froze at first, but then he relaxed slightly wrapped his own arms around Jack’s waist. He had been having a horrible week to begin with, but this just made everything ten times worse. He buried his face in his hands and groaned with pure misery, feeling the worst he had in years. The barriers that had been holding back tears collapsed once again, letting out streams of saltwater from his sad eyes. He grabbed onto Jack and rested his face in his shoulder to muffle his pained cries.

"Alex? What happened? There’s got to be something other than this," He whispered pulling the broken boy into him tighter. Alex sniffled and attempted to conceal himself but failed drastically upon seeing Jack's worried eyes looking into his. He balled his hands up into fists and screamed and cried into Jack's chest, trembling. He knew that Jack Barakat didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t touch anyone and certainly didn’t care about anyone. Of course he was confused as to why Jack was wasting his time on him, the kid who walked around with a heavy bag of insecurities weighing him down.

Jack had never seen Alex this upset. No one had.

"Shh, do you wanna talk about it?" He whispered into the boy's hair. Jack gently rubbed circles into Alex's back, murmuring into his ear while he whimpered pathetically. Alex shook his head. The initial shock started to wear off, so he consoled himself and took comfort in the warmth of Jack’s embrace.

And when Jack looked directly into Alex’s bloodshot eyes, it was like he saw a different person. All kids were troubled in a way, some more than others. Jack saw himself in Alex. Insecurity. Fear. Neglect. Pain. Jack saw himself, and right then and there, he silently vowed to never let Alex go, to save him.

That day three years ago had changed something inside of Jack forever. He would always be apathetic toward everyone he knew except for Alex. For the first year they were friends, Jack kept Alex under his wing, tucked carefully at his side at all times possible. It turned out they were neighbors too.

Each night they’d open their windows and talk until they couldn’t keep their eyes open any longer. Most nights it was Alex who drifted off first, and – though Jack found it absolutely adorable – it sucked that he didn’t have anyone to talk to. Jack was an insomniac; he rarely slept, but if he did, he was with Alex. The other boy knew about his restlessness and often invited him to crawl through the window to cuddle until he got some repose. Practically every boundary had been crossed already so Jack was barely hesitant to break his last rule, especially if it meant a night with Alex.

And Alex was more than willing to welcome him too; the more he learned about his best friend, the more he worried. He knew Jack thought alarmingly little of himself and that he wanted so badly just to end it all. Jack believed he didn’t have a future, so there was no point in continuing the regular processes of life if it was going to get him nowhere.

Alex wasn’t ready to lose his best friend, so he was prepared to do anything in his power to keep Jack by his side.

Plus, Alex actually thought it was adorable that big, tall, scary Jack had so many pent up emotions and was willing to share them with him. It made him feel special he was the sole comfort that Jack could find in the deadly anxiety of night. And Jack was a great at cuddling. Regardless, Alex found it unnerving that Jack was so willing to completely drop everything in his life and never exist again, so he kept a close eye on him.

What he didn’t keep an eye on, though, was Lisa.

He never was there to see his girlfriend cornering Jack after school ended to torment him. Lisa didn’t exactly harm him physically – since she was a petite, short girl – but she found a way into Jack’s head. When the last bell would ring, Jack would head out the school’s back, less used exit to get on the bus with Alex. As soon as she caught onto the routine, she’d follow Jack and tell him false things to scare him away from Alex.

Her reasoning was selfish and based off an inner insecurity, yet still no justification for hurting Jack the way she did. She was jealous that Alex clearly liked Jack better than her and wanted him out. In her mind, Alex was hers and the punk kid was in the way. The only way she could possibly get him out was to convince him he wasn’t worth Alex’s time and that the other boy didn’t actually like him.

At first Jack was able to brush it off easily because he knew what she said was an inflated lie, but eventually it started to get to his head, as all bullying did. Maybe Alex didn’t actually want him and was just pitying him. Alex was a sweet kid and probably just felt bad that he had no other friends.

