Stronger

When they stepped into the house, they walked in cautiously. Richard, Victor, Marina and Melissa were scared to what they could possibly find. They were fine, telling stories about their childhood, each one of them, when Victor got a call from his eldest son who was crying, repeatedly saying Kellin’s name and pain and hurt.

“We’ll check the second floor and you ladies can check down here.” Richard said. When they went up, the two women walked into the kitchen quietly, gasping at the horror they found. There were bloody footprints on the white floor that led out of the room. Plates and cups were shattered and some of them bloody.

Melissa ran upstairs with Marina in tow and gasped when she saw the two men struggling to bring in Kellin’s limp body. She broke down in tears when she saw his bloody feet and knuckles. “My baby!” she cried. Once they brought him in carefully and placed him on the bed, she ran up to his side and hugged him. “He’s cold! Someone get me a blanket! Hurry!” Richard ran out of the room and retrieved the blanket.

“Melissa,” he said carefully as she wrapped up her only child. “We’re going to take him to the hospital ok? They have to get the glass out of his feet.” she began shaking her head no. “Melissa, if they don’t do it, the glass can cut a nerve and Kellin will never forgive us if they cut off his foot.” Victor gently pulled her away as Richard picked up Kellin and walked downstairs. They all got into the car and drove to the hospital.

*

“Hello?”

“Michael, where’s Vic?”

“In his room drinking. Why?”

“I need you guys to come down to the hospital, right now.”

“Is everything alright?”

“I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

Mike hung up and ran up to Vic’s room, knocking on the door rapidly. “Vic, I know you’re in here!”

“What?” Vic said with anger after he opened his door. He had a brown bag in his hand and a cigarette in the other.

“Dad wants us to go to the hospital.”

“Why?” Vic asked as he took a drag.

“I don’t know, he didn’t tell me.”

“Then I don’t have to go.”

“Vic, dad wants us there!” Mike shouted.

“Ok, ok, chill out damn.” Vic replied while he slipped his shoes on.

“Leave the beer.” With a roll of his eyes, Vic left placed it leaning against his wall. When they got downstairs, Vic reached for the keys only for them to be taken away.

“Like hell you’ll be driving. I want to live thank you very much.”

“What? I didn’t even drink that much!”

“Don’t you listen to the commercials, buzzed driving is drunk driving.”

“Weren’t you taught to never believe everything you hear?” Mike rolled his eyes and turned on the car. “Why are we going to the hospital?” Vic asked as he buckled up.

“I told you dad didn’t tell me.” Mike said, reversing out of the driveway. “But whatever it is, it must’ve been bad.”

“Why do you say that?”

“He sounded worried.”

“I mean, he had to go to the hospital Mikey, of course it’ll sound bad. But you’ll see it’ll be nothing.”

“So what happened after we left?” Mike said a few seconds later, trying to start a conversation.

“What do you mean?”

“Did you talk to Kellin like you wanted to?” Vic ignored Mike and looked out the window. “Vic, please tell me you talked to him.” again, Mike was ignored. “Are you serious?” Mike said with an irritated tone. “You’re so fucking stupid I swear. I don’t wanna hear you complaining when he le-.”

“Shut up!” Vic groaned. “If you wanna know what happened then fine, I’ll tell you. I tried to talk him but he was being a pain in the ass and then I got irritated and tried leaving. He wouldn’t let me and I knew that if I didn’t leave, then I was gonna do something I regret. As I walked down the street, I heard him scream for me but I just couldn’t turn back. There, happy now? I told you what happened.”

“Why do I feel like there’s more to the story then you’re letting on?”

“Because there is and I’m done talking about it.”

Vic did the right thing. He hopes. Like, try looking at it through his point of view, he left a situation that could’ve resulted in a fucking war zone and at least now, he can have a good conscience knowing he didn’t do something he’d regret. He could’ve said words that could hurt Kellin (although he already did) or he could’ve hit Kellin (though he’d never stoop to that level). Vic picked the best choice even if it hurt to hear Kellin cry out for him.

