Home, Sweet Home

I woke up to being too hot but I was too tired to move. It took me a moment to remember that Dan and I had hung out last night. That’s when I realized I was so hot because Dan had his arms wrapped around me. There were instant butterflies. Well I guess the moment of just friends is gone now.

I didn’t dare to move because I was afraid I would wake Dan.

I looked up at the window to see if I could figure out what time it was by the color of the sky and of course I couldn’t. I figured I had woken up just before my alarm. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Dan’s arms and attempting to ignore how hot I was.

Just as I was about to fall back asleep, Dan started to move. He squeezed me tighter and then rolled on to his stomach with one arm still on top of me. Now I really couldn’t move.

I was going to have to wake him up. I really didn’t want to. I reached the hand that wasn’t trapped under Dan and rubbed his shoulder.

“Dan… Dan wake up.” He moaned and moved back into the position he was in before. I didn’t know if I preferred this or would rather he not be touching me at all. I didn’t want him to stop hugging me but when it did come time for me to get up I wouldn’t be able to move.

“Dan, please wake up.” I said rubbing his forearm that was laying on my chest.

“Dan.” I said a little louder. His breathing changed telling me he was waking up.

“Hey.” said Dan quietly.

“Hey, you’re kind of squishing me.” I said with a slight smile.

“Yeah well I’m comfy and I don’t wanna move, so deal with it.” said Dan tightening his arms and loosening them again.

His words were muffled by the pillow and his voice was thick with sleep.

“So what are you going to do when I have to get up?” I asked.

“You’re not leaving. I’m comfy and you can’t leave.” Dan mumbled. I could tell he was falling back to sleep.

“Dan you can’t keep me here.” I said with a laugh.

“Watch me.” said Dan tightening his arms around me.

I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. Before I could start to struggle my phone started to go off.

“Dan, you really do have to let go of me.” I said with a sad smile.

“Damn it.” said Dan letting me go and turning off my alarm for me.

“Well I guess I have to get up.” I said escaping from Dan’s arms.

I walked to the other side of the room. Dan covered his face with his arm when I turned on the
light.

“Sorry, but I gotta see.” I said.

I felt bad for blinding him but I really did need to see.

I started to get changed out of my shorts and t-shirt and into my leggings and tank top.

“What are you doing?” Dan asked sitting up on the bed.

“Getting dressed.” I replied.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have left.”

“It’s not like it really matters. You’ve already seen me naked.” I said shrugging my shoulders. “Plus it’s not like you haven’t seen me in bra and underwear before.”

“A bikini isn’t quite the same thing but you have a point.” said Dan laying back down.

When I was finished getting dressed I called for an Uber to take me to the airport. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for a message saying it was here.

“Are you excited to see your family and Lily?” Dan asked bumping his hand against my arm.

“Yeah, but I’m going to miss you and Phil.” I said nudging his arm with my elbow.

“We’ll Skype or something. We’ll have more time to do that than we did when Phil and I went to Vidcon.” said Dan.

“Yeah but I have lots of plans with Lily and my brother. My parents don’t even know I’ll be coming home yet so I’ll probably end up having plans with them too, but we’ll figure something out.” I said just as my phone vibrated telling me the Uber was here.

“I’ll see you soon.” I said leaning over to give Dan a hug. “You can stay here and sleep if you want.”

“Nah, I’ll walk you to the door.” said Dan getting off the bed.

I grabbed my phone and headphones and went down stairs with Dan.

Once at the door I put on my jacket. Before I grabbed my bags, Dan pulled me into another hug.

“Text me when you arrive at the airport, when you board, and call me when you land.” said Dan while hugging me.

“Dan, you’re acting like I’m never coming back. Two weeks tops.” I said reassuringly.

“Two weeks.” Dan repeated letting me go.

I put my carry on over my shoulder and grabbed my bag. Dan opened the door for me.

“Two weeks.” I said before going out the door and down the first flight of stairs. Just before I
turned to go down the next flight, I looked back at Dan. He was still standing in the door. I turned and walked the rest of the way out to the Uber.

