Like I Would

18

We came back to the church, after waiting for Jordan and Henry, and I was ushered into Henry and Linda’s truck. Jordan crawled into the backseat next to me, letting me curl into him for the half-hour drive down the familiar gravel road to their home.

Marc’s vehicle wasn’t in sight yet, so they ushered me into the house, and Jordan went digging for something for me to wear. He came back with a massive pair of sweats and a Penguins T-shirt, his expression sheepish. I insisted it was fine, and although I had to roll the waist of the sweats a few times, and pull the drawstring as tight as it would go, they were much more comfortable than the dress and heels.

“Here, you two make yourselves comfortable, maybe put on a movie,” Linda insisted, and Jordan all but picked me up and carried me to the couch, wrapping me in a blanket and pulling me onto his lap as he channel surfed. I didn’t resist, I was so emotionally exhausted my body felt like lead, and I felt too empty to move. The slight commotion that was everyone else arriving wasn’t enough to make my body cooperate. But I could tell when Marc sat down beside us, and felt his arms wrap around me before he pulled me from his brothers’ lap to his.

“How you holding up?” he asked, and all I could do was look up at him. He nodded, his golden eyes seeing right through me like they always had. He kissed the top of my head before tightening his grip and resting his chin on top of my head as he let himself zone out. Parker crawled on the couch with us, Tanya and Eric sat down at our feet with Levi, and Jared and Natalie joined in. It was quiet, and then I realized that Angie was nowhere to be seen. I felt awful, because Marc and I’s relationship had just snapped back to high school, and we’d always been closer than the average friends. I didn’t want her to think I was impeding on their relationship, and I didn’t want to make her feel out of place. Even if she wasn’t my favorite person in the world, no one deserved that.

“Are you guys hungry? Should I make something to eat?” Linda posed a quiet question that seemed to echo through the room. Tanya nodded, squeezing my knee before she got up to go and help. Natalie wrapped her arms around me and pressed her forehead to mine before following suit. Marc rubbed my back, and in that moment I knew he wasn’t paying attention to the TV anymore. I looked up and my gaze met his, the same pain that was eating at me echoed onto his handsome features.
“You know you’ll feel better if you have something to eat,” he whispered, and I nodded, although food was the last thing on my mind. Even if it was Linda’s amazing cooking.

We were herded into the kitchen a while later, a chair pulled out for me between Marc and Eric, and between the two of them all but forcing me I managed to get some food down. All I wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry and sleep and stay there. And while the Staals knew it, it didn’t change the fact they were going to try and take care of me the best they could.

“Here, I made you some tea,” Natalie spooked me a little as she walked over and sat down beside me, and I could tell from the expression on her face she felt terrible.

“Sorry, I zoned out. Thank you so much,” I managed a weak smile and accepted the mug, the familiar smell of chamomile reaching my nose.

“How did you know? This is my favorite,” I somehow found the humor to tease her, and saw her face go red.

“It’s uh… it was in an interview you did… sorry if that’s weird,” she mumbled, staring at her feet. I stood up and instead wrapped her in a hug, glad that she’d been thoughtful enough to do something like this for me, even if it was a bit unorthodox.

“It’s fine. Thank you so, so much,” I assured her, and she hugged me back tightly.

“You don’t have any brothers or sisters?” she asked, settling down onto the couch beside me.
Marc had gone to try and comfort his fiancé, something that had an unsettling feeling deep in my stomach. I tried to ignore it and focus on my tea and getting to know Jared’s fiancé instead, but my intuition had an uncanny knack of being right.

“No – my mum got very sick right after she had me, and she passed away when I was still a baby, so…” I always felt weird talking about it. Everyone expected it to be so hard and difficult, but in a way I’d always felt a little detached. I’d never known her; I only knew the stories dad told me and the pictures he showed me. And very, very few of those pictures included both my mother and me. I’d just hardly turned a year old when she passed away.

“Oh my goodness, that’s… I’m sorry,”

“It’s all right. I mean, I grew up not really knowing any differently, you know? My dad missed her a lot though, talked about her and told me stories and showed me pictures and stuff, but it still wasn’t… wasn’t like reminiscing over someone I knew, if that makes sense. Then Marc and I became friends, and suddenly I pretty much had brothers and Linda and Henry kind of became second parents. That’s the first time I knew what it was like to even sort of have a mum,” I explained, feeling self conscious because I’d never out and out admitted it to anyone before.

“She’s amazing – I couldn’t have ever asked for a better woman to get to call my mother in law,” Natalie agreed, relaxing slightly when we found some common ground. I thought she was still slightly embarrassed over the interview/tea thing, but to me it was just as thoughtful as if she’d gone and asked Linda or Marc what my favorite was.

“She’s the best,” I agreed, and after a second, for some reason, we both giggled.

“So you and Marc were best friends in high school? I mean I kind of remember you, but we never really hung out or anything,”

“Yeah, like glued together at the hip best friends,” I confirmed, making her smile a little. “We just… fit, if that makes sense. We got along like we’d known each other our whole lives, had the same sense of humor and interests, and Dad loved him. We were always at each others’ houses, and dad would make us supper or offer to help out with both of our homework or Marc’s hockey or whatever, and he’d drive me out for hours to go watch some of Marc’s closer games. Marc was really the second kid he never had, and it meant the world to my dad that Marc shared that dynamic with him.”

