Secrets of an Angel

Jesse was made of the same stuff as snow, mesmerising to watch but to cold to love.

Some of us believe that snow is some fun, sparkly, magical thing that falls effortlessly from the sky but really it's just small pieces of ice that has the ability to freeze ones heart to death.

"He kissed you? He actually kissed you?!",

I look over at Imogen, my best friend, who seemed to be paying more attention to the long, thin, brown stick she was dragging along the concrete for no apparent reason then listening to me. That's what I liked about Imogen, nothing seemed to shock her, I could tell her that I was pregnant and she wouldn't seem one bit interested or bothered. But being calm and laid back doesn't stop her from worrying it's all she ever does.

"Keep your voice down!" I hush her, looking around the school grounds to see if any one heard her, I swallow a sigh of relief before answering her, "yes he kissed me...a-and I kissed him back, oh Imogen he makes me feel so so good. It's like I can't help but want him just as much as he wants me".

A frown appears on her pale little face as she raises an eyebrow, "you do know your uncle is a peodophile right?" She snarls, pointing out the obvious.

"No he's not!" I almost yell, defending my uncle, "he's not forcing me to like him and he's not doing anything I don't want him to do...and I'm gonna be 16 soon, I can make my own decisions".

"Your not listening to me" she huffs, stopping in her tracks and pointing the stick in my face, "you told me that he told you that he has had feeling for you since the day you were born...creepy right? And now years later he just pops up and he's already gotten you into bed!".

"For the last time Imogen, me and my uncle Jesse didn't have sex" I moan, rubbing the bridge of my nose and rolling my blue eyes.

"Yeah...sure" he tuts, removing the stick from my face.

"Your so annoying..." I moan, grabbing the stick out of her hands and throwing it into the nearby bushes.

A pout appears on pretty little face as she watches her stick disappear. Imogen wasn't one of the pretty girls and I doubt she ever will be. Her eyes are a icy blue like mine, she wears these huge black chunky glasses that sit neatly on her freckled nose, and she always wears her hair in two long black plats that fall way past her shoulders and down past her hips. She came with her own unique style and I wouldn't change her for the world.

"This could be love...".

"Snap out of it Angel" Imogen almost laughs, giving the side of my cheek a small smack, "love is nothing but a four letter word".

"Ow" I moan, dropping my bottom lip and rubbing my cheek with my hand.

"What hurt you the most? The smack or my words?".

"Both" I moan.

"Well you better get use to it because getting into a relationship with a 25 year old guy is gonna hurt a hole lot more Angel" she presses her pale lips together after speaking.

Maybe she's right, maybe I am getting in to deep now. I could just go home after school and tell Jesse the feelings aren't mutual and I don't like him. But then I would be lying and if there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at its lying.

"Maybe I should-"

My voice is over powered by the alarming sound of the school bell ringing, letting us know it was time to start a long and painfully boring day at school.

"We can talk after school about this" Imogen sighs, pulling her satchel over her tiny shoulders, "can I tell Mac about this?".

"Are you crazy?! No!" I almost choke, "you can't tell anyone, promise?".

I hold up my pinky finger to her and she bites her lip in thought, "Imogen!" I grit my teeth together.

"Oh fine" she sighs, grabbing onto my pinkie with her own, "I won't tell anyone...I pinkie promise"

"And you know what happens if you brake that promise right? You will have to cut off your hole pinkie finger" I warn her, trying my best to look and act serious.

"You know if one was to lose their pinkie finger then their hand would lose about 50% of its strength".

I roll my eyes at her, "would you just walk?!" I giggle, pulling her arm along, "we are going to be late for class".

School passed by, nothing really interesting happened apart from The fact I had art class today. I painted a bird that matched my uncles tattoo, I think I did a really good job of it to. After art class finished, me and Imogen spend the last 2 hours of our school day reading in the school library, reading was a passion both me and my crazy best friend share.

After school had finished Imogen decided that we should go somewhere where it's just the two of us so we could discuss my situation better.

It was only obvious that Imogen decided to drag me to our secret den we made as kids. It was a half an hour walk from school but it was worth it. I truly loved this place.

"I'm having the first go" Imogen yells, dropping her satchel on the dirty floor before running over to the tire swing that hung over a passing stream of water.

It proved very tricky to get on, we had to find a long stick to hook onto the rope to pull the tire swing closer to ground before jumping up and swinging over the stream of water. Imogen's dad had made the swing for us when we were 6 years old and I'm surprised that it's stayed up for all these years. The branch that's it's tied to doesn't look strong and the rope isn't in the best of shape, but still it does its job of keeping my best friend happy.

"Angel I've just realised something?" Imogen smiles, kicking her legs in and out to go higher.

"And what's that?"I sigh, sitting myself down on the ground, leaned my back against a tree.

"I'm surprised I didn't think of it earlier when you told me about your uncle, but I didn't really give it much thought until now and it's almost mind blowing, I've never known or seen any thing like it before" Imogen starts, her pale little hands gripping tighter onto the rope as it twirls her around, "you are considered a homosexual".

Wow.

I blink, her words going right to my head. I haven't really given much thought until now about my sexuality. I don't think me having a tiny crush on my uncle was enough to be a homosexual. I can't be one. No, I refuse to be one. I mean, what would father say? And my mother...oh my mother...

"Angel...are you ok?".

I look up to find Imogen, Gently swaying with the tire swing, a look of concern painted on her skinny little face.

I didn't even notice the tears building up in my eyes...

"O-oh I'm...s-s-sorry Imogen" I mumble, wiping my eyes with the back of my hands.

"It's ok Angel" Imogen's voice is soft and I can almost hear the love she has for me. Not a sexual kind of love, but a true pure love. "I'm still gonna be your best friend even if you do like men or in this case your uncle".

"I don't!" I yell, as the tears start to find a way down my pink cheeks, "I don't like men and I certainly don't like my uncle!".

I bring my knees close to my chest, hugging my legs with my arms I tuck my face away so Imogen doesn't have to see me cry.

I've seen and heard so many horrible stories about the town hating anything that's different. I remember when when the Evans family's son, Alec, took a liking to dressing as a girl, nobody approved of him. Their wasn't any help for him to go to or even any body who would listen, he was alone. So alone that he committed suicide because he wasn't aloud to be who he really was. Would the same happen to me if people found out that I was starting to like boys? Maybe this is just a phase...

A phase that might stick with you for a lifetime...

Shut up brain! I don't want to be a homosexual anymore...