“London Heathrow?” asked the driver.

I nodded. He grabbed my suitcase and put it in the trunk of the car and opened the door for me.

Once the door was closed, I looked up at the flat I had just left. I felt like I was leaving them behind. I wanted to take them with me, but Lily probably wouldn’t appreciate having three people stay with her in her tiny apartment.

I kept my eyes on the flat until the driver turned the corner and the flat was no longer in view. Instead of being sad at leaving my friends, I thought about all the fun I was going to have with Lily and my brother.

Lily and I had planned a beach day and a shopping day. I was probably going to have a diner with my parents and Ian. My brother and I had planned to go to the movies and out for ice cream like we used to before I moved to London.

My excitement wiped away my sadness of leaving. London really did feel like home more that Home did. If only Lily would just move to London. I was so stuck in my head that I didn’t realize we had arrived at the airport until the driver said something.

I got my things and paid the driver. Just as I made it under the cover of the building, it started to down pour. The forecast did call for rain, but it said it wouldn’t be bad enough to delay flights.

I went through security and did all of those other things that I needed to do and then went and found a place to sit. Once I was sitting I remembered that Dan wanted me to tell him when I got here. I figured he would still be sleeping but I got a reply almost instantly.

Okay let me know when you’re boarding.

I typed back a quick okay. I almost added an “I love you” but caught myself before I did. That would have been embarrassing.

I thought back to this morning. Dan and I have had many “hang out all night and fall asleep next to each other” but he’s never really cuddled with me like that. Granted most of the time we are sleeping on the floor. I attributed his actions to the fact that we weren’t on the floor this time.

I thought back the one time he did kind of cuddle me.

It was a few months before I moved in and Dan was particularly stressed about one of his many secret projects.

“I know the perfect thing that will get your mind off of all the things you’re trying to do at once.” I said to Dan who was sitting at my table nursing a cup of coffee.

“I don’t need to get my mind off them, I need to work on them. That’s my problem.” He said giving me a look like work was the last thing he wanted to do.

“You may come across an idea faster when you’re not trying to come up with an idea.” I replied.

Dan just gave me a “yeah right” look.

“Come on.” I said grabbing Dan by the hand and dragging him into the living room.

Once he was sitting on the floor, I handed him a pair of headphones. He knew what I was going to do and thankfully he didn’t stop me. I turned off the lights and turned on Spotify on my phone.

We both laid on the floor, in that dark, with headphones on, listening to very loud music. Eventually we both ended up falling asleep.

The next morning I woke up to a kink in my back and an exploding bladder but I tried to ignore the pain and go back to sleep. Until I realized I was using Dan’s arm as a pillow.

I opened my eyes to check and see if Dan was still asleep. Thankfully he still had his eyes closed and his breathing was slow.

I got up and went to the bathroom before Dan could wake up and see me using him as a pillow. I didn’t want to creep him out or anything.

I went and made coffee and then woke Dan up. He didn’t mention anything about it so I figured I was safe.

Last night was different. It was a nice change from the normal with him. It felt like before I developed my crush on Dan and before his channel blew up. The only difference was that I fell asleep almost instantly, but I was tired.

Yesterday really was my only day to relax and I still didn’t even do that. I packed and got attacked by a spider and my roommates saw me naked. Okay maybe I don’t want to think about all of yesterday.

The longer I sat there the farther and farther back I started to think about. Suddenly I was thinking about the first day that Dan and I met. I suddenly snapped out of my day dreams by my stomach growling. I need food. I looked around and found a Starbucks. Coffee is just what I needed.

I got my Starbucks and made my way to where my flight would be boarding. Sitting on the floor I dug into my sandwich. It wasn’t my favorite but I was so hungry I just didn’t care. It took only a few minutes to scarf it down.