“It’s been really hard on Marc, and I guess I never realized just how close you two were. I mean, I obviously understood him being upset over the news, but this… this is like him losing his dad too,” she sighed, and I nodded.

“I just wish I could make it easier on him,” I mumbled, my chest aching a little more for the boy I’d loved for as long as I’d known him. I’d always hated seeing him in pain.

“You really care about him, don’t you?” Natalie whispered, and I froze. Immediately paralyzed with fear, and I didn’t even know what to say.

“It’s okay Carly; I’d never say anything. I mean, with you two being that close, I don’t know how you wouldn’t like him. Marc’s an amazing guy,” she shrugged, leaning in and pulling me into a hug so nobody else would hear her.

“An amazing guy with a fiancé,” I reminded her, and she let out a huff.

“One who doesn’t deserve him,” she mumbled, and my eyes shot open as I openly stared at her. I’d never expected this from the girl who was soon to be Marc’s sister-in-law; surely all the Staal women got along.

“What?”

“You probably know it better than I do Carly; you knew her in high school. She hasn’t really changed. All I know is that it kills Marc that she doesn’t seem interested in doing stuff here, or talking about their future or planning their wedding. They’ve been engaged for almost two years, without so much as setting a date. Marc wants a family and someone who will love his family the way Tanya and I do, you know? She’s never going to give him that. And to make it worse, she’s really all he knows, so she’s positive she can get away with it and he won’t leave her,” she explained, leaving me too mystified for words. So there was more to it than just what little Marc had told me before.

“That’s awful… nobody should have to be stuck with being unhappy,” she nodded, and sighed.

“It’s not like we can say anything, he has to figure it out himself, you know? It isn’t fair to either of them,” she ran a hand through her hair and let out a long breath. “And besides, he cares a lot about you too. That’s got her in an even worse huff because now he’s spending time with you and paying attention to you.”

“She hated that in high school,” I allowed, and then groaned internally. The last thing we should be doing is gossiping about Marc’s fiancé.

“What?”

“I shouldn’t even be talking about this,” I winced, and Natalie nodded.

“I know, but sometimes it’s hard not to. I mean, we’ve all tried to make her feel welcome and at home and she just ignores all of it, then tries to drag Marc to every and anything that her family does. If she had her way none of us would ever get to see him,” she explained, and I grimaced again. Marc’s family was everything to him.

“In high school she hated we were so close too. She did everything she could to try and keep all of his attention on her, or to try and make me jealous or mad or something and drive me away,” Natalie’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

“No… and he still stayed with her?”

“He didn’t know. She wouldn’t have done anything like that with him around,” I merely shrugged, not knowing what else to say. I’d never understood girls like that, and probably never would.

We chatted idly for a few minutes until our tea had gone cold, and we heard footsteps come to the edge of the living room.

“Sorry… Nat I’m gonna head to bed… you gonna be up much longer?” I recognized Jared’s voice, and while she gave me a pained look I ushered her up. She had a lot on her mind with their wedding details, and undoubtedly this had been a rollercoaster rough day for them just as it had been for me. They were both exhausted and I didn’t want them to feel like they had to go so far out of their way for me.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Thanks a million for the tea,” I assured her, and after a hug she got up and followed the youngest Staal out the door.

I stayed curled up for a few moments, not sure what I should do; if I should ask about going back home, which I didn’t really care to do, but I didn’t want to invite myself to stay here and intrude more than I already had. I was so deep in my own little world I hardly noticed the voices coming from upstairs until they’d reached a shouting decibel. Then I froze.

The shouting was Angie, and the much quieter, but just as frustrated voice, was Marc.

Linda and Henry came into the living room, shock all over their faces as Jordan soon came upstairs to see what the commotion was too. He swallowed hard, obviously feeling as awkward as we all felt as the voices gained volume. I buried myself in my blanket, trying to block out their argument as best as I could. It wasn’t for all of us to hear, but Angie liked attention and drama, and if everyone knew how she felt then they’d act the way she wanted them to. It had worked for her in high school and was obviously still working to some effect for her now.

It was moments later that there was movement, and then she was stomping down the stairs, her blonde hair in a mess and her mascara running. She stopped when she saw us in the living room, before her gaze zeroed in on me.

“I hope you’re happy. You think you’re so important because you live in London and people pay to take pictures of you – but it doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, a home wrecker is still a home wrecker,” she spat at me, before hauling her bag with her out the door, slamming it behind her and taking off in Marc’s vehicle. I was left in stunned silence – what had come up between them that she would accuse me of that?

“W-what?” I realized the whisper had come from me, before I looked up to Henry and Linda, as if they could give me some insight.

“I don’t know sweetheart,” Linda allowed, before sitting down hard beside me and pulling me into her arms.

“Did… did anything happen to make her go off?” the question was soft and tentative, and I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat as I wracked my brain for anything.

The kiss.

But I couldn’t tell the two people who I held in as high of regard as my parents that. And besides, Marc had kissed me, I’d told him it was a bad idea and that we should forget it. It was over and done with, right?

“I don’t think so,”
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:)