Overnight Sensation

It was an honest to God miracle that Bryan even obtained two full hours of sleep. She felt her guilt was literally eating her from the inside out, trying to devour this terrible person she somehow embodied. Her stomach was swirling itself into anxious, tight knots, her brain working in overdrive to work up of script for when she and William would meet up. Of course, it was no good then when Niall sent her another text - a simple one, asking if she was okay and if she had told William. Because Niall needed to know.

He hadn’t slept much either. Given, he hadn’t felt quite as guilty, but he still had a conscience, for god sake. The only person he could talk to was Harry, and it was too early in the day to deal with the boys lectures. Between tossing and turning himself uncomfortably on his otherwise comfortable bed, he had been trying to work out all his reservations about Bryan.

So, it wasn’t that he wasn’t interested in her. He had come to the conclusion he was scared. Not only because there was a fear that the feelings they had shared would dissipate if they spent more than a day together, but he realized it was also because he was scared he couldn’t secure the time for her. Yes, he was on a break, but he was still in the public eye, he still had managers and body guards, and my fucking god, he would never be ‘normal’, again. He meant normal in the sense that, who walks around with their own malita? That definitely couldn’t be classified as a normality in most of the worlds life.

It was a total contrast of what he felt. Mostly, he felt normal. When he was with his mates or with his family, he didn’t feel like Niall Horan from One Direction. He felt like Niall, the boy from Mullingar. And he was certainly aware that Bryan had made him feel like the simple boy he was at heart, save for the time she had drooled over Harry, but that wasn’t even the point.

At the same time that he wanted to pack his bags and head back to his flat in London a week before he was meant to, he was scared the two would be doomed. Like, how can you start a relationship based on a mistake? How can you take the feelings seriously if it started out so casual? He couldn’t really wrap his mind around it, so he just stopped trying.

He tried to think: what would Harry tell me?

And, okay, putting aside that Harry would tell him to stop meddling in an engaged couples love life (especially if it wasn’t over), he thought that maybe Harry would say something like:

You’re overthinking things, Niall. Life is never perfect - and just because it started with a fling, doesn’t mean its doomed. Love is love! The heart wants what the heart wants! Follow it! It’ll be fantastic because love is fantastic! All the love xx.

Yeah, that sounded about right.

Niall snorted out a laugh to himself as he pictured his curly haired friend speak with a passion only Harry could have for all things love. The boy had a heart too big for his own good in Nialls opinion.

Niall sighed to himself and sat up in bed, reaching for the phone he had tucked under his pillow and pressed his finger to the home button. He hadn’t really been expecting a text from her just yet - he could literally see in his mind how frantic with nerves she probably was and he decided he shouldn’t send another one. He was sure she had lost sleep over it.

Bryan also lost her mind - when William called her she left the apartment with her hair still in a messy bun, even more wreck from tossing all night and her pyjamas. She hadn’t even brushed her teeth, but she had only realized that as he stood in the elevator with a couple who had no qualms about staring her up and down. I mean, she probably did look kind of crazy as she gnawed on her lip.

At this point, she still hadn’t made up her mind.

She was attached to William, no matter how strongly she ever felt toward Niall and not being ready for marriage. William was just…William. And she couldn’t really explain it any better than that. She fiddled with her fingers as the elevator finally reacted the lobby and slid through the doors the second they had opened.

Her mind was going in circles.

William.

Niall.

She thought of it this way.

William was like London. A place she was comfortable in, a place she had known like the back of her hand. She felt safe here, she had a life built here and she couldn’t ignore that. She always had something to protect her here and she was never on her own.

Niall was like…like a plane. He was unfamiliar places where she hadn't known where the bad side of town was or when she would come across it. He was the embodiment of risks she regretted never taking, of places she regretted never getting to know.

The truth was, Bryans mother had always tried to swat out the sense of adventure in her because it was too much like her biological father, who - ironically - was a musician (a small one) and travelled nearly all over. He had always brought Bryan home cool things from the places he had went.

So, it wasn’t just that Niall was Niall. He was fresh and new, and reminded her of all the things she could do, but held herself back from doing. And she was twenty one, you know? She was twenty-one and she couldn’t mess about forever, now was the time. It was her time, and she had a right to be selfish with it.

When she saw Williams car parked in the usual spot it was always in, she nearly ran for it - if not with hope of getting him back, then with hope of forgiveness and the ability for both of them to move on.

When he saw her, he took himself from his seat in the car and opened the passenger door, allowing her to slip in with a small ‘thank you’ before he closed it. She dug her finger nails into the palm of her hand, the immense feeling of guilt doing a final tidal wave over her. He had opened the door for her, and she didn’t deserve it. While she appreciated the gesture, she wondered why he just couldn’t yell at her. She had almost thought he didn't really care, however weird that seemed.