She got to spit insults at his turned back until Alex came skipping up from behind them, kissing Lisa’s cheek goodbye before grabbing Jack’s hand and pulling him toward the bus. Then Lisa would smile and wave through the window with an ersatz smile that made Jack’s stomach flip with nausea.

Alex admittedly did notice Jack’s change in demeanor when they were on the bus. Jack could either be extremely dazed and spaced out, not wanting anything to do with Alex (which did actually hurt the older boy’s feelings a lot), or he was clingy and sad, nuzzling his face into Alex’s soft hoodie and sleeping for the ride (which Alex found adorable, if he were honest).

He couldn’t really fathom why all of the sudden his friend wasn’t goofy and lighthearted on their bus rides, but he eventually stopped fretting. He’d be there to act as a pillow whenever, so there was no reason to worry.

Or so Alex thought.
___

Jack was sleeping over Alex’s the night it started.

The day was a Friday at the end of May in their junior year and everything in their day was normal – well, it wasn’t exactly normal for a seventeen year old boy to be anxious over the words of a sixteen year old girl, so the correct word was either habitual or routine. Alex’s father had made them pizza bagels and chicken nuggets a few hours prior, the pair had headed to the basement to watch a movie, then set up blankets for Jack on the floor of Alex’s room and talking. They fell asleep around midnight, and an hour later it started.

First, Jack became restless in his sleep, tossing and turning enough to wake Alex. He peered over the side of the bed to check on his best friend and became startled to hear him whimpering. Flipping the sheets off himself, Alex turned on his lamp and kneeled beside Jack to rub his shoulder. Alex’s panic worsened as tears began to stream down the boy’s cheeks. He shook his shoulder and whispered his name, but he didn’t wake until Alex let go of his calm and yelped his name louder.

At Alex’s voice crack, the younger boy drowsily opened his eyes with a gasping breath before practically tackling Alex in the tightest hug he’d ever received.
___

Alex woke first with confusion as to why he was holding his best friend before remembering the strange endeavor from the previous night. He shifted uncomfortably under the weight on top of him, yet didn’t get up so Jack could get some extra sleep. He needed it more than ever.

The elder knew he must’ve been dreaming about something and was petrified enough to cry, but he couldn’t imagine what Jack was so scared of. He knew he didn’t like heights or bugs, but not to the extent of that. He remembered the look in Jack’s eyes and how tight he’d clung onto his hoodie. Alex would never forget it. The face of Jack in pure terror would always remain in the back of his mind; he vowed to never let it happen again.

Speaking of the boy, he was lying completely on top of Alex for comfort in the same position he had settled in during the night. He’d practically knocked his best friend to the ground, lying him flat on his back and clinging to him. His hands had balled in fists around Alex’s hoodie and his legs wrapped around his waist. After about an hour of holding onto his best friend for dear life, he’d fallen asleep to the sound of Alex’s heartbeat in his ear as an assurance that everything was okay.

And Alex hadn’t bothered to move yet; he was too startled. He’d stayed up practically the entire night to make sure Jack was okay and wondering what had triggered him. What could have possibly scared the boy so much? Alex didn’t know, and he wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know. He sighed in resignation and threaded his fingers through Jack’s thick, wild hair in attempt to gently wake him.
___

Four years later, All Time Low was on its first full US tour. For a few young adults, tour life was easy; they didn’t have many things to worry about. Well, not all of them did. Rian was set because they were touring with Hey Monday, Zack wasn’t in a relationship, and Alex had brought Lisa on tour – which was the root of Jack’s current problem.

The twenty-one year old was lying in his bunk with headphones in, blasting Dashboard Confessional and fighting back emotions. He had never told anyone about what Lisa did to him (he never told Alex about that dream either) but he was starting to want to. He wouldn’t take another year of it. He’d put up with her for far too long.

In fact, it wasn’t even her that tortured him anymore. She paid someone to taunt Jack and add a physical beating to the whole ordeal. No matter where he tried to hide, a big and bulky dude found him and harmed him in any way possible. And he was tired of it.

