Nope and Nope

“I swear on my life,” Kellin mutters as ze folds a bunch of t-shirts, “the next person who misgenders me today is going to get their foot broken.”

Zir coworker, Nick, pops his head out from behind one of the jewelry displays (he’s short enough that he could probably hide behind them the whole time). “Rough day?” he guesses.

“You bet your ass,” Kellin replies, groaning in frustration when the t-shirts end up wrinkled and ze has to fold them all over again because ze was too focused on despising the world. “I thought I’d mastered the gender-nonconforming look. I thought for sure I’d confuse people to the point where they’d have no choice but to ask. But no. ‘Ask that girl if you can try those pants on.’ ‘That guy over there has weird hair.’ Nope and nope.”

Kellin’s gender is kind of a weird subject for zir, mostly because, well, ze doesn’t have one. Nick is one of the only people who has always accepted Kellin’s identity without question, so ze feels safe ranting to him. Which is a good thing, because the two of them work shitty jobs at the Hot Topic in their local mall, and Kellin is being stuck with words like “guy” and “girl” and “he” and “she,” and ze really isn’t in the mood to deal with that bullshit right now.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Nick says as he walks around to the main counter, “the other day a friend of mine told me that you were making him question his sexuality because he wasn’t sure what your gender was. I tried to explain it to him, but apparently, that only made him question it even more.”

Kellin laughs a little. “Success.” Ze still wants to break someone’s foot, but slightly less now.

It hasn’t been a particularly busy day, so the store has been pretty much empty the entire time that ze’s been ranting, but when ze glances over at the main entrance, ze notices someone coming in, and ze groans inwardly. Now ze has to pretend to be straight and cis.

“Hello and welcome to Hot Topic,” ze calls pleasantly, immediately rattling off their current sales as ze makes zir way over. “Can I help you find anything,” ze finishes, “or are you just looking around?”

The person, who looks to be about Kellin’s age, bites their lip and shakes their head, seeming almost bashful. “Um, I think I’m just looking.”

“Okay,” Kellin says, focusing zir attention on adjusting another display and fixing the t-shirts that someone must’ve picked up and then put back. “If you need anything, just let me know.”

Ze tries to pretend that ze’s not at all interested, but the truth is, this person is quite adorable. Ze isn’t going to say that, though. Ze’s just going to observe as ze’s working.

The amusing thing about this person is that they seem reluctant, scared, constantly glancing over their shoulder before turning back to whatever they’re looking at. They walk around slowly but aimlessly, but they keep sneaking peeks over at the wall with all the dresses. It occurs to Kellin, then, that this person might be afraid of what ze or Nick might say. Ze doesn’t like gendering strangers, but ze knows that most people would look at this person and pin them as a guy in a matter of seconds, and if there’s one things that guys aren’t supposed to do according to society, it’s take an interest in dresses.

Casually, Kellin heads over to the dress section, walking with purpose. Sure enough, the person glances over their shoulder again and watches zir for a few moments, but ze pretends not to notice. After a couple of seconds, ze says, “The black one looks pretty nice, don’t you think?”

The person spins around fully at that, their cheeks turning slightly pink. “Um, yeah,” they agree, slowly walking over closer to the display. They stare intently, their gaze focusing on a black dress with red flowers, closer to the ground. “That one’s, um…that one’s pretty cool, too.”

Kellin’s pretty sure that that’s this person’s way of saying, “I want it. I want it now.”

“Yeah,” ze says. “I think you’d look good in it.”

Brief panic seems to flash across the person’s face. “I—um—who said this would be for me?” It’s pretty obvious, though, that they’re looking for dresses to wear.

Kellin shrugs. “Sorry, I just assumed,” ze says, playing along. “Do you know what size the person is? The person you’re getting this for?”

“Um…” The person bites their lip. “I think they’re the same size as me. But I don’t really know what size I am.”

Kellin raises an eyebrow. “You could try a few on? I think we’ve got most of the sizes in stock.”

The person’s face lights up at that, and Kellin guesses that that’s what they’ve been trying to get at, because they seem so genuinely excited. “Yeah! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

God, they’re adorable.

Kellin pulls a few sizes down and then shows the person over to the dressing room not too far away, unlocking it and gesturing inside. “Here you go,” ze says. “Have fun.”

The person just smiles at zir and rushes in, closing the door behind them.

