A Daydream Away

Jack's POV

I feel like this has been happening a bit too often.

I would get completely hammered, forget when and where I had fallen asleep, and wake up next to Alex. I've gotten used to having the other pressed up against me after my drunken escapades, but we'd typically have clothes on.

It was very obvious, after feeling skin on skin, that he and I were both naked.

Well, after lifting up the sheets, I noticed that we actually were both wearing boxers, but it's still the fact that we were practically nude.

I should have freaked out, due to current events, but something about his arms around me made me feel safe. Most people's thoughts immediately jump to, "Oh, God, did we have sex?" but, instead, I let myself be engulfed by the warmth of his body pressed against my own.

This felt so right.

With what had been happening the past few days, I feel like I should be in denial or something. I mean, having remembered what had occurred in the past gave me some major chills, but my sexuality feels like it's natural. It's kind of like knowing your real hair color will always be that color, and knowing it will always be a part of you. Well, if I'm gay then I'm gay. No point denying it or finding some lame ass reason to deny it. Saying, "I refuse to believe my hair color is black," sounds pretty stupid, doesn't it?

Maybe the fear of rejection will come back to bite me right in the ass. In this day and age, though, the acceptance of homosexuality, and any sexuality at that, has become outrageously positive. The negativity is still showing it's ugly face, but I think we all know it's a work in progress.

Why, though, am I so accepting of it right off the bat? I think it may have something to do with the one sleeping next to me right now.

Naturally, as my thoughts were figuring it out, my phone began to blare from where it lay on my nightstand. Begrudgingly, I grabbed the damned thing and quickly pressed the green button before it bothered the other. All Alex did was grumble and shuffle further into the blanket and into my side, soft snores quietly resuming afterwards.

Chuckling at the boy, I answered with a soft, "Hello?"

"Hey, Sleeping Skunky, you coming in or what? We've got a shitload to cover for the New Year and I need your ass here," an overly annoyed voice said. I immediately recognized it as Matt, who was a manager at the bar and head of event coordinating.

"Shit, man," I responded, slowly moving from underneath the blankets, "It's, like, New Year's Day, go rest or some shit."

"No I will not 'rest or some shit.' You've really got to learn some responsibility," he grumbled, clearly not too pleased with me, "You are the owner of a business, you need to take it more seriously. Waiting so you can sleep off a hangover does not sound professional at all."

"Dude," I whined, "The place is closed today, leave it and we can do it tomorrow."

"All the better to do it now. We won't have any interruptions and will have plenty of time to figure stuff out before we end up crunched on time because you wanted to put it off."

Matt was a very serious, very straightforward guy. If something didn't fit the schedule, he'd let you know, even if you were the owner and could fire his ass. I feel that if I tried firing him, though, he'd somehow fire me in the end and would take over the bar. Matt would probably run the place better, but that was neither here nor there.

"Fine," I gave in, "I'll be there in thirty."

"Good. Oh, and want to let me know why Zack didn't come in last night?" he questioned.

"Uh, it doesn't matter, Rian covered for him," I answered.

"If he had no legit reason, he shouldn't have had an alternate cover." I heard him sigh on the other end. "You've got to stop being so lenient. I'm calling him in so we can talk to him."

"Matt, don't-" Click.

Shit. I may have somewhat figured out my situation with Alex, but Zack is an entirely different story.

I really didn't want to anger Matt anymore, so I got out of the bed, much to my dismay, and began searching for clothes. As I was getting ready, Alex sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and, honestly, looking quite adorable.

"Watcha doin'?" he said through a yawn, sleep lacing his voice.

"Gotta go to the Rock to go over stuff with Matt," I explained as I was putting on my socks.

He made a pained look, and said, "Ooh, have fun with him," before lying back down and wrapping the blankets around him. I guess that's all he needed then.

Quickly throwing on presentable clothing, I rushed my way through the apartment. I decided that, hey, I don't want to piss Matt off and Alex is home, so I quickly left the apartment and left the door unlocked.

The walk, or jog, to work was unpleasant. I am not, in the least, athletic. The only thing I did that would be considered exercise was sex, and I haven't really been "exercising" lately.

As soon as I unlocked and stepped through the backdoor, I was greeted with a furrow-browed Matt, his lip ring glinting sinisterly in the hallway lighting.

"I don't understand how this place is still running," he stated as he turned and walked away. I followed him into my office, even though he was sitting behind my desk. There was no need to tell him to move, because I was honestly afraid to. Instead, I grabbed one of the spare chairs and moved it next to mine.

"Alright," Matt sighed, "Let's get started. So, we've had multiple offers..." And it continued to go on like that for about fifteen minutes. He was just getting in to budgeting and how we were missing a case of beer when Zack stumbled through the doors.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, I-" He began.

"No excuse you give me will fix the fact that you skipped work yesterday," Matt said quietly. "Whether you had someone to cover for you or not, you need a legitimate reason as to why you were not here."