He was tired of being alone, of being pushed around inadvertently by Alex, of being trampled by a scary guard man. Lisa was singlehandedly ruining his life. She was the cause of each and every one of his predicaments and it was time Alex knew.

Jack ripped out his headphones and got out of bed, stomping over to where he hoped his ‘best friend’ was with a scowl. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves a bit before pushing open the door to the bus’s lounge…to find Rian.

“Rian, do you know where Alex is?” He questioned a bit too aggressively. The older boy looked up distractedly from his current video game to shrug and run a hand through his hair – which he had decided to grow out a little.

Deciding Alex was probably at the nearest convenient store that sold coffee, he grabbed his jacket. And heading out, he saw the dark clouds in the sky and was happy he did. He was also glad he had set out to find his best friend because Alex was terrified of storms (to Jack’s dismay, he loved them more than anything).

The only wish he had was that Lisa was shopping or something so he could talk to Alex alone. He didn’t need her there while he tried to get her in trouble. But what he did need was to gather his thoughts so he could put up a good argument.

Though as he walked the dirty sidewalk, drowning in his words, Jack walked straight into someone. He started apologizing, a blushing and stuttering mess, before he saw who it was.

Daren, the man Lisa paid to hurt him.

And just like that, all his confidence went spiraling down the drain. Thoughts of confiding in Alex, confronting Lisa, living life like he should, everything went crashing down with his esteem in the face of his worst nightmare.

“I think you better come with me,” the man growled, his musty breath fanning over Jack’s face as he leaned in close. When he didn’t move, Daren seized him by the shirt collar and dragged him into some alley, away from the eye of the public, which sort of relieved Jack. He didn’t want anyone to see him beaten to a pulp.

The boy gagged at the smell of booze in his breath and tried to pull away, only to be dragged further down the littered street. There was no point in fighting because, even though the man was shorter than him, he was much stronger. And dirtier, so much dirtier. Jack guessed this was his only job and he just lived on the streets.

He tried to escape, he really did, but he was reduced to tripping and stumbling along the pavement on what seemed like his own death march. Daren stopped dragging him about a minute later when they were completely out of the public eye. As soon as he let go, Jack was bolting in the opposite direction, yet at the same time, Daren stuck his foot out and tripped Jack.

He fell face-first with a resounding thud on the pavement. Coughing and sputtering the sidewalk’s grungy litter out of his mouth, Jack groaned in pain at the bruise that was definitely forming on his left hip. He already wanted to cry.

The abhorrent sound of Daren’s laughter behind him certainly didn’t help his diminishing strength to fight back. The vile chuckles almost gave their own beating, having Jack shut his eyes briefly to calm himself. Daren then delivered a sharp kick to his side to which Jack felt like he was coughing up his own lungs.

Everything became blurry with a haze of pain after that. Jack barely registered Daren shoving him to roll on his back, facing up at his worst enemy. The man stepped on Jack chest, digging his heel into Jack’s ribs until he was suffocating and begging for breath. Daren stared down at him menacingly as he forcefully kicked Jack’s jaw, who let out a sharp cry of agony.

“My girlfriend dumped me,” he growled after spitting in Jack’s face. The boy squirmed at the weight on his chest, but just whimpered when Daren bore down harder. “So now, you can be a helpful boy and I’ll get my way with you, dirty street scum.”

And the sound of Daren’s zipper was the scariest noise he’d ever heard.
___

Jack really hadn’t thought it was possible to be in so much pain at once. The aching from the beating plus what Daren had done to him added up to a whole world of anguish. In addition, the storm from earlier had finally surged. Rolling thunder and sheets of pelting rain surrounded him. He was freezing and had no idea where his pants were. Daren had the decency to throw him his boxers, but it wasn’t too helpful, considering Jack couldn’t move.

