Status: fin.
Manipulation.
I Ain't Never Coming Back
Was he a lunatic? I mean, it sounded crazy, but at the same time, that family’s reaction was almost instantaneous to my focus. It didn’t prove anything, but it kind of made me suspicious, which I hated myself for. The rantings of some guy I had never met in a town I had only lived in for a few days shouldn’t have affected me at all, but I couldn’t get Ray’s words out of my head.
I searched my past like watching a VHS tape rewind - it made no sense, and frankly, it made my head hurt. I couldn’t think of another time when this had happened, but at the same time, maybe I didn’t want to think about it at all. Either way, I couldn’t shut my brain off as much as I tried and it was killing me. Even in this dead, small town, I couldn’t quiet my head. Maybe I wasn’t far enough off the map.
It was possible that I could manipulate other people’s feelings, after experiencing them for myself. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like knowing something new about myself, if it even was true. Possibly figuring this out was just driving me further and further away from people. Even in a town so small, the life was suffocating me.
I needed to get out. I don’t know if I wasn’t planning on leaving permanently or what, but I didn’t grab much out of the apartment besides my car keys. The job applications stayed unfilled on the counter, and I didn’t give them a second glance as I closed the door behind me.
My head was pounding and the only way I knew to clear it was to leave. So, I left. Or, I tried to. I didn’t get out of town before I realized that I needed gas, so I found the nearest station and went inside to pre-pay for the pump, and grab a cup of coffee. But of course, as I went to leave the shop.
“I’m a friend of Ray’s,” he said, and I looked down to meet his eyes. I think that was the first time I ever really considered punching someone in the face. I just wanted out.
I searched my past like watching a VHS tape rewind - it made no sense, and frankly, it made my head hurt. I couldn’t think of another time when this had happened, but at the same time, maybe I didn’t want to think about it at all. Either way, I couldn’t shut my brain off as much as I tried and it was killing me. Even in this dead, small town, I couldn’t quiet my head. Maybe I wasn’t far enough off the map.
It was possible that I could manipulate other people’s feelings, after experiencing them for myself. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like knowing something new about myself, if it even was true. Possibly figuring this out was just driving me further and further away from people. Even in a town so small, the life was suffocating me.
I needed to get out. I don’t know if I wasn’t planning on leaving permanently or what, but I didn’t grab much out of the apartment besides my car keys. The job applications stayed unfilled on the counter, and I didn’t give them a second glance as I closed the door behind me.
My head was pounding and the only way I knew to clear it was to leave. So, I left. Or, I tried to. I didn’t get out of town before I realized that I needed gas, so I found the nearest station and went inside to pre-pay for the pump, and grab a cup of coffee. But of course, as I went to leave the shop.
“I’m a friend of Ray’s,” he said, and I looked down to meet his eyes. I think that was the first time I ever really considered punching someone in the face. I just wanted out.
♠ ♠ ♠
I really did want this to be longer than it's going to be. Sorry, I guess. I'm not having the easiest time getting this one out - starting college is taking all of my energy and focus.