Take It out on Me

These past two weeks have been absolutely hectic, I was working on my new album, getting everything ready to move in with Jonathan in California. My mom and dad both kept telling me it was a bad idea. Little did i know they were right. I just kept telling them that they were wrong, as they were helping me get my things into my truck. I wasn't flying to California, because I wouldn't be able to bring half of my things, so i decided to drive.
I said my goodbyes, even though with as much stuff that goes on in my life id be back often.
I waved to everyone as i pulled out of the driveway, and took off. The next 24 hours were boring as all hell. Driving almost non-stop all the way from Dallas,TX to Los Angeles,CA. Good thing i had good music, my dog and many many phone calls along the way.
I reached Jonathan's house around 9:30AM that morning, his daughter Ava ran outside for a hug.
All of his band mates followed after her, and started helping get my stuff inside.
Its crazy how i went to being friends with Hollywood Undead to Josh Hamilton’s daughter then to Sophie Lynn, what other surprises was my life going to throw at me.
________
~~~FAST FORWARD 3 MONTHS~~~~
I was sitting in the living room working on another song, waiting for the laundry to get done.
Jonathan was STILL sleeping, even at 5 in the afternoon. I guess that's what happens when you stay out all night partying. Its starting to become an everyday thing, kinda pissing me off. I sat there remembering my dad saying ‘I love you honey, but i think this is a bad idea. You know how i feel about his intentions with you’ i began thinking that he was right, as much as i hated to say it, he was.
I was pulled from my thoughts by the dryer buzzing off. I jumped off the couch to get them before they started to wrinkle. I threw them in the basket, switched the ones in the washer to the dryer and started another load.
As I was putting clothes into the washer, i made sure to check the pockets for anything that would mess up the washer. I reached into the pocket of the pants, i felt some what felt like paper. I pulled it out and threw it on the dryer, not thinking anything of it and continued.
After getting the laundry into the washer I started to make dinner knowing Ava would be here soon, and that he would be up soon. As i was making dinner, the paper on the dryer started to cross my mind.
I pulled away from the stove back into the laundry room and grabbed it off the dryer and shoved it into my pocket.
The noodles for spaghetti were done, so i set them aside and headed to the bathroom.
I closed the door and locked it, i pulled the paper out of my pocket as i sat down. I slowly opened, it read ‘Had a great night last night. See you tonight again (: Jessica’
I just sat there staring at it, i didn't cry or even think about crying, hell i wasn't even mad. For some reason i knew this was happening, but stupid me let it happen.
I knew I needed to confront him about it, but i couldn't with Ava here. It would have to wait until tomorrow.
I shoved it back into my pocket and walked out of the bathroom like nothing was wrong, after so many years as a young teen pretending like nothing was wrong you become a pro at it.
I walked into the kitchen to start making the plates, i saw him at the stove making his own plate.
“Asia called, Ava is sick, she's not coming tonight” he said as he finished making his plate
“Wasn't expecting you to be up yet. I hope she starts to feel better, its fun having her here” I laughed as i got a plate out of the cabinet and started making my own plate.
Dinner was silent, he looked like he was still pretty hungover. He finished his plate and went back into the bedroom. As i finished my plate i heard the shower turn on.
I cleaned the dishes, counter and put everything away by the time he was out of the shower and back down stairs.
“Going out again?” I regretted it as soon as it came out
“Yeah actually I am? care to try and stop me?” He gave me an evil look
“No i was just asking. damn” I said as i sat down on the couch and turned on my laptop
“Whatever. Don't call I won't answer.”He said opening the front door.
“Alright. Have a good night with Jessica” I said as he was about to close the door.
“What the hell did you just say to me?” He walked in front of me demanding an answer.
“I said have a good night with Jessica” I said as i felt his fist connect with my right eye.