He couldn’t believe how awful the man could be. Sure, he’d always beat him up, but he never thought he’d rape him. Daren had been so relentless and apathetic to him; no matter how loud he screamed, how hard he cried, or how much it hurt. He didn’t care. Jack decided he didn’t have a heart.

He needed his phone so desperately. It was lying in a puddle of dirty gutter water from where it had skid when he fell. If he could roll over, just once, he could call someone. So, mustering all the strength he possibly could, Jack painstakingly turned, heaving himself to the left.

And, oh, it hurt. Tears sprung to his eyes with a whimper, but he was able to reach his phone. The screen was cracked, but at least it wasn’t dead. When he looked back at the spot he was in, there was a small puddle of blood seemingly mocking him. Great, he’d have to go to a hospital.

The first person in his contact list was Aaron, but he didn’t know him well enough to let him see him naked and in so much pain. Next was Aidan, their security guard. Being a trained security guard, he was probably Jack’s best option, but he really wanted someone he could trust completely. Jack and Aidan had only exchanged a few words.

After Aidan was Alex. Yeah, that was who Jack wanted. He needed some emotional comfort and Alex was perfectly capable of carrying him to an ambulance. Jack weighed practically nothing.

One ring, two rings, three rings…

Right as Jack began to lose hope, Alex answered, panting a greeting.

“A-Alex,” he choked through the pain in his throat. His best friend hummed for Jack to continue, which he did with heavy labor. “I n-n-need help-p-please. Som-meon-n-e… t-touch-ched m-m-me, I c-can’t m-m-move, p-p-please help me.”

“Not now, Jack. I’m, uh, busy. Save the lame jokes for later,” He practically snarled. Jack didn’t think he’d ever felt worse. Alex was turning away in his most vulnerable state to be with Lisa, the woman who put him in this whole mess. The harder he listened, he could hear her complaining.

“P-Pl-lease, Alex! I’m-m not j-jok-k-king!” But Alex hung up before he could hear Jack begin to sob again.

The rain above lulled him to sleep when he couldn’t cry any longer.
__

When he woke, the only thing he heard was a siren. Blaring above, the noise startled him into full awareness so he could hear a conversation behind him. He couldn’t quite make out the muffled voices due to the incessant ringing in his ears, probably a result from when he was knocked to the ground and hit his head-

Jack immediately yelped when he felt someone dabbing a stinging substance on the gash on his jaw. His eyes opened in surprise to see a nurse above him. Taking in the scene surrounding him, he was in an ambulance.

The lady jumped when she heard Jack, and her jaw dropped when she saw he was awake.

“We didn’t expect you to wake up, honey. You were out cold,” she said softly, care in her voice. In all honesty, Jack was surprised too. He was in so much pain, an immense and blinding agony taking over every inch of his body. He could barely grasp that what had happened was actually reality. Daren usually wasn’t that harsh; he never touched Jack sexually.

But that had changed when he did. All Jack’s dignity and self-worth had disappeared, leaving him defiled and dirty and used. He wanted to shower, to scrub every part of himself to get Daren out, but he couldn’t when he was strapped to a gurney.

Jack was honestly terrified. What if Daren came back and did it again? He didn’t think he could handle that pain all over. As if his confidence wasn’t bad enough, now he had this weighing on his shoulders. Plus, he had to live with the fear.

“Sweetheart?” The woman questioned him. Jack noticed she had a thick southern accent and briefly wondered what she was doing in Baltimore. “Can you tell me your name? And maybe what happened? If you’re not ready yet, it’s perfectly fine, honey. You’re safe now.”

Jack’s voice was scratchy, but he did manage to get a ‘thank you’ out, before clearing his throat to relay more information.

“Jack B-Barakat, twent-ty one y-years old,” he stuttered nervously. The woman, whose nametag read ‘Alina,’ gave Jack a sympathetic smile, pulling a chair up to him and placing her hand on his shoulder with a comforting look. “I…someone beat me up.”

“Just a random person?”

He nodded instead of speaking his lie. Jack was an awful liar and didn’t trust his voice.

