I Get so Weak

I walk up the stairs to my school, watching as kids pass me by, not a single wave from all of them. I have been to school with them since grade 2, and yet, in grade 12 they still act like I don't exist. By now I have learnt to ignore that tiny little fact, but today it bothers me more than ever.
This is the first day of my final year in Belleville High School.
A gust of wind leaves its final chill on my back as I enter the door of the school I have been trapped in for the past two school years, and I can't help but internally scream. This is where I am going to be trapped until early June. This is the place I am going to have to wake up at a ungodly hour, and this is the place I will want to kill myself in two weeks. This is the place where I will be shoved against lockers, disregarded by principals and bitchy teachers, and this is the place where I will slowly fall back into my depression. And last but not least, this is the place where I will be forced into small quarters with Frank Iero.
He, I have to tell you, has to be the most annoying, most aggravating human being out there. And no, he isn't a jock, and no he isn't super smart. He is actually an outcast, just like me. So why hate him?
Because he stole the only people I was friends with. He stole Bob and Ray from me. I used to be the leader of our group, the fun one, the one they wanted to hang out with them. But no, as soon as Frank came around, they started to gravitate from me, and more onto him. I haven't spoken to any of them since late grade ten. Since then I have spent my days in school alone. Awkward forced lab pairings and all.
I sigh and slump my way to the main gym to get my ID and timetable done. They stuff me into a class for Biology, History, Math, Home Ec and Physical Education. And next semester is to be determined.
I climb the stairs ever so slowly to the third floor. I find my class and slump into a seat at the very back of the lab, hoping to God that whoever is forced to sit beside me is a normal girl, whom won't talk to me. The teacher, Mr.Miles, immediately tells me that as soon as the other students show up, I will be asked to move.
"Why? Aren't we in High School? Ya know, the lovely part where we can sit wherever we please?" I ask astonished, praying to God that he will let me stay right where I am.
"Because..."
"Gerard Way. My name is Gerard." I spit out.
"Because Gerard, the Board of Education is trying this new way of learning with other students. They believe that if we stick you in every class with the same kids, and have the same seating plan and same partners throughout a term, that you will eventually learn better. I don't know if I can differ from that, so I won't. Welcome to your last year Gerard." There was a bit of bitterness laying underneath the fake smile he gave me, and I internally scream again. Do not let this bother you Gerard. This will be ok. You'll be paired with some air head girl, you'll carry the weight as usual, and you will be fine. It is only a term. Everyone starts milling in, foolishly sitting beside their friends. I stand at the back, having already been given the heads up.
The absolutely obnoxious bell rings out in the halls, and seeps into the room. Mr.Miles, our bio teacher stands up and claps his hands once. He gathers the attention of the class, and drops the bomb of bad news.
"This will be your homeroom. If you can all pull out a piece of paper, this is a very important piece of info, so you will want to write it down. The school board has decided that this year there will be the same kids in your classes. So say hello to your fellow classmates for the rest of the term, and if it goes well, the rest of the semester. They think this will be easier for us teachers, and that it will be a better way to learn for you guys. And here is the kicker, all classes have pairs of desks. And for each pair of desks, there will be a pair of students. Randomly selected. And the person you are paired with will be the person you work on projects and labs with. Again, this applies to every class. So! Emily and Jaycee, you will be up front here at these two desks."
He goes on and on, pairing people who are either happy or absolutely pissed. And then comes my name. He has trouble reading my partners name, and then I hear it. Frank fucking Iero.
"You two will be in the back. Looks like you got your way Gerard, in a way. How fortunate!"
"No! No, no I will not sit with him. Absolutely not. Nope." I blurt out, drawing all 34 pairs of eyes towards me. I feel my heart beating a thousand times a second, and I feel my vision go funny. No way. The teacher laughs and shakes his head,
"Oh yes you will. Now take a seat." I turn around and just sit down in the back, watching as Frank... who looks ten times older this year, make his way to the seat beside me.
"Hey Gerard." He slams his books onto the desk, and smiles at me.
He acts as if he hasn't got a clue.
"Bob and Ray are in our permanent class too...They told me to ask you if you wanted to hang out today, just before we got paired.Just before you tried to refuse to sit beside me."He laughs nervously. What? I laugh a little too evilly, and shake my head.
"I won't be taking that offer."
"Why?" Does he not remember me? The teacher starts going over what we are going to learn this term, and around when we should expect testing.
'You stole them, remember? So yeah, stop talking to me. Unless we have a project don't fucking talk to me." He gasps a little bit, again, seeming like he has no clue.
"... But we are partners."
I just ignore him, trying to prove my point that I wish to not speak to him. He can take a long walk off a short pier for all I care. He is annoying and forced me into being alone. And that is that. He deserves it.
The class goes on, and Frank seems to get the point. And then the teacher slams us with a project to do at home. A get to know my students kind of deal. We could do it on our own... I am sure of that.
"So since we are doing a project, we have to work together. Right?" A student asks the teacher, and he crushes my dreams with a confirmation.
"So whos house? Mine or yours?" I turn to Frank as the bell rings.
"Mine. My parents are out of town tonight and I have to stay at home." I nod and gather my books and stuff them into my backpack.
"I'll be there around five." He nods and grabs his books nervously, and I can't help but note his jawline. It is rather nice.
"O-ok."
I roll my eyes and storm out of the room and to History. Again, the same thing. Another "Get to Know Us".
And it occurs over and over again until it comes to Phys. Ed.
*****