Like I Would
3
Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I knew I should’ve ducked or anything when I saw the unmistakable Jared Staal walk into the pizza place downtown. I’d gone to pick up an early supper, and was waiting for them to be finished when he and his fiancé arrived. I vaguely remembered her from school – she was even prettier now, if that was possible – and it had taken all of two seconds for them to recognize me. I didn’t look anything like I had in high school, or even at my graduation, but Jared’s eyes had zeroed in on me as if I’d only been gone a few weeks. The surprise and shock was written all over his features, while it took Natalie a few seconds before she elbowed him lightly in the ribs and whispered to him. I pretended to miss the exchange, hoping he’d explain who I was and they’d go about their business. I wasn’t so lucky.
She’d came up and introduced herself, and I tried my best to put on my game face and have a pleasant conversation. Really and in truly she’s a wonderful girl – she was a fashion fanatic and had even followed a bit of my work from Fashion week, which was weird but nice at the same time. It connected my two seemingly separate lives.
Then of course I had to ask. I just had to pipe up about their wedding and nearly send the poor thing into waterworks not unlike the ones I was trying to hold back. She explained that everything was going wrong – that their so called ‘planner’ had screwed nearly everything possible up and now they had a mere three weeks to figure it all out.
And, of course, not wanting to see her in such distress, I offered to help. Her face lit up, and she pulled me into a hug immediately, gushing over how amazing I was to offer and what a lifesaver I was, while shock was still all over Jared’s face, where he remained silent beside us.
Finally, it occurred to him I must be home for a reason, and the unavoidable question was out. The silence that fell between the three of us was thick, like you could cut it with a knife, before I managed to choke out that my dad had passed away. It was as if he broke, his shoulders falling, collapsing on himself as his features softened. It reminded me so much of the last time I saw Marc – down to the red hair and light smattering of freckles across his cheeks – that I couldn’t hold my tears at bay any more. The combination of the two were too much, that losing my dad and reliving the pain that was losing Marc broke down the little defense I’d managed to put up. He pulled me into a rough hug, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ over and over while I struggled to not make a scene, Natalie’s hand on my back as she tried to help comfort me.
Thankfully my order was announced, and I was allowed to make an exit. Natalie insisted I didn’t need to help them, that I had more than enough to worry about, but of course, I refused. I told her it would help keep my mind off of things, that maybe it would be good, and while she looked concerned I ended things at that. I’d learned the hard way that being strong was sometimes more important than feeling, and that sometimes you have to fake it to make it. This, I decided, was going to be one of those times.
She’d came up and introduced herself, and I tried my best to put on my game face and have a pleasant conversation. Really and in truly she’s a wonderful girl – she was a fashion fanatic and had even followed a bit of my work from Fashion week, which was weird but nice at the same time. It connected my two seemingly separate lives.
Then of course I had to ask. I just had to pipe up about their wedding and nearly send the poor thing into waterworks not unlike the ones I was trying to hold back. She explained that everything was going wrong – that their so called ‘planner’ had screwed nearly everything possible up and now they had a mere three weeks to figure it all out.
And, of course, not wanting to see her in such distress, I offered to help. Her face lit up, and she pulled me into a hug immediately, gushing over how amazing I was to offer and what a lifesaver I was, while shock was still all over Jared’s face, where he remained silent beside us.
Finally, it occurred to him I must be home for a reason, and the unavoidable question was out. The silence that fell between the three of us was thick, like you could cut it with a knife, before I managed to choke out that my dad had passed away. It was as if he broke, his shoulders falling, collapsing on himself as his features softened. It reminded me so much of the last time I saw Marc – down to the red hair and light smattering of freckles across his cheeks – that I couldn’t hold my tears at bay any more. The combination of the two were too much, that losing my dad and reliving the pain that was losing Marc broke down the little defense I’d managed to put up. He pulled me into a rough hug, whispering ‘I’m sorry’ over and over while I struggled to not make a scene, Natalie’s hand on my back as she tried to help comfort me.
Thankfully my order was announced, and I was allowed to make an exit. Natalie insisted I didn’t need to help them, that I had more than enough to worry about, but of course, I refused. I told her it would help keep my mind off of things, that maybe it would be good, and while she looked concerned I ended things at that. I’d learned the hard way that being strong was sometimes more important than feeling, and that sometimes you have to fake it to make it. This, I decided, was going to be one of those times.