Zack hung his head low, as if to look like a reprimanded puppy. "I understand," he said in a defeated tone.

"Good, you may leave." Matt stated, shooing Zack away. He immediately turned around and left the room. "We are also done here, Jack, we can pick up where we left off tomorrow. I can see you are barely paying attention and I don't want to waste my breath on you."

I just nodded, slipping out of my chair and out of the office.

Just down the hall, Zack was grabbing his jacket to leave. I jogged to catch him before he left, because, honestly, I needed to talk to him. "Hey, Zack, I just wanted to-"

He turned around and held up his hand to stop me. "You aren't the one who needs to apologize. I should have accepted that you had found someone else. I had gotten into this false hope that you would remember one day and we would get back together. It was made obvious that wouldn't happen when Alex came along..."

"What do you mean?" I asked, clearly baffled.

"I've known you long enough to know how you look when you are interested in someone," Zack stated matter-of-factly, "It may not have been obvious to you, but it was definitely obvious to everyone else. He was slowly bringing back the Jack we knew, before shit hit the fan.

"So... you think I had feelings for him..."

"From the first time you met him? Yes," he clarified, leaning his back against the wall, "For the first few days afterwards, you were completely unresponsive, constantly having something on your mind. Connecting the puzzle pieces, it was pretty straight in our face." Zack's face looked pained as he spoke.

"Look," I said, "You don't have to continue telling me this. I get it. And I'm... I'm really sorry. You've gotta remember, though, you're like a brother to me. You'll mean more to me than almost anyone."

"I know," he looked down. "Just... one thing... one thing before it's over officially..." he asked, almost timidly.

"Yeah man, anything. Watcha need?"

"A kiss."

I gave him a soft smile, chuckling a bit before saying, "Okay."

He pushed himself off of the wall, cautiously walking closer to me.

"You sure?" he asked. I knew that if I said no, he would break. And I feel that he needed this, for closure, in a sense.

"Yes," I nodded, and leant forward.

When I pressed my lips to his, I didn't feel the spark I did with Alex, but I did feel nostalgia. Suddenly, I remembered these lips, whether it was quick pecks in the hallway or steamy make out sessions in the back of his car, I remembered them.

He didn't try anything. All it was was soft, yet sorrowful. I knew this was his way of saying goodbye to a love that would never be. I wish I could fix that for him, but he would know the feeling wasn't mutual, and that would hurt him even more. I hope that, in the future, he finds someone worthy of him. Zack is a great guy, and my best friend. The only thing I can do from here is wish him happiness.

Since Matt was done with pestering the both of us, we left right after that. Zack and I chatted about band stuff, because I feel like we've been neglecting that topic for a while, we hugged, and then went our separate ways.

My mind mulled over what Zack had said. Have I really liked him from the beginning?

Before I knew it, Alex's face came to view in my head. I know I see him daily, but now, as I think about it, I started to realize the little things about him. How his hair would always stick upwards when he wore a beanie, how his eyebrows would show more emotion on his face than any other facial feature, how he would do this weird but cute leg thing when he was attempting a bartender trick or when he was really getting into a song he was playing, and more. All the quirks, all the small things about him came forward, little aspects that I had unconsciously stored in the back of my mind. His love for peanut butter, his need to eat dairy despite him being lactose intolerant, and his soft spot for anything covered in fur. I didn't even know I had filed away those things about him, but I did.

He has been the only one I have done that with. With any of my past relationships, which all ended in a month at most, I barely paid attention to whichever girl I was with. In all honesty, they were there for sex and to keep me company. As bad as it sounds, it was what it was. I just didn't feel a connection with anyone, until that little, talented bastard came into my life.

Thinking back, I remember wishing for a little extra excitement in my life. A little change. It's funny how, on that same day, I met Alex.

Maybe Zack was right. Maybe I do like him. More that I realized before. And, from the kiss, I think he may like me, too. I needed to talk to him.

I looked up to see my apartment building straight ahead. Instead of walking the rest of the way, my pace picked up to the point where I was practically sprinting.

"Alex! Alex, I've got something to tell you!" I burst through the door, feeling myself not being able to contain my excitement. I was surprised, though, when I didn't hear a response from him.

"Alex?" I called out again, only to get no response in return.

Maybe he had fallen asleep again? But, that was strange, since he normally stays awake after being woken up. Since I woke him up, he would have lazed in bed until realizing attempting to fall asleep was futile. And it's not like he has a hangover to sleep off.

I quietly made my way into my bedroom, moving cautiously so I didn't wake him up. He's always been a bit of a light sleeper.

Once I pushed the door open, the site of a tied up Alex both completely shocked and mortified me, his eyes full of terror and muffled cries filling the room from behind the scarf in his mouth. I wasn't able to dwell on it for too long, though, because, suddenly, a blinding pain shot through the back of my skull and my vision went black.