“Then where are your pants?” She interrogated softly, knowing it was a tough thing to talk about. She totally knew the answer, she just wanted him to come to terms with it on his own. And to be completely sure, of course.

“He, um, h-he, y’know, uh-” Jack stumbled pathetically over his words and thankfully Alina noticed him trembling and shushed him to calm down. She didn’t want to scare him any more than he obviously already was, so she let it go. The poor boy looked petrified of his own shadow. She nodded and wiped at his jaw again.

“I’m going to give you a painkiller, so you might begin to feel drowsy, sweetheart,” she cooed, brushing aside Jack’s hair. She handed him a pill and a glass of water, to which Jack frantically shook his head to. “You want the liquid instead of the pill?”

He nodded, causing her to dig through the cabinets in the back of the ambulance to find the kind they gave to children. She didn’t even question him, and Jack was grateful for that. He was too shaky and scarred to be able to explain.

He swallowed down the foul liquid and almost immediately started to feel the effects of it kick in. Suddenly, he wasn’t in so much agony and he could finally feel himself drifting off. At least he was safe.

___

When he got the call from the emergency room, Alex didn’t think he’d ever felt so much guilt in his entire life.

He had been one-hundred percent sure Jack was just fooling around to mess with his time with Lisa, but he had actually been hurt. His best friend had been beaten, sexually abused and left to bleed out in an alleyway while he had been living it up with his fiancée.

He was truly an awful person. There was no way he’d ever make it up to the other boy, but he had rushed Lisa into the car and sped down to Mercy Medical Center. His heart had been thumping frantically in his chest as his hands trembled on the steering wheel. Lisa occasionally stole nervous glances at him while they sat in the waiting room, but didn’t say much. Alex blamed her strange mood on the situation, but he only knew part of the issue.

And when the nurse allowed the pair into Jack’s room, Alex swore he could’ve passed out when he saw the state his best friend was in.

Lisa gasped loudly but Alex just stood there. All the color drained out of him as he stared at the weak boy lying in front of him. He might not have passed out, but he did throw up. Into the house plant on the bedside table. Not the ideal reaction Jack was expecting, but at least he wasn’t alone anymore.

“Jack, oh my god, I’m such an awful friend, I’m so sorry, oh god,” he rambled as he wiped his mouth and collapsed into the chair beside Jack. The poor boy was a mess. Alex couldn’t look him in the eye without wanting to puke again in disgust with himself. His best friend in the entire world, the first person he trusted, the boy he owed his life to, was lying nearly dead on a hospital bed. And most of the damage couldn’t even be seen by him.

Jack just blinked slowly, only beginning to register what was going on. Everything was in sort of an odd sense of realism, as if he was dreaming. The haze did lift when he saw Lisa in the doorway. Seconds later he was pulling the covers over his head and curling in a ball to hide.

At the sound of his best friend’s voice, he did calm down considerably, but seeing Lisa had terrified him beyond anything. What if she was back to hurt him for getting the police to chase Daren. They hadn’t found him yet, but they had leads and were sure to be there soon.

“No, it’s alright, Jay. It’s just me and Lisa!” He tried desperately to calm him, but Jack wouldn’t budge from beneath the blankets. Alex carefully stepped over the boy and tried to peel back the covers, revealing Jack’s shaking form.

He barely opened his eyes, peeking up at his best friend and wearing an uncomfortable expression. With his glare toward Lisa, Alex understood the unspoken communication and asked her to leave. She obliged calmly and stepped out.

If she was completely honest, guilt was ripping her up inside. Jack may admittedly have more of Alex’s heart than she did – which she was jealous about still – yet he didn’t deserve what Daren did to him. No one deserved to be beaten and raped and left to die in an alleyway, especially not someone who hadn’t even done anything wrong.

As much as she didn’t want to (and she really, really didn’t want to), Lisa had to tell Alex. He didn’t need to be lied to repeatedly and witness his best friend in the state he was in. Plus, maybe if she fessed up, they could find Daren and throw him in jail. She had never meant for Jack to be hurt that badly.

