Would You Fall Too?

Shuffling out of the bedroom, Emilie ensured that the door was pulled to before she padded towards the couch, settling against the plush pillows. It was late, she had waited until she was sure that Sergio was asleep before she’d moved, but she needed a minute to calm herself down. She knew that he wouldn’t put any pressure on her, after a year of dating, she was pretty aware of how their relationship worked, but still it concerned her. Things were moving along quickly, they lived together, were engaged, and the second Sergio had mentioned a baby, it had scared her. She was more than aware that she was nowhere near ready to be a mother.

Tugging at the shirt of Sergio’s she wore, she rested into the couch a little more, her hand finding her phone which sat on the coffee table so that she could send a text to Isla. She felt for her friend, from what she knew, Isla and Cristiano were as solid as anyone, and she hated that she didn’t noticed. For a while, Emilie had been absorbed in the goings on in her life and had been ignorant to things that were going on around her.

“Emmy?”

Emilie lifted her head at the sound of Sergio’s voice, her eyes peeking up at him as he rested against the bedroom doorframe.

“Are you alright, nena?” he posed sleepily.

Emilie nodded, but didn’t say anything, something which made Sergio sigh. He knew what that look meant. “Emilie” he complained softly.

“I’m sorry” Emilie murmured “I just…”

“You know I love you” Sergio interrupted as he stepped towards her, falling into the empty space at her side “And you know that you are what I want. I thought I made that clear” he added, his dark eyes peeking towards her.

“You have done” Emilie murmured “I just…I know that you could do better, you’ve done better before, and I worry about getting in too deep” she murmured.

“Too deep?” Sergio spluttered “We’re fucking engaged, Emmy. I think we’re past too deep” he added, his frustration clear in his voice.

Emilie shifted a little in her seat, something which made Sergio shake his head. “You have got to stop thinking about us this way, Emmy. You’re not some transition I have until I find another Pilar, you’re the woman I want to spend my life with and I really don’t know what else you want me to do to show that to you. I. Love. You” he stressed, gripping her hands so that she looked at him. He was tired of it, needing to reassure her that she was what he wanted, and he didn’t quite know how many more times he could go in the same circle. His actions from the minute that they had met had confided just how much that he wanted to be with her and he didn’t see why he needed to keep telling her. To him, the engagement ring she wore on her hand was enough proof of just how he felt about her.

Emilie looked up at him, her blue eyes shy.

“Fuck, Emmy” he cursed “I am sick of this” he added, frustrated.

“I just don’t want you to be stuck” Emilie returned “You’re an amazing man and you don’t need to be stuck with someone like me” she added.

“Stuck? Someone like you? Who the hell do you think I am, Emmy?” he snapped “I am your Sese, your boyfriend, and in the last 12 months, I haven’t looked anywhere else. Even when we were going through that phase as friends, I knew what I wanted and I don’t think this is about me anymore. What is it that you want, Emmy?” he posed, his brown eye boring into hers.

Emilie blinked. “Sergio….”

“No” Sergio interrupted “You’re not going to convince me that this is about you being scared about me leaving. So talk to me, Emmy. What is it?” he snapped.

“Sergio…”

“Emilie, what is going through that head of yours?” he interjected.

“Sergio…”

“No…”

“I don’t know that I want to do this anymore” Emilie spluttered.

Sergio’s jaw fell a little slack, his words dying on his tongue as a silence settled over them for a few moments.

“I…I…” Emilie stammered.

“What do you mean you don’t know if you want to do this anymore?” Sergio muttered, not moving his stare away from the floor.

“I…I thought I could do it” she spluttered, her hand wiping underneath her eyes as she tried to keep her tears under control “I thought I was ready for all the things you are, but moving in together, then getting engaged, and then your mention of a baby earlier….I’m scared, Sese, I don’t know if I can….”

“Why did you say yes?” he interrupted, his voice cold, the coldest she’d ever heard it.

“I…”

Sergio shook his head. “Stop. I don’t want to hear it” he muttered “What the hell was the plan, Emmy?” he countered, his eyes glancing over at her “Were you going to leave me at the altar or just lead me on for the rest of our lives?” he added.

Emilie merely swallowed wordlessly, something which made him shake his head, scoffing. “I’m going to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. I’d expect you to be gone by the time I get back tomorrow morning, and I’d like that back” he noted with a cold look towards the ring she wore.

Emilie sniffed. “Sese” she protested.

“No” he returned “You said you didn’t know if you could do it, so I am making the call for you. I am sick of going in circles here, Emmy. If you don’t know by now, then you’re never going to know and I am not going to hang around and let you lead me on forever more. I thought we had something here, something spectacular, but you not knowing pretty much ruins it. I know what I want, I know where I want to go, and I can’t wait for you to catch up because if this last year has shown me anything, it is that you never will. I wish you the best, Emmy” he noted before he kissed her cheek, ducking out of the room and closing the door with an audible thump that made Emilie jump before she sunk back into the couch, tears slipping soundlessly down her cheeks.

She knew that it was done, the look on Sergio’s face had made that more than clear to her, and she knew that it was on her, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Her hesitation had more than likely cost her something she was never going to be able to replace.