When Mike pulled up to the hospital garage, he called his dad. “We’re here, where are you?”

“Meet me in the lobby then I’ll tell you boys what happened.” When they got to the lobby, they saw their dad sitting on one of the chairs. “Vic, what was the last thing you remember after leaving Richards house?”

“Why, what happened?”

“After you called me, we found Kellin passed-out on top of the roof but we also saw broken dishes on the floor of the kitchen along with bloody footprints. What happened?”

“I-I left. There wasn’t dishes or blood anywhere. When I called you, I was at home. Oh my god, is he ok?”

“He’ll be fine. He’s just getting stiches in his feet but he might stay here a bit so he can heal properly. C’mon, follow me.”

*

Kellin woke up with an itching, prickling feeling in his feet. When he tried to wiggle his toes, he felt pain. He looked around, trying to remember what happened. As he began fully waking up, he remembered his fight with Vic. No, he wasn’t going to leave things the way they had ended because learning from his mistakes; he knew that, that only caused pain. Kellin tried getting up again but felt something in his arm, on his finger and on his chest. He looked down and saw a hospital gown on him. He heard his door open and someone walk in, so he looked up and saw a nurse.

“Hi Kellin, how are you feeling?” she asked kindly.

“Confused.” Kellin replied.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Fighting with my bo- friend. I was fighting with my best friend. Why am I here? What happened?”

“You’re here because you parents and their friends found you on the roof with a bottle of beer while your feet bled due to the cuts.”

“Cuts? What cuts?”

“The cuts on the bottom of your feet were caused by glass. There was glass on the kitchen floor as far as I’m concerned and I assume as you looked for the alcohol that you must’ve stepped on the pieces.”

This sounded so strange to Kellin. He was smart enough to know that you should never walk over broken, pointy, hard things. He was trying to remember but he couldn’t. Maybe it was one of those blackout moments he’s heard of.

“Uh, you said parents, as in plural but the last thing I remember, my dad was the only parent I had here.”

“Would you like to see the people who brought you?” the nurse asked, completely ignoring Kellin’s question. Kellin nodded anyways. “Ok, I’ll send them in. press the red button if you need Me.” a few minutes later, the four adults stepped into the room, Kellin’s mom going to his side quickly.

“Kellin, baby, I was so worried! Are you ok?”

“Wh-why are you? How did you? What?” Kellin was confused and it wasn’t fun. “How’d you get here so quickly? You dropped me off at the airport yesterday.”

“We’ll talk about that later. Nevertheless, how are you feeling? Can you feel your feet?”

“Uh yeah, I can feel my feet but why do they hurt?”

“Baby, you had to get stiches on your feet. Vic called his dad and when we got to the house, we found broken dishes and blood, god there seemed to be so much blood, and they found you drunk on top of the roof. Kellin what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Kellin sighed. “The last thing I remember is trying to stop Vic from leaving and then that’s it.”

“Ok, well that’s fine, you just rest alright.”

“Where’s Vic though? Mom, I-I need to talk to him, apologize.”

“He’s outside. Do you want us to give you guys a moment?” Kellin nodded, so with a kiss on the forehead, his mom walked out with everyone else and Vic walked in shortly after. They stared at each other, neither of them knowing what to say. It felt awkward and they didn’t like that.

How does one explain the feeling of wanting to say something but not knowing how to say? It was as if all the right things to say felt like they’d be the wrong things to say. Nothing felt like it’d be fixed with a simple sorry.

Kellin didn’t feel bad for not knowing what he wanted because he’s young. He’s just finished college, getting his degree in photography, and he wanted to explore the world, fall in and out of love so many times, drive from coast to coast then giving up on that because he would feel homesick. How could he explain all that to Vic without coming across as too selfish?

