Home, Sweet Home

Dan was holding my hand. Just holding it. His hand was warm and it seemed to fit perfectly in mine. I looked up at his face. I’m not sure what he was looking at, but his eyes were transfixed on something in front of us. There was a smile on Dan’s face. He looked so happy it made my heart explode with my own happiness. He looked down at me and was about to say something when this annoying sound cut him off.

“Ugh.” I groaned sitting up in bed. Stupid dreams. There was no need to tease me with things that will never happen.

I got ready for work like normal, managing to remember about the glass door before I ran into it again. Work was boing and really slow the first day. When I got home, the boys were in their rooms and I had laundry to do. Even though Phil said he and Dan would take care of the chores, I felt bad leaving dishes in the sink.

In my room I dug out my barely used suitcase and opened it up on the floor. I was the kind of person to pack for things a week before they happened and this trip was no different. I got Lily on the phone and asked what the weather was supposed to be like. She told me to pack for summer but bring a sweatshirt. You know, Maine weather and all.

The rest of the days counting down to my flight were the same. Go to work, come home, do laundry, pack a little. Then sleep and do it all over again. By the last day I was almost completely packed.

I was to fly out tomorrow morning and I still needed to pack a couple of things Lily had requested. I made a trip to the store and picked up some candy, makeup, and a few other bits of britishness to bring home to her.

After adding my purchases to my case, I was all packed with room to spare for shopping while at home. I had even set out my clothes for the next day and packed my carry on with my laptop, charger and extra phone charger. I packed my camera also, along with a notepad and a few pens. I was hoping to get a couple blog posts drafted while on the plane.

It was around noon when I sat my suitcase by the front door. I went back to my room and grabbed my carry on and my purse. I double checked that my passport and ID were in my wallet, along with money and my ticket. After making sure I had everything, I put my carry on and purse with my suitcase by the door.

I needed a shower badly and I wasn’t going to have time to take one before I left in the morning. I decided now would be a good time. I grabbed my clothes and went and got in the shower. I was almost done when I looked at the wall and saw a spider about the size of a quarter.

Now I’m not normally afraid of spiders. They don’t really bother me when they are in the corner of the room minding their own business, but in the shower that’s a whole other story. The shower is a closed space with tight quarters and you are completely naked and vulnerable. When a spider decides to join you it is just too close for comfort. Plus this one was blocking off my only exit. I let out a blood cuddling scream.

I backed as far away from the spider as I possibly could. I was shaking and the spider was blocking me from reaching for something to kill it. I couldn’t take chance to jump out past it or grab a bottle to squish it. I just cowered in the corner as far from it as I could get. Just then the bathroom door burst open. It was Dan.

“Oh god,” said Dan covering his eyes. “You’re naked…I heard a scream. I’ll go get Phil.” said Dan awkwardly turning around. Then Phil burst thought the door. He covered his eyes when he saw me too.

“What’s going on?” Phil asked.

“There’s a spider. Kill it. Kill it.” I said hysterically attempting to cover myself. I felt the tears rolling down my face.

“But you’re naked…” said Phil.

“I don’t care just KILL IT!” I yelled.

Dan booked it out of the bathroom as soon as Phil moved out of the way. Phil dropped his hand but made a visible effort not to look at me. Phil made his way over to the shower, opened the door and killed the spider. Once it was dead he turned and walked very quickly out the door without saying a word shutting the door behind him.

I slowly sank down and sat on the floor of the shower. Both of my roommates just saw me naked. Dan saw me naked. The guy I have an undeniable crush on, just saw me naked. When the realization of this hit me, I felt sudden embarrassment.

“Kill me now.” I said aloud to myself.

How was I ever going to show my face to them again?

I sat on the floor of the shower until the water ran cold forcing me to get out and get dressed. I was dreading having to leave the bathroom but at the same time my stomach was eating itself in hunger. I knew I was going to have to face Dan and Phil sooner or later. I was just hoping it would be later.

