Home, Sweet Home

I messed around on the piano for a little while longer until I heard a car pull into the driveway. I watched from the window above the couch as he grabbed his brief case and walked toward the door. Before he could open it, I grabbed the handle and opened it for him. He froze in the doorway.

“Hi Daddy.” I said.

He looked at me for a second and then engulfed me in a hug. He smelled like aftershave and the hospital. I realized just then how much I truly missed him.

“I’m so happy to see you Sam.” He said in my ear then pulled away. “You’re not wearing black.”

Of course that would be one of the first things my father would say to me.

My mom never really liked my monochromatic wardrobe, but my father found it quirky. He loved that I embraced my individuality and didn’t conform to my mother’s idea of a perfect daughter. While he was disappointed that I dropped out of college, he understood my reasoning for it. While my mother on the other hand thought I was throwing away my future.

“I let Lily dress me.” I explained.

“Ah yes that would explain the blue.”

My father knew Lily almost as well as he knew me. She always wore a lot of blues and purples in order to play up her eye color. She wore purple when she wanted them to look more blue, and blue when she wanted them to look purple. Let’s just say she owns almost as much blue as I do black.

“How was work?” I asked moving out of the doorway so that he could come in.

“Good, not much action today. The emergency room was quiet so I didn’t do much except for sit around and do a surgery.”

I loved how my dad talked about doing a surgery like it was paperwork.

“Your mother didn’t tell me you were coming into town. When did you arrive?” he asked looking slightly confused.

“I didn’t tell mom. Lily and I planned it and Ian helped but we made him promise not to tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise. Mom found out yesterday, when I got here, and I begged her to not tell you until tonight. We’re staying for dinner.” I explained.

“We meaning who?” he asked.

“Ian is out back, something about a lawn mower and mom invited Lily to come as well.” I told him.

“Where are you staying?” he asked taking off his jacket and putting his briefcase by the door.

“With Lily.”

“I wish you had told me you were coming. I would have gotten a day off. I don’t have any.” He looked saddened by that.

“I’ll tell you next time. I think I might be coming around Christmas or Thanksgiving depending on if I can afford it.” I told him.

It also depended on how well my mother and I got along for the next two weeks.

This ended our conversation and he went up to his study which used to be Ian’s room before he moved out. I wandered back in to the living room and messed around with the piano for a bit longer.

I got out some sheet music and started to play what was written. It took me a few minutes to figure it out because I was rusty at reading sheet music but I soon got the hang of it.

Before long my mom poked her head in and told us dinner was almost ready. Lily and I stood and went into the dining room.

Drinks hadn’t been put out yet and neither had the food so we went to the kitchen to help. We brought out the silverware and dishes to set the table and poured everyone drinks. Then we started bringing the food to the table.

When we were done, Lily and I sat next to each other with our backs to the window that gave you a view or the front yard. Soon Ian and my dad joined us. Ian sat across from me and my Dad sat to my right. I made sure to sit on Lily’s right because of her left-handedness. My brother and both of my parents were also left handed. I was the right handed black sheep of the family.

Diner went well. My parents asked me what I was doing for work and I told them that I was still working at the coffee shop but my hours were still all over the place. I also told them I was thinking about getting a second job but I was unsure about it because I didn’t like to use the underground.

My parents were well aware of my hatred of the London underground. More ammunition for my mother’s argument for me to move home and go to college.

We chatted about what Ian was doing he had recently graduated from college with a masters in engineering and he was looking into a few jobs. Alexa was not mentioned by anyone at the table. I knew eventually I would have to have the conversation about it all with him soon but now wasn’t the time.

“So how are your friends in London? Phil and Dan, right?” My dad asked.

Lily and I exchanged a quick glance.

“Um they’re good.” I said.

“And I forget, what did you say they did for work again?”

Lily and I exchanged another look.

“Um, I didn’t.” I said, pleading for help from Ian from across the table.

My Dad didn’t know what Dan and Phil did because I didn’t know how he would react when I told them they were YouTubers. Mom only knew because she weaseled it out of me and she is a very good snoop.

She had a way about finding things out that you didn’t want her to. Like about my blog.

“Well what do they do? They must do something to make a living.” My dad said.

The whole table was quiet for a moment. Ian and Lily exchange a look and the looked at me. All four sets of eyes were on me. I felt a sudden pressure to say something. That is what they were waiting for.

“Well they um,” I couldn’t find the wording I wanted to use so I decided to just kind of spit it out.

“They make YouTube videos.” I said holding my breath.

“They make actual money off of that?” My dad asked.

He didn’t look confused like my mother had. Just curious.

“Yeah. They have almost nine eight million subscribers between the two of them and three channels. Dan and Phil each have their own channel and then they have a gaming channel together. They also have a shop where they sell merchandise to the subscriber if they want and in October, they released a book and went on a world tour. Every year they take two trips to the US for conventions. One in Florida, and the other in California. The one in California just happened two weeks ago.” I explained.

“So they have basically made their own business by making these videos and building a fan base?” my Dad asked.