“Bryan-”

“William-”

They had said it at the same time, and the two actually shared a small laugh together. It didn’t last long, obviously, but it was nice that the tension had been swept away even if only for a moment.

“You go,” she insisted in a small voice.

William took a deep breath and peered out of his window before turning and looking her in the eye. He was big on eye contact, but she wished he wouldn’t do that right now.

“Okay,” he started, “First, thank you for telling me. I know that probably wasn’t easy for you, Bryan. I know you’re a sensitive person, I know you’ve got a big heart. You’ve never lied to me before. Se-”

Bryan couldn’t help it. She couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth - he had thanked her?

“What?” She said in shock, eyes wide. “What does this even mean, why can’t you just yell at me and tell me you hate me - I- I-I-I…” She couldn’t even construct a sentence, she was that confused. He thanked her. This was not how she had planned for things to go - when her dad cheated on her mum, that was World War III, for god sake.

William furrowed his brows, “Why would I do that? I don’t hate you, Bryan. And yelling gets people absolutely nowhere.”

“But-” She broke eye contact, looking down to her lap.

William ducked his head to get a look at her and paused a moment before asking, “But, what?”

She sighed, “but it’s like you don’t really care.”

It wasn’t the first time he had heard that, if he was honest. But he was just the productive type. He would rather have a conversation and solve everything in ten minutes or less, rather than a heated fight that lasted days. He contributed this to the awful fights his parents used to have (also the reason he made a name for himself and moved out as soon as he could), and he never wanted to be like them. He swore to himself a long time ago that he would never treat or yell at his girlfriend/fiance/wife/any woman the way he had heard his dad do to his mother.

So, it wasn’t that he didn’t care. God, he cared for Bryan more than he cared for a lot of people. He felt like they had been best friends, if nothing else, and he had always heard how great it was to marry your best friend. He loved her.

He shook his head at her, placing his fingers under her chin to get her to look at him.

“Bryan, it’s not that. I just - I just don’t want you to be unhappy. You’ve probably beaten yourself up enough over it, anyways. And I’ve forgiven you.”

“But why? I’m so horrible.”

“You’re not horrible. You made a mistake. I’ve forgiven you because I love you, Bryan. And because I love you, I’ve decided it’s best for you to go your own way. If that’s what you want, of course. I’m ready to move on if you want to stay, but somehow, I don’t think that’s what you need right now.”

So she cried. She cried because she didn’t deserve all this kindness he was giving her. And she certainly didn’t deserve his love, of course not. Especially not that. He could never stand the sight of girls crying, even worse when it was Bryan, so he hugged her. He hugged her and he tried to compose himself while she wasn’t looking. Because, holy hell, was his heart ever hurting.

But if there was one thing he had ever learned from his late grandmother, it was that if things were really meant to be, she would be back. And he could wait, surely.

His grandmother had an epic love story, one that he had recited to him often by his own request. It was the one positive thing he had to hold onto in his house while he watched or heard his mother and father fight. He had always held out hope for a love story of his own, as pathetic as that sounded.

More than that, it was the reason he had hope in anything. If something was meant for him, it would become his. So he kept his patience, and kept his hope.

He also understood that Bryan was only twenty-one and while he had grown up too fast, he didn’t want that for her. And during his sleepless night, he figured thats how she must have felt. And he wasn’t about gain a wife by putting her in a cage, that was never him. He really believed the only option was to let her go.

‘If you love something, set it free’, right?

When Bryan had thoroughly soaked the front of his shirt with all her tears and a runny nose, she pulled herself from his embrace. She looked at him with watery, puffed up eyes and sniffled.

“I don’t even know what to say,” she said, taking a final look into his eyes. He gave her a warm smile, trying to reassure her and maybe trying to cover up the sounds of his heart beginning to chip away. He loved her.

“Don’t worry,” he waved a hand, “I just want you to be happy.” It was true. He loved her.

She shook her head, more at herself, and placed her fingers on the door handle (after taking off her ring and placing it in the palm of his hand), ready to open it.

“Thank you, William,” she whispered, “this is - I…I love you.” And she did, okay? Despite everything, she loved him, and there was no words that could get her gratitude across like those. If she hadn’t loved him romantically anymore, then she loved him like her best friend.

He could only nod, because she hadn’t meant it in the way he would have liked but that was okay. He would deal with it. He loved her.

He watched her get out of the car, but before she would walk too far away, he rolled down the window and wished her luck on the interview.

But then he never started his car - he rested his head on the steering wheel and let out a shaky breath he had been holding in. He swore, if this Niall kid hurt her, he would personally get the next flight to where ever the boy was and actually assault him.

Because he loved her.