“I heard what you said you cunt” He spat at me
"You son of a bitch" I screamed at him as I flew over the coffee table taking swings at him, connecting the majority of them. I hear his nose crack, I kept on till he was able to throw me off
He started to bleed immediately, i didn't even care. I was so sick of this so called ‘relationship’
"You're going to regret this" I spat,
"Whatever we're not done here"
He just walked out of the house, slamming the door. I heard him start his truck and drive off. I sat on the couch for a good 15 minutes before I decided to see how big of a bruise i had.
I walked into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, no surprise it was already starting to turn blue.
I tried to cover it up the best i could do for now, knowing it was only going to get worse. i walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, opening the closet I saw to luggage bags in the corner.
I threw them on the bed and starting throwing my things into them. After making a walk around the house to make sure i wasn't leaving anything, knowing i wasn't coming back. I walked outside with my things and threw them into the backseat of my truck.
As I crawled into the cab of my truck, i started to realize what i was actually doing. Part of me wanted to go back inside and act like nothing happened, that other part wanted to just drive off and not look back.
I grabbed my key and walked back inside. I snatched a pen and paper from the desk in the corner of the living room and started writing.
‘ Dear Douchebag,
I told you that if you ever did it again you'd regret it. I wasnt lying, also have fun explaining that broken nose to the guys. Have fun with Jessica(: ‘
I left it right there on the kitchen table, walking away slamming the front door.
As I was leaving i phoned Asia.
A: hey, what's going on?
S: Uhm, just things. I wouldn't bother bringing Ava over to Jonathan's tomorrow.
A: Whys that?
S: Because he probably going to be really drunk and fucked up and extremely pissed off.
A: You left his ass didnt you?
I could hear the happiness in her voice, i knew she wasn't happy because she wanted him back but because she knew how he was and didn't want me going through it like she had too.
S: Yeah, im on my way home now
A: Good. Im proud of you, you deserve better than him.
S: Thanks, and you're right I do.
A: You should totally go for that one artist of yours, the one with the long hair and tattoos. He's kinda cute.
S: Oh trust me thats the first place i'm going when I get there. He's my go too guy
A: What do you mean your ‘go to’ guy?
S: You know exactly what I mean by that. He's always been there for me, plus i know he's crazy for me anyways.
A: You cheated on him?
S: It's not really cheating if he's been cheating. Just saying...
A: Okay fair enough. Again i'm so proud of you, you truly deserve better than him. I have to go check on Ava, ill text you later.
With that we hung up, as I continued my 24 hour drive home. Ive done this drive so many times this past 3 months, that it seems to fly by. One week i did it 3 times, but every time i always came back. This time was different, i WASN'T coming back. I was done, i wasn't going to be in a abusive relationship any longer.
As Asia said I did deserve better, I looked into the rear view mirror and saw that my eye wasn't much darker. I pulled over and applied more makeup to cover it up. I started to yawn as I looked at the clock on my dashboard, 5:36AM
I was somewhere close to New Mexico, I stopped at the closest motel i could find. I didn't need an expensive one, anything would do.
I walked into the motel office, “room for one please” I said as I pulled my wallet out of my purse.
“Holy Shit, Youre Sophie Lynn” the girl at the counter said as she saw me
“Yes,and please Ill do anything for you to not put that im here online right now” I said to her
“I can do that, rooms on us” She smiled.
“No need. I will pay, when is check out” I said handing her two one hundred dollar bills, and a backstage for life pass. yes I actually have passes for backstage for life, things happen and I need to make it up to fans at times.
“check out is at 9AM, you can leave whenever you like” She smiled as I handed her the money and pass.
“thanks. Keep the change and put the name under “Rebecca Brown ” I said smiling at her “Also if anyone comes looking for me, you never saw me” I smiled as I took the room key from her.
I knew that even if he came looking he wouldn't think about looking for that name, I hoped not.
I pulled my truck around back to my room, i locked it up and went into the room. It was nice a cozy, definitely nothing fancy. I needed something non fancy for once.
I went and hopped into the shower, i was in there until the hot water gave out.
I dried off and crawled into bed, it was hard for me to fall asleep due to the pain in my eye. I was finally able to ignore the pain and drift off to sleep from being so tired.