“Yeah it’s actually kind of cool if you think about it. But at the same time it is hard being friends with them. They get recognized a lot while out and about in London. Like I said before they have almost nine million subscribers between them, while most of the subscriber are subbed to both of them, it’s hard to tell exactly just how many they really have combined. If I’m with them when they get recognized, they always get asked who I am.” I said.

“And that’s a bad thing?” My dad asked.

“It could be. Most of their viewers don’t know I exist. I don’t really want to be in any videos,” Lily snickered at this so I kicked her under the table. “Therefore when I’m seen with them by a viewer, they have no clue who I am.”

“Why don’t you just explain it to them?” My mother chimed in.

“We don’t do that because most of them will think I’m in a relationship with one of the guys. That is exactly what we don’t want. They have a lot of viewers and all it takes is one person to get onto some social media site and post a picture of me with the guys and the whole Phandom will know about me. I don’t want to be in the spot light. That’s Dan and Phil’s thing. I could also possibly get hate from fangirls if they think I’m in a relationship with one of the guys. A lot of their fans seem to think that Dan and Phil are a couple.” This time it was Ian’s turn to snicker.

“Their ship name is Phan with a “ph”. I can just see the amount of hate comments on social media I would get if the Phandom thought I broke up “Phan”. They want to save me from that. Also I don’t want to possibly start to get recognized on my own. That would be really weird.”

When I was done speaking, the whole room fell quiet. There wasn’t even the sound of silverware on plate. The silence was growing more and more awkward as it went on. I made eye contact with Lily and I could tell she felt the awkwardness in the air as well. Just when I was wondering how we were ever going to break form this silence I heard my phone go off in the other room.

“May I be excused?” I said and left without receiving an answer. Once in the living room I found my phone and answered it.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hey Sam, is this a bad time? I know it’s late but I wanted to talk to you about something.” It was Zoe.

“You literally couldn’t have called at a better time. I’m home for a couple of weeks and the whole table just fell into an awkward silence.” I said.

“Oh you’re gone?” Zoe said sounding bummed.

“Yeah it was a last minute thing.” I said.

“Dammit. I wanted to know what you wanted to do for your birthday. It’s the eighteenth of this month right?” she asked.

“Yeah, sorry. We can have a little get together when I get back. Pizza and board games. Sound good?”

“Yeah sounds good. Call me when you get back.”

“Okay.” I replied.

We said our goodbyes and then ended the call. I didn’t want to reenter the dining room but I knew I would have to sooner or later. I took a deep breath and made my way back to the dining room.

“Sorry about that. That was my friend Zoe. She wanted to plan something for my birthday but I told her I wouldn’t be there for it.” I said to the quiet room.

“Oh you’re staying that long?” my mom asked referring to the last time I came to visit for a week and then cut it three days short because of the argument.

I ignored the double meaning of the question.

“Yeah I actually only have a one way ticket. I figured after two weeks I’d go home but I didn’t want to book it just in case I decided to stay longer.” I told her not mentioning that I also did it in case I wanted to leave sooner.

I didn’t want to give my family hope that I would be staying for good, but no matter how I explained it, my mother would twist my words somehow.

“I promised Dan I’d stay for a max of two weeks.”

Ian shot me a look across the table so I figured I should explain the meaning behind that.

“Two weeks ago, Dan and Phil went to California for a week. The week after that, I was working every day except for the day before I left so that I could pack. Now I’m going to be gone for two weeks. The guys and I haven’t really gotten the chance to hang out in almost a month. If I were to stay any longer Dan would probably call me on a daily basis to bug me about when I’m coming back. That sounded less weird in my head.”

“I know that when I don’t get to see you for a long time I tend to text and call you a lot, so that would make sense.” Lily added totally saving my butt.

The rest of dinner went smoothly. My parents moved on to interrogating Lily about her job and how school was going. She didn’t really say where she worked but when my parents asked about how her job was, Ian got a smirk on his face like he knew something I didn’t.

After we ate, Lily and I attempted to help my mom clean up, but she told us she didn’t want us to get our dresses dirty and just to not worry about it. Lily, Ian, and I left soon after.

“Well that was quite eventful. I’m glad I’m the good child.” said Ian getting in his car.

I stuck my tongue out at him.

Lily and I had a quiet car ride back to her apartment. When we got back I was quick to change out of the dress and into a pair of black leggings and a tank top. I felt so much more comfortable in black than I did in any other color. Lily told me to keep the dress because it looked better on me but I don’t think I would ever wear it again.

That night, Lily convinced me to watch all of the Twilight movies with her. Half way through the third one she was out like a light. I did not feel bad that I didn’t have to watch the last two.

With her falling asleep on the couch so much, it made me wonder how often she actually slept in the bed. I didn’t want to wake her, so I just went to bed on my own once again.

I laid awake and thought about my dad’s reaction to Dan and Phil’s job. I thought for sure he wouldn’t really understand it but he seemed more curious than anything. My dad had always been the open minded one out of my parents. I think I got that from him.

Once again I end up thinking about Dan before bed. I was supposed to be getting over this stupid crush and all I’ve done so far is make it worse with my constant thinking about Dan. If I ever want to get over him, I really needed to stop that.