Hungry for Flesh

When the apocalypse comes, Gabe is the first to die.

Later, Kellin tells his boyfriend, Vic, about how he and a few of their friends used to debate about what would happen if the zombie apocalypse ever happened. They joked that Jack would be drunk and passed out in a closet, Justin would be the handyman sure to survive, Gabe would die first, and Kellin would die second. So far, Jack is not drunk (surprisingly), and Kellin isn’t dead. However, the group has been mostly relying on Justin, along with their newer friend, Nick, just as they predicted, and on top of all that, well, Gabe is dead. Specifically, he’s dead from the bullet from Jaime’s gun—they’d all agreed beforehand that if any of them got bitten, someone else from the group would kill them so that they couldn’t turn into a monster.

Vic responds to Kellin’s little story by saying that he’s talked about it with his friends, too—hasn’t every friend group debated about this at some point?—and now Kellin is looking back on all the ridiculous plans they made for an event that they never expected would happen. Back then, they laughed. But now it’s not very funny. Now they’re hiding out in a city that’s in ruins, shooting at the undead from the tops of buildings and living in abandoned areas. Now all they have is their wits and each other.

The group—consisting of Vic, Kellin, Justin, Jack, Nick, Tony, Jaime, and Mike—has been spending the past few days in an uninhabited house that’s still fairly nice. The first night after Gabe’s death, Vic holds Kellin’s body a little bit closer as they’re wrapped up in an old blanket on the couch. It’s been hard on all of them, though none of them are going to admit it, and it’s what makes Kellin remember that any of them could end up a victim. He can almost feel Vic’s protectiveness just through the way Vic’s arm is wrapped around him, as if something could burst in at any moment and take him away (which isn’t that far from the truth). Kellin usually argues when Vic gets this way, insisting that he’s a strong fighter and can fend for himself, but he knows that Vic isn’t like this because he thinks Kellin is weak. He’s like this because losing Kellin is something he doesn’t think he’d be able to bear.

When everyone else is asleep, Kellin whispers to Vic: “Why did this have to happen? Last week, we should’ve been celebrating our three-year anniversary, not fighting off fucking zombies.”

Normally, he wouldn’t dare to express any sort of emotion, because they all have to be strong in a dark time like this. Tonight, though, he feels like it’s appropriate, and Vic won’t judge him.

“I know,” Vic sighs into Kellin’s shoulder. “I know, baby.”

He doesn’t say anything else, because he doesn’t need to.

—

Calling it a “zombie apocalypse” almost makes it seem unreal. It is, in fact, very real, but the word “zombie” doesn’t even sound serious. It brings up mental images of The Walking Dead and Hollywood horror movies, of bad stage makeup and Halloween costumes. Most of the time, Kellin simply refers to zombies as “monsters,” “the undead,” or sometimes just “them.” Jack still likes to call them “zombies,” though, if only to keep up some sort of lighthearted air. It’s not really working, but Kellin gives him points for trying.

Vic gets more erratic and overprotective by the day, and it almost hurts Kellin to see. It’s as if he becomes more and more desperate to keep the people he loves alive with every day that passes after Gabe’s death. He’s always making sure that he’s close to somebody—most often Kellin or his younger brother, Mike—so that he can defend them within a second’s notice if need be. The rest of the guys remind him that he doesn’t have to be like this, doesn’t have to protect the entire group, but he ignores them. Kellin talks to him every night, assuring him that they’re going to be okay, that what happened to Gabe won’t happen to anyone else, but Vic doesn’t seem convinced in the slightest.

About a week later, the group is awoken early in the morning by the pounding sound of footsteps and banging noises. They’re all up and moving in less than five seconds, swinging their bags up onto their bags and holding their guns out in record time, ready to fight or flee at any moment. Kellin’s grip is steady, but his heart is racing as he glances out the window, catching a glimpse of the stampede of zombies that have appeared in the empty city streets. There are a few other unfamiliar-looking humans running around and shooting at them, but they’re vastly outnumbered.

Kellin takes a deep breath. “Okay,” he says, nodding toward different members of the group and yelling at them to go to different places around the house. “You know what to do.”

Their plan is to hide out in here and hope that the zombies walk right past them, but that’s not the case. Of course it’s not. It’s never been proven that the undead can sense living humans or smell their blood or something, but Kellin wouldn’t be surprised. They’re ready when the doors to the house are broken down and the ugly creatures force their way in (well, as ready as they’ll ever be).

The city is filled with the sound of gunshots as everyone in the house opens fire, putting one bullet after another into the zombies’ brains. There are a lot more than Kellin anticipated, though, and no matter how many they kill, there always seem to be more just waiting in the wings. The stream of monsters seems endless, and eventually, Vic glances up at the ceiling and calls, “Go upstairs! Jump out the windows and run!”

The group doesn’t even have to think, all of them suddenly switching gears and sprinting for the stairs. Kellin is one of the last people up, and when he looks back down, he notices Vic still standing down there and stubbornly fighting.