I opened the bathroom door and quietly started to walk up the stairs. Was I really that hungry? Did I really need to go get food? Just as I thought that my stomach growled quite ferociously. Damn it. I snuck my way toward the kitchen. Both of the guys were in the lounge, looking at the TV. I darted into the kitchen.

I opened up the fridge trying to be quiet but I forgot about the talking pig thing. I literally wanted to face palm myself. It wasn’t long before Phil walked in. Well this was a little awkward. I grabbed some blueberries and closed the fridge.

“I uh, didn’t know you were afraid of spiders.” said Phil.

I could tell he was only holding back his laugh because of the pure awkwardness of the situation. My face turned red at the mention of it.

“Only in the shower.” I mumbled but Phil still heard me.

“I didn’t see anything. I promise.” said Phil.

I could feel my face grow even hotter. I probably looked like a tomato.

“Phil…You saw enough.” I said then switched to a whisper.

“What really makes this situation worse is that Dan came in. Dan saw me naked.”

Just saying it made me sick to my stomach in embarrassment.

“Well at least you look good naked.” said Phil very awkwardly then face palmed.

My mouth dropped open in disbelief.

“Kill me.” I said opening the fridge and sticking my head in and then closing and opening the fridge repeatedly. Every time it opened the pig would talk. I heard Dan’s obnoxious laugh from the lounge. Oh God, kill me, kill me, kill me, ugh.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I, sorry.” said Phil going across into the lounge.

“Dan, not a word.” I heard Phil say in the other room.

I removed my head and closed the fridge for a final time.

Okay, deep breaths, I thought to myself leaning over the sink in case of any projectile vomiting that could still possibly occur. You knew it was only a matter of time before one of them saw you naked. You just weren’t expecting it to be both of them and so soon. Plus they both covered their eyes when they found out you were naked so it could have been worse. Plus Phil killed the spider so that’s an upside to this situation.

After calming myself down enough so I didn’t think I was going to hydro pump, I decided to just get it over with and join the boys in the lounge. I grabbed my blueberries and walked across the hall. Once in the lounge, I sat between Dan and Phil on the couch in awkward silence until it was broken by Dan.

“So Phil, are you sure you don’t like Sam? I mean if you think she looks good naked.” said Dan with a smirk.

Phil looked almost mad enough to swear, almost. I punched Dan’s leg, maybe a little harder that I intended to.

“Owww…” said Dan rubbing the spot I had hit.

This plunged us into another awkward silence. We sat like this for three minutes. Yes, I counted… I needed to break this silence.

“Well at least you know I’m not a crossdresser now.” I literally wanted to facepalm myself.

Dan and Phil looked at each other and then back at me before the three of us all busted out in laughter.

The laughter broke the awkward tension in the room and we were able to just relax. It felt so good to relax after my terribly crazy week of being constantly busy. All week I missed the guys and I hadn’t even left for America yet.

I sat with the guys for about a half hour when I noticed what time it was. I still had a couple of things to do before going to bed. I didn’t know if I would get the chance to see the guys again before I left so now was my only chance for a goodbye. I stood from the couch.

“So I’m headed up to my room. I just wanted to say goodbye to you guys while I still had the chance.” I said looking between the guys.

“What day are you coming back?” Dan asked. I hadn’t told them yet but I only got a one way ticket.

“Um I don’t know. A week from now, maybe two. I got a one way so that I could come back whenever I wanted to. I just have to book it.” I said.

“So you don’t have a flight home booked?” asked Phil.

I just shook my head.

“So you’re just going to show up?” Dan questioned.

“No I’ll call you guys before I book the flight. My brother’s girlfriend broke up with him the day before he planned to propose to her. I don’t know how long it’ll take for me to help my friend Lily take care of him. Apparently Lily is still doing his laundry. Plus I need time with Lily. You don’t know what it’s like to live in a house full of testosterone and boy things. That and I don’t have to worry about Lily seeing me naked, it’s nothing she hasn’t already seen.” I added with a smirk.

“I’m gonna miss you. I kind of already do. It’s like I haven’t really seen you since before we left for Vidcon.” said Phil standing and pulling me into a hug.