Kellin returns to fixing messed up shirts and other random things that need to be done, and maybe five minutes later, ze sees the door to the dressing room swinging open, and the person looking at dresses timidly sticks their head out. Kellin makes eye contact with them, and they gesture for zir to come over. Ze does so, and when ze’s only a few feet away, the person opens the door a little bit more and says, “Sorry if this is annoying, but can you just tell me if this looks right?”

Kellin certainly wasn’t wrong when ze said ze thought they’d look good in the dress—in fact, they’re kind of gorgeous. “Oh, yeah,” ze says truthfully as the person spins around a bit to show all sides. “Whoever you’re getting that for, they’re gonna love it.”

The person makes a face, that brief expression of panic returning. “Um, yeah,” they say slowly. “About that…”

Kellin just laughs a little and leans casually against one of the displays. “You’re buying that for yourself, aren’t you?”

They sigh, brushing their fairly long hair out of their face and looking down at the floor in embarrassment. “I…yeah.”

“Hey, you don’t have to be embarrassed about it,” Kellin says reassuringly, and then ze decides to take a bit of a risk with what ze says next, because ze’s impulsive as hell, and besides, this person just radiates good vibes. “My trans ass isn’t gonna judge.”

The person’s eyes widen a bit, and then their mouth curves up into a hint of a smile. “You’re—?”

Kellin waves nonchalantly. “Yeah. My name’s Kellin. My pronouns are ‘ze’ and ‘zir,’ and I really like dogs. Your turn.”

The person’s smile gets wider, practically lighting up the entire store. “Um, I’m Vic. Pronouns are ‘she’ and ‘they.’ Either’s good. And I like sunsets.”

Kellin tries not to grin and fails horribly, because this never happens. Ze never finds another trans person, and ze never hits it off with anyone like this. Ze no longer wants to break someone’s foot.

Shortly after that, Vic heads back into the dressing room to change back into the clothes they were wearing, and then they both head over to the main counter so Kellin can ring the dress up. “Okay,” ze says. “Now this is the part where you give me your money. And your number.”

Vic blushes and giggles as they pull the money out of their wallet. “Wait, are you being serious about the number thing?”

“Well, yeah,” Kellin replies, as if it should be blatantly obvious. “Who wouldn’t be?”

The amount of disbelief on Vic’s face kind of breaks Kellin’s heart.

Once Vic pays for the dress and the two of them exchange numbers, Kellin waves, feeling a real, genuine smile sneak its way onto zir face for the first time today. “I’ll see you later, then?”

Vic nods, their face tinted pink and their eyes filled with something akin to joy. “Yeah,” they say, softly but with clear happiness shining through. “Anytime.”

It’s not until they’re out of the store and out of earshot that Nick pops up behind Kellin, scaring the shit out of zir with a blunt “That was probably the most eventful thing I’ve seen all day.”

Kellin laughs a little, trying to ignore the butterflies that have been dancing around in zir stomach. “Yeah,” ze says, and ze wants to hold back a smile, but ze just can’t pull it off; ze’s too obvious. So ze just smiles.

“I didn’t even know you liked girls,” Nick comments. “Or—not just girls, necessarily, but feminine people.”

“I’m pan, dude,” Kellin replies, resuming zir seemingly endless job of folding an endless amount of t-shirts. “Didn’t I ever tell you that?”

“Nope. In the time I’ve known you, I’ve only ever seen you date guys.” Nick shrugs. “Not that it matters, really. But I like this person. I feel like they’d be good for you.”

Kellin thinks back to the relationships ze’s had before, quickly realizing that all of them were with cis people. Some worked out a lot better than others, and ze’s still friends with a few of zir exes, but ze can also think of people ze dated who didn’t respect zir identity. Vic is a beautiful change of pace, and they definitely seem like someone who would respect zir. It’s a nice thought.

“Yeah,” ze says again, in response to what Nick said about Vic being good for zir. “I’m gonna call them tomorrow.”

At that moment, Kellin notices a few people at the front of the store, glancing over zir way when one of them says to another, “Just ask that guy over there.”

A third person lightly smacks the person who spoke. “That’s a girl.”

“Wait, it is?” the first person says.

Kellin’s need to break someone’s foot returns with a vengeance. Once again, nope and nope.

Ze lets the thought of Vic linger in the back of zir mind as ze’s dealing with these customers. Vic was a bright spot in an otherwise bleak day, and now Kellin just has to power through the rest of it, holding onto the thought of the person ze’ll be calling tomorrow.