I sat nursing my coffee when I heard my flight was boarding. I stood grabbing my bag and made my way over to the boarding area. When I was waiting in line I saw a girl with a Dan and Phil shirt on. It made me smile to think about them, not that I ever really stop.

It didn’t take too long to board and it turned out the girl with the Dan and Phil shirt was seated next to me. I remembered that I needed to send a quick text to Dan to let him know I was boarding. Just after I sent the text, my phone started to vibrate in my hand signaling that I had a call.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hey.” It was Dan.

“Why are you calling me, you’re supposed to be asleep.” I said into the phone.

“I can’t sleep. You woke me up and now I can’t go back to sleep. You go to sleep. You obviously need it.” said Dan through the phone.

“We haven’t even taken off yet and why do you think I need sleep?” I said.

“Because of the text you just sent.” He said.

I was getting slightly annoyed.

“All I said was that I was boarding.” I replied.

“Check you messages.” said Dan with what sounded to be a smirk in his smile.

I pulled my phone away from my face and opened up the messages. I went to the one I sent Dan and… Oh no! “Hey just boarding the plane now. Love you.” I felt like I was going to vomit.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed quietly but Dan still heard it and I could hear him laughing on the other end of the phone.

“Go to sleep.”

“I can’t, plus Phil is awake now too.” He said even through his laughter he sounded sleepy.

“Well tell him to go back to sleep too then.” I said.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the girl looking at me.

“We have merch stuff to work on.” said Dan.

“Go to sleep, you can work on that later, like nine am.” I said.

“Nope can’t- PHIL WHY ARE YOU EATING MY CEREAL!” Dan yelled so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear and I could still hear it.

Shit.

“I have to go. Bye.” I said.

Just before I hung up I heard Dan say have a safe flight. I didn’t hear anymore because that was when the call disconnected.

I looked over and the girl next to me was openly staring at me.

“Hi.” I said to her.

“Hi.” she said back to me slowly.

“I see you like Dan and Phil… me too.” I said pointing out her shirt. She just looked at me wide eyed.

“So… what’s your favorite video?” the silence from her was starting to be awkward.

“What not to do in a public bathroom.” She said quietly.

“Ahh that one.” I said with a nod. She knew. She knew I was the roommate. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“Do you need to pee?” She asked.

I closed my eyes. Okay fuck it, she already knew.

“It’s not I need to pee, it was I want to pee.” I said with a smirk. She burst out laughing.

“I thought you sounded familiar.” said the girl when her laughter had subsided.

“Yeah, maybe I should just stay away from anyone wearing Dan and Phil merch. You know you can’t tell anyone right? Not even your best friend or you dog, if you have either.” I said.

“I totally promise but can I get a selfie with you. I won’t post it unless you tell me its okay… or if you’re ever in videos.” She said.

I asked for her usernames and stuff and she gave them to me. I would be checking just in case.

“What makes you think I’ll be in more videos?” I asked.

“Oh just something Dan said in his last live show. Something about ideas for if you were ever to be in a video.” She told me. I was going to have to talk to Dan about that one, but it would have to wait for until I landed.

I took a selfie with her and then we had to turn our phones off. For the first couple of hours I talked to her a bit. I found out that her name is Violet and she was visiting her older brother who went to uni. She was from Maine just like I was and she was going to be a junior in high school this upcoming year.

She and I really hit it off. She told me about how she started a YouTube channel because of Dan. Thank god the plane had Wi-Fi so that she could show me some of her videos. They were a lot like my blogs. Makeup and clothes and other random videos. I subscribed to her. I also followed her on Twitter and Instagram. She in turn followed me back.

I even told her about my blog. She seemed really interested. She asked me what it was called and when she thought I wasn’t looking, she looked it up. I’m pretty sure she subscribed to it. I managed to draft a post before Violet asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with her.

Not long into the movie she and I were watching, I started getting really tired. I told her to finish the movie by herself because hopefully I would sleep the rest of the flight. I slowly drifted off to sleep. The last thing I saw before I went to sleep, was the mini Dan on Violet’s shirt.