“I know. I feel the exact same. I’m going to miss you guys so much.” I said hugging him back tightly.

Phil let me go and sat back on the sofa. Dan just smiled and waved at me. I was disappointed that I did get a hug but I just smiled and waved back. With that I just left the room.

Once up in my room, I grabbed my phone and called Lily. It rang twice before she picked up.

“Okay I’m all packed and ready. Go through the check list one more time with me so I didn’t forget anything.” I said before she could even get out a hello.

“Okay… underwear?” she asked.

“Check.” I replied.

“Shorts?” she asked again.

“Check.” I said. Our conversation went like this until we had run through our entire checklist.

“Okay so what are you wearing so that I know what to look for?” Lily asked once we were thought with the check list.

“Um I was thinking black leggings and a white tank top and my all black converse. I’ll have my leather jacket also. You remember what that looks like right?” I said telling her what I had planned on.

“Of course I remember the jacket. You’ll be lucky if I don’t steal it while you’re here.” She said with a laugh.

“Maybe I won’t bring it then.” I said sarcastically causing Lily to laugh even more.

“No, you go everywhere with that thing. I’ll never be able to pry it from you long enough to steal it.”

I chatted with Lily a little bit more and we planned out where we were meeting and what time. My flight left at 6 am so I had to be at the airport by 4:30 so I could check in and go through security and all that bull. It was a ten hour flight so I would be landing in the US at 4 pm UK time and 11 am US. Guess who is gonna nap on the plane. This girl.

I was going to be meeting Lily at the nearest Starbucks. If I didn’t sleep on the plane I was
going to need to be highly caffeinated. Don’t get me wrong, I love my best friend, but Lily and I don’t get along very well if I’m sleep deprived AND under caffeinated.

The only thing I hadn’t packed away yet was my phone and headphones. I got up off the floor and plugged my phone in leaving it by my bed. I opened up my Spotify app and connected my headphones. Once back in my previous position of laying on my back on my floor, I put on my headphones on and started my Radiohead playlist.

Dan had showed me them and I promised that I would give them a listen. Dan and I had a lot of similar musical interests. We liked the same bands. He even attempted to teach me what he knew on the piano. I never told him that I could actually play, it was more fun having him teach me. Maybe I’ll tell him one day.

As if thinking about him had summoned him, Dan peaked his head in my door. I paused the song and pulled my headphones off.

“I thought you had things to do before you left. Is one of them really sleeping on the floor?” Dan asked with a smirk, sitting down next to me.

“No. I just got off the phone with Lily. We were just planning everything for tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to a ten hour flight.” I said looking up at Dan.

“So what are you doing now?” Dan asked.

I had a feeling that he wanted to ask me something, but I had no clue what it would be.

“Just relaxing before I go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be crazy, but I’m excited.” I said.

“Do you mind if I hang out with you, like old times?” Dan asked.

“By old times do you mean listening to music together and falling asleep on the floor then waking up with a terrible back kink and hating ourselves for the rest of the day?” I asked remembering all if the times we had done that. Believe me, there have been many.

“Well yeah. Only we could just hang out on the bed. It’ll be more comfortable for you and there really isn’t enough room for both of us on the floor anymore.” said Dan referring to my monstrous bed that took up most of the room.

When I said my rug just fit in the empty space, I wasn’t kidding.

I thought about it for a minute. This was the last chance I would get to see Dan for a week or two. Did I really want to pass it up? It would be like old times. I realized I would give anything to be like that with Dan again.

“Sounds good to me.” I said without giving myself time to think myself out of it. Dan helped me stand and we made our way to my bed. He grabbed my extra pair of headphones and connected them to my phone.

We both laid comfortably on the bed. Dan wasn’t hanging off the bed and I wasn’t pressed up against the wall. The only parts of us that were touching were our elbows.

Dan pushed play and I could feel myself getting lost to the music. It was like having Dan here made the music sound better and the tension in my shoulder disappear quicker. Not once did I think about Dan in any other way than him being my best friend. In this moment it was like he was just Dan and I was just Sam again. It truly did feel like old times.