Mercy

Nikki pushes her way through the crowd of strangers, looking for a quiet spot to gather her thoughts. She never liked being surrounded by people, it probably came from being an only child. She always had to occupy herself growing up and now days things weren't much different.

"Nikki Murdock" she hears a voice say from behind her. She turns quickly, wondering if she might have imagined it, until a hand reaches out to grab her, pulling her outside. "You look like you could used some fresh air." he says spinning her around and pinning her against the brick wall of the convention center. She gasps as his hands grip her waist. "Ive been looking for you." Duane Lee breathes in her ear. "I know your secret."

"I don't have any secrets." she says pushing herself away from the wall. A door opens next to them, Duane Lee quickly moves away from her, glancing down at this watch. "Its time to go back inside. I'm sure that was someone looking for me....We'll talk later" he says, walking away. Nikki takes a moment to gather her thoughts and follows him inside, making her way back to her seat.

"I was getting worried about you." Leland says as she sits down, taking Bailee from him. "I'm sorry... there's a lot of people here, its hard to get anywhere." she says laughing nervously.

"Well, I think we have to go on stage or something...Im gonna get another drink before that happens." he says, leaving Nikki there holding his daughter.

Two hours later a very drunk Leland stumbles back over to his seat beside Nikki. "Enjoying the party?" she asks him, raising her eyebrow. He smiles and leans toward her, whispering "No. I hate this."

She was a little surprised to hear that, considering how long they had been doing the show. "Why do you hate it?" she asks looking over at him. He only shrugs and leans his head back against the chair.

"Do you wanna leave?"

"Yes! Lets go." he says hopping up quickly from his chair. She laughs and stands up with him, still holding Bailee, who's fallen asleep. He pulls the keys from his pocket and Nikki quickly snatches them from him. "I think you better let me drive." she says, with a laugh.

It didn't take too long for them to get back to Leland's house. Nikki puts Bailee to bed and finds Leland drinking a Corona in the kitchen. "Want one?" he asks, trying to give her the bottle. "Nah, I'm good." she says smiling.

"Oh come on, loosen up. Have some fun." he says, shaking the bottle in front of her face. She grabs its from his taking a long drink and making a face when she swallows.

"You're not a drinker are you?" he says laughing, taking the bottle back from her and drinking the rest of it. "I drink, just not beer." she explains. "And I don't need to loosen up, trust me..."

"Ohhh... get a little wild when you're drunk? Leland asks, wiggling his eyebrows, and getting another beer from the refrigerator.

"I better head home, its getting late." she says turning to leave. He grabs her arm, "Wait. Don't go." he says quietly, pulling her toward him. "Leland -" she pleads as he pulls her closer.

"Please stay." he says sadly.
"I'm so lonely." he says, sticking his bottom lip out. Nikki sighs and briefly closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "I don't think...its appropriate." she says pulling away from him.

He gives her a sad laugh and says, "Look at me! Do you think I ever gave a fuck about being appropriate? And besides, I'm your boss... so I get to make the rules." He says walking past her and into the living room. Nikki was afraid of where this might be headed, but decided to go along with his reasoning for the time being. "Okay...so, what’s your new rule?" she asks, sitting down next to him.

"My first rule is..." he says, pausing to take a drink. There's silence for a moment, "What was I saying?" he asks rather seriously. Nikki rolls her eyes, laughing, then lays her head back against the sofa thinking that this had been a rather strange night. First Leland's brother, now Leland...how did she ever get wrapped up in their little world?

Some time passes before either of them say anything. "Tell me about Bailee's mother." Nikki says looking over at him. "Where is she?" she asks as he leans his head back, turning toward her. Nikki knew it was a long shot, but she decided to ask him the question anyway. "He's so drunk, he might just answer." she thought to herself.

Now face to face with one another, he knew there was no escaping the question. The truth had been hidden from the outside world for so long, he didn't know if he could actually say it because he was ashamed in many ways. "Bailee's mom was a one night stand...I don't know where she is now, to be quite honest with you."

Nikki was surprised, that had not been the answer she was expecting. "I know, I know..." he says. "You don't have to say anything, I can see it on your face." he says sadly.