The whole idea of hurting him was to scare him away from Alex. The tall boy knew very well that if he stayed away from Alex, he wouldn’t get hurt. But Jack had returned, covered in bruises, time and time again. If that didn’t give him credit in Lisa’s head, she didn’t know what could.

For a loyalty that strong, Jack deserved to be free. And only Lisa could give him that liberty.

Meanwhile, Alex was holding said boy in his arms, who was still trembling and now on the verge of tears. The elder did his best to be gentle as possible, but nothing was more terrifying to him than when he tried to touch Jack.

All he had wanted to do was brush his hair aside or rub his back or hug him, but Jack had flinched.

The pure terror in his eyes was heartbreaking to Alex. He didn’t know what he’d do if he never got another hug from his best friend. Jack must’ve seen the look on his face and mirrored it with a frown as equally troubled. The brunette was going to murder whoever did this to him.

With hesitance in his watery brown eyes, Jack reached for his hand to curl their fingers together. Alex gave him an understanding smile and the other male just sighed heavily, turning to lean heavily on his friend’s shoulder.

Everything was silent for a minute before Jack shivered in his thin hospital gown. Alex looked at him worriedly, but the boy just nuzzled his face into his shoulder for his warmth. Before Alex could query any further, the door creaked open slowly and Lisa entered the room.

Her face was clearly washed with caution as she stepped in, guilt heavily bearing down on her shoulders. She didn’t want to tell Alex and was scared to lose him. The young woman didn’t exactly love him, but it would be weird not to have him around. Alex was good company; he was funny and kind and endlessly intelligent. She considered herself lucky to have him for as long as she did.

But the boy wouldn’t be hers anymore. And really, he had never been fully hers to begin with. Despite how much trouble she went through to make herself the most important in Alex’s life, that role would always be filled by Jack. Her fiancé’s heart had always belonged to Jack, they had each other first. She just stole Alex from Jack and ruined his life.

So with tears in her eyes Lisa removed the ring from her forth finger and placed it on the brunette’s lap. The pair watched her silently: Alex with confusion and Jack on the verge of major relief.

“I don’t deserve this,” she admitted, not daring to meet their glances. “You won’t be seeing me any time soon.” Alex let out a small gasp while Jack sat up from his shoulder in utter disbelief. Her steps were slow and seemed to echo through the small room.

Hand griping the knob of the door, Lisa turned and directed her vision to the boy she had hurt so badly. “Jack, I’m so sorry. I never expected him to treat you that awfully. Regardless, it’s still my fault and I accept all responsibility. I just want you to know that I truly am sorry. It’s your turn to live your happily-ever-after.” She pulled the door open. “And you should probably tell him,” she advised, pointing a finger in her confused ex-fiancé’s direction before disappearing through the door, never to be seen again.

After all that time, Jack never expected to be freed. He was disappointed that it had to come to the point where he was in a hospital, but relieved nonetheless. And before he had any time to bask in his newly gained liberties, Alex was giving him that lost, innocent look that Jack knew so well.

Right, he had some explaining to do.
_____

By the time Jack had finished telling him the story, Alex had threatened to murder both Lisa and Daren in hundreds of way Jack hadn’t even thought possible. He’d tried reminding his angry friend that Lisa was a girl, but Alex had given Jack a ‘does it look like I give a damn?’ glare.

“It’s okay, Alex,” he’d mumbled, starting intently at the dirty tiles on the floor. He was still immensely shaken up from the incident itself and having to tell about it, even if it was his best friend. He hadn’t wanted Alex mad, but he should’ve expected the response he got.

“No it’s not!” He’d yelled, Jack wincing. “Does it look like it’s okay?! Because you in a hospital bed doesn’t really define ‘okay’!” And just like that, Alex had set off into pacing around the room, yelling with wild hand gestures about how it wasn’t alright.

And that was when Jack had started to cry.