Vic, on the other hand, felt like he was ready to settle down. He’s twenty-five and maybe other people thought that was too young but he wanted that. He wanted to come home from working at the gym to a husband and their kids; he wanted to wake up on Saturday mornings with the smell of pancakes and bacon; he wanted summer breaks to be filled with drives to the beach, cook outs, nightly walks around the town and backyard movie nights. But he wanted to experience that with Kellin, the boy who stole his heart.

“I’m sorry.” Kellin finally squeaked. Vic sighed as he walked closer to Kellin, standing at the foot of the bed. “You can sit next to me.”

“It’s better if I stood here,” Vic replied quietly. Kellin only nodded, looking down and playing with the corner of his blanket. “Because we’re going to have to talk Kellin. Whether we want to or not, it has to happen.”

“That’s the thing. We already talked before we had sex.” Kellin mumbled.

“Yeah, but things need to be clarified and we have to talk about what’ll happen now.”

“We did clarify shit Vic!” Kellin exclaimed. “It was because of Danielle and the fact that we didn’t ask each other directly that, things got complicated after you went to the hospital! What more do you want?”

“I want to know if you love me! I want to know if there’s a chance of us working out because if there isn’t then I don’t wanna waste my time with someone that doesn’t want me or that doesn’t see a future with me!” Vic shouted back. “Dammit Kellin I just want one fucking answer.” Vic said desperately. “Am I wasting my time?” Kellin began crying, trying to think of what to say.

“I-I love you Vic, but,” he started then said, “Vic I’m giving you your fucking answer! Don’t turn your back on me.” Vic couldn’t look at Kellin, feeling his tears starting to fall. After a few minutes, he turned around but looked at the floor instead. “I love you, but I don’t know what I see in my future. I’m too young to know if I can see myself with anyone in ten years, let alone three. The only thing I’m sure of is that I wanna explore different places, meet different people, have my heart broken and break hearts, and drive down the highway without a care in the world. I want to be able to feel free and not feel like I have to answer to anyone for anything I feel like doing.”

“Fine,” Vic replied, wiping his face. “Since you wanna break hearts you can say you’ve done that first because you broke mine. We both want two completely different things and it seems there’s no room for me in your plans. You don’t love me Kellin. You never loved me. This whole thing was just fun and games to you. You didn’t care if we were caught; you didn’t care if I was put in jail for having sex with a minor; no, all-little Kellin worried about was making sure he was fucked and satisfied without caring if someone fell in love with him. I should’ve said no from the beginning, should’ve made my dad get you another trainer because all you did was hurt me.” Vic walked up to Kellin and stood over him. “You hurt me so bad when you left, when you ignored me. I’ve never been able to get over that and then Jaime drags me with him to pick up a friend only for that friend to be you.”

“Vi-.” Kellin tried interrupting.

“Do you know how much it hurt me to see you again?” Vic said, speaking over him. “To hear your annoying voice and see your damn face again. It felt like knives were being twisted into my heart and stomach. Then you decided to get drunk and they made me watch you; I had to watch the way you laughed and giggled and I wanted to take my eyes out with chain saws but you what happened after that?” Vic said walking around to the other side, scaring Kellin in the process. “You got cuddly with me. You begged me to hold you, to hug you as you hugged me. My arms still burn with the feeling of your body being held with them. But you know what’s the saddest part, of all that pain you’ve caused me?” Kellin shook his head no. “The saddest part of that is that I’d do it all over again even if it killed me.” Vic whispered as he leaned in closer to Kellin’s face until their lips were brushing over each other. “You’ve turned me into a masochist and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Kellin said the only thing he could think of at that moment, “Kiss me.” Vic softly placed his lips against Kellin’s, pulling away after a few seconds. “Are you good?”

“Anything but.” Vic replied, placing his forehead against Kellin’s and closing his eyes.

“Are we good?” Kellin whispered, staring at Vic’s soft face.

“No.” Vic whispered back

“Do you think we’ll get there?”

“I hope so.” a small smile made its way onto Vic’s lips, making Kellin smile too.

And you know what? They were each content with that answer. Things would work out. Hopefully.