"Leland, I'm not judging you, I just wasn't expecting that." she says, reaching out to touch his arm, trying to give him some comfort. "I know its hard. Please tell me the story."

He sighs, and looks away for a moment before saying, "I met Stacy at a bar one night, we hit it off and she went home with me. The next morning she left early and I didn't think anything about her until I got a call from the hospital almost nine months later telling me that my baby had been abandoned."

"Wow" Nikki says, interrupting his story.

"Yeah, wow is about right... So I went down there, not knowing what to expect, you know? And there was this beautiful baby girl with dark hair and dark eyes, and they said she was mine and that the mother had named me as the father on the birth certificate two days earlier. They showed me the birth certificate that had Stacy's name on it... You know what the saddest part was, I didn't even know her last name until that day."

"What did you do? I think I would have passed out!" Nikki says, still in shock at the strange story unfolding before her.

He laughs at that. "I didn't know what to do. I just remember thinking, Oh my God, what will my father think? I know he wants to think he raised me to be a better man... but obviously he didn't" he says sadly, shaking his head. "Of course I questioned it, and they did this blood test on me and said that I was definitely her father."

"Thats, quite the story." Nikki says, unsure of what she should say.

"I know, some days when I go to sleep, I hope I'll wake up and its just a dream, but its not, its my life. I think what hurts me the most is that I wasn't there when Bailee was born. I didn't get to prepare for her, and get excited and count down the days until she arrived. I was an instant father; my world changed that day."

"Do you regret Bailee?"

He looks down at his hands and sighs. "I did, at first. Because I thought it was unfair. I didn't ask for this child, you know? I was angry at myself, angry at Stacy...but one day I looked into that baby's eyes and something just clicked and I knew then that it was it was the baby that didn't ask for me. And from that point on, I vowed to do right by my daughter because she didn't ask to be brought into this world, but I was happy that she was here."

"I think I need another drink." he says a few minutes later, leaving Nikki sitting on the sofa alone. "You can drink all you want, but it wont change the facts." she says to him from the living room. He turns around briefly, saying, "I know, but it numbs its for a little while."

"I know its hard." Nikki says, placing her hand over his when he sits back down. He laces their fingers together, causing her heart to flutter. It was a strange feeling, much like the one she felt when he had touched her shoulder earlier. She closes her eyes, pushing the feeling aside, falling for him was the last thing she needed to do.
She pulled her hand out of his grasp and scooted down the sofa, trying to put some distance between them. Leland only took it as a cue to lay his head in her lap. "Stay with me tonight?" he says a moment later, absentmindedly picking at a loose string on her dress.

Her instincts were saying, "Run and don't look back!. But those big, sad brown eyes were staring up at her, pleading with her to stay.

"You're making it very hard to say no." she says looking down at him. He lets out a loud laugh.

"What?" she asks, laughing with him.

"I was gonna say you're making me hard...but I didn't want to be inappropriate." he says, causing her to blush.

"I thought you didn't care about being appropriate." Nikki says pulling his hair out of its ponytail. Her heart was telling her not to cross that line, but he was drunk and she hoped he wouldn't remember much, if anything he said or did tonight.

"You know, I'm not always like this." he says turning onto his side, facing her.

"You mean vulnerable?" she asks, running her hands through his hair, pulling apart the braid. "You look like a different person with your hair down." Nikki says, holding the soft brown hair in her hand for a moment, before letting it fall across her thigh.

"Sometimes I get really scared." he admits, closing his eyes. "Scared of what?" she asks, curiously, waiting for an answer while studying his face.

Just when she thought he might have fallen asleep he says, "Of everything. Scared that my daughter wont like me, or that I'm not a good father. I'm scared that one day I might not come home and I don't know who would take care of my baby. I'm all that she has." he says sadly before a few tears run down his cheek.

Nikki's hand is on his cheek before she knows it, wiping the tears away. "I'm sorry that you're sad." she says sweetly, trying to blink away her own tears, silently cursing him for making her cry. "It wont always be this hard, I promise." she says, stroking his face with her fingertips.

"Its easier now that Bailee has you." Leland says yawning and blinking a few times before drifting off to sleep.