“Vic!” he calls. “Come on; get out of here!”

Vic almost seems to take a moment to think his decision through before he spins around and follows Kellin up to the second floor, rushing into one of the bedrooms and shoving the window open. Kellin’s heart lurches at the height, part of him afraid that he’ll break a bone or something when he jumps out and won’t be able to fight as well. He doesn’t have time to think about that, though; he can’t afford to give himself time for that. He just jumps, landing safely on the ground and giving a thumbs-up to Vic, who immediately leaps out after him.

The zombies outside have since begun surrounding the house, and even though they’re outside, they’re all still stuck in a sea of the undead. They shoot as they go, having to reload far too often and all praying that they don’t completely run out of bullets before this is over.

Somewhere along the line, Kellin loses sight of Vic in the fray, and that’s when the reality of everything crashes over his head, causing him to run faster, fight harder, unsure of whether the adrenaline rushing through his veins is due to bravery or panic. Now, along with fending off the undead, he’s also looking for his boyfriend, and he knows that it’s distracting him, but he can’t help it.

“Kellin!” Mike yells suddenly, and Kellin whips around, spotting a space where the rest of the group has helped to create a sort of path in the mob of zombies for them to run through before it closes up again.

Kellin sprints, as fast as his legs can possibly carry him, thinking less about shooting and more about escaping. He can feel the zombies’ hands gripping at his clothes, and he rips himself free of their cold grasp with every move he makes. In those few seconds, he nearly forgets about Vic, but when he remembers, he slows down dramatically, lifting his head up and trying to find his boyfriend. They can’t leave without him. They can’t.

Just as he’s about to keep pushing himself forward, he feels a cold, dead hand grab his wrist, but before he can even comprehend it, Vic flies out of nowhere and shoves the zombie off of Kellin, who stumbles to the ground. Vic points the gun at it, but he must’ve forgotten to reload, and in the few seconds that it takes, another zombie leans over from behind. Kellin reaches for his own gun, but it’s too late; within less than two seconds, the zombie has sunken its teeth into Vic’s neck.

If this were a movie, Kellin would laugh, commenting on how much this zombie resembles a vampire. But this is not a movie, and it is absolutely not a laughing matter. This is Vic being bitten by a zombie.

Vic yells out in pain and shoves the zombie away again as Kellin picks himself up from the ground and glances over at where the rest of the group has started running, away from the mob. They’re almost there, but for Vic, it doesn’t matter.

He still runs with Kellin, though, and that means the fucking world.

They’re side by side, shooting at anything that comes within five feet of them, breaking free of the horde of creatures and chasing after the rest of the group. Vic sprints like he has something to live for.

They run until they’re sure they’ve lost the zombies, breaking into another abandoned building to rest. Only then does anyone speak up about the gaping, bloody bite mark in Vic’s neck; it’s Justin who says it: “We’re gonna have to kill him now, aren’t we?”

Everyone turns to stare at Vic, and then their gazes all shift to Kellin, who suddenly feels like he’s about to cry. Even though Vic isn’t showing any symptoms yet—it takes a few hours before the disease starts to set in—they all know that within less than two days, he will no longer be human. He’ll just be another enemy.

“Yeah,” Vic says softly after a long moment. “Please do. I don’t want to be like them.”

At that, Kellin breaks, rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Vic in a final goodbye hug, kissing him long and hard without giving a shit about what anyone else thinks. Normally, their friends would make fun of them or tell them to “get a room.” But now is not the time to make fun. Now is the time to say goodbye.

The rest of the guys aren’t too big on emotions or affection, but Mike still takes his turn to hug Vic, and even though he’s clearly trying to act strong, Kellin can hear the way his voice shakes. It’s heart-wrenching.

“Make it fast,” Vic says finally, standing alone near the front of the building like he’s about to be sacrificed. There’s water in his eyes as his gaze locks with Kellin, as he mouths the words “I love you.” Kellin chokes on a sob as he mouths the words back.

Jack is the one who does the honors, his expression grim as he holds his gun up and fires. The bullet hits Vic square between the eyes, and he falls back, his body hitting the ground with a loud thud. Besides that, though, the only sound is the sound of the gunshot, ringing out across the otherwise silent city. Kellin hates himself for the tears running down his cheeks.

For a moment, they all just stare at each other and at Vic. Then Kellin clears his throat and says, with a cracking voice, “Well, I didn’t die second.”

Nobody laughs.

That night, Kellin doesn’t sleep. He’s so used to feeling Vic’s warm body next to his, so used to feeling Vic’s arm wrapped around him, and the absence of these things only reminds him of the fact that Vic is gone.

Kellin thinks a lot that night. He thinks about how afraid Vic was that he would lose someone he loved. He thinks about how ironic that is. He thinks about how sad that is. When Vic was alive, he was skilled and strong, but his fatal flaw would always be that he cared too much.