The whole lot of tears and hysterics came quickly and soon after Jack had been holding a pillow over his head with his face smushed in the springy mattress. The loud sound of yelling followed by violent sobs sent a nurse bursting through the door frantically.

Alex had stopped ranting to see Jack bawling before the nurse was pushing him out of the small room. But he pushed past her, calling Jack’s name. He hadn’t meant to make him cry. Guilt was heavy in his chest as the boy just sobbed louder.

The short nurse, Alina, who had taken care of Jack in the ambulance, shot Alex a dirty look but headed out of the room to let him handle the situation. Meanwhile, the elder was struggling to pry the pillow Jack was holding over his head.

“Shh, Jay, you’re alright, you’re safe,” Alex soothed and the taller boy let up. As soon as he looked up, Jack was trying to hide under the covers, expecting Alex to yell. But he didn’t. Instead, he just grabbed Jack’s wrist and looked him right in the eyes, which were still frequently shedding tears. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled.”

But before Alex could even finish his sentence, Jack was wrapping his arms around his torso and holding onto him. The elder wasn’t sure what to do at first since he assumed Jack may not want to touch anyone after the incident, but, realizing Jack was holding onto him tightly and softly crying into his shoulder, Alex gladly returned the gesture.

“Don’t cry, please. You’re okay now,” he begged, running his fingers through Jack’s hair. His sobs weren’t loud anymore, just quiet and pained. Alex could feel the reservation; Jack didn’t want to cry again, but he couldn’t hold it in.

The door creaked open, which neither of them noticed, for the nurse to peek in at the pair. She figured Alex handled the situation quite well since Jack was calming slightly, enough to mumble into the other boy’s shoulder. She watched as Alex wiped away the last of his tears and brushed his hair aside to gaze in his eyes. Then she felt like she was intruding on their moment and left.

“I really didn’t mean to make you cry, Jack.” He whispered, leaning down to nuzzle their noses together. Jack nodded and avoided the elder’s eyes. “What- why did that upset you so much?”

“I…well, when you yelled,” he sighed and buried his face in Alex’s shoulder again, “you sounded like him. I mean, your voice didn’t, but it reminded me of… of what he said to me. My head just sent me into a flashback; he was yelling in my ear how dirty I am, that I’m a worthless…w-whore.”

His last word was whispered so carefully and sounded so hurt that Alex could’ve went on a hunt to kill Lisa and the evil man. Jack wasn’t any of those things. Daren was and he deserved prison.

But when he looked down at the boy in his arms, he realized he’d never have enough time to get revenge on them. He needed to devote all his time into caring for Jack.

Alex wasn’t sure whether it was the vulnerability or the way his eyes seemed to reflect the light like the stars they used to sit under, during the good times, when everything was okay. But something in that moment, a variable that may stay unknown forever, made Alex lean down and brush their lips together.

Starting out softly because he wanted to make sure Jack was ready and okay with it, he moved their lips together until Jack joined in.

And then the pair was sure they were in heaven together. The metaphorical idea of it seemed possible since Jack was confident he had never felt so content, and since Alex was positive he had never felt so light.

When Alex looked away he noticed Lisa’s old ring in his jean pocket and reached down to slowly pull it out. Glancing quickly at Jack, he knelt down at the same time Jack opened his eyes to figure out why they weren’t kissing anymore.

“Jack, I know this was hers, but I always thought my ring would look better on your finger anyway. I mean, you don’t have to marry me now or anything since we kinda skipped the dating part but we have time and we already know each other perfectly but I just don’t want to give you up and I need to keep you safe and-“

“Stop rambling, Lex. Of course I will.”

____

I owe @imissyouimsosorry all plot credit, once again because she always has cool ideas for my mush brain :)

hate hate hate the ending ugh murder me

Also, this story is touching on a very serious topic. This happens too often and people almost always get away with it. DON’T LET EVIL MEN GET AWAY WITH IT.

Much love,
Juliana
(This is the longest piece of writing I’ve EVER done… 7,000 words)