Best Friends for Life

I step into our apartment, a load of groceries in my hand. I push the door shut with my hip and walk over to the kitchen to set the groceries down on the table. One of the plastic bags get stuck on my wedding ring. I unhook it and place the bag down, looking down at my wedding ring. I sigh as I twist it with my other hand. So many things float into my head, all the memories, good and bad. I shake the thoughts away. I have to start making dinner, he'll be home soon.

I'm boiling the water on the stove to make some spaghetti when I hear the door open. "Jess, I'm home!" He calls. I quickly dump the spaghetti into the pot, I was hoping to get it done before he came home.

"Hey," I greet him with a kiss. After I pull away I watch as his face contorts.

"Are you just making dinner?" he asks his forehead crinkles.

"I just got back from the store. It'll be done soon."

"I work my ass off all day in med-school and come home expecting to have a nice dinner with my wife but I can't because she couldn't get her lazy ass to the store earlier to be home in time to have dinner done by the time I got home." He takes so much effort to keep his voice under control. I can hear the strain in it, he wants to scream.

"I'm sorry." I'm not going to cry, I'm not. I'm stronger than that. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"Forget it. You're fucking useless, I'm going out." He storms out of the kitchen, grabs his jacket, and he's out the door before I know it.

I finish making the spaghetti. I make myself a plate of it before I sit down at the table myself to eat it. I sigh twirling the spaghetti on my fork. Forcing myself not to start crying. It's not so bad.

I finish eating and clean my plate. It's not so bad.

I clean the rest of the kitchen. It's not so bad.

I head to bed, slipping under the covers of our king size bed alone. It's not so bad.

I wake up in the middle of the night when I hear him stumbling into our room. I try to force myself back to sleep but I can't. He falls into the bed besides me and I can smell the alcohol wafting off his breath as he tries to pull down his pants.

"Damn fucking pants." He tries to whisper but in his drunken state it's louder than he thinks. I pretend to be asleep still. He eventually succeeds in removing his pants. He slips under the covers, throws his arm around me and pulls me to his chest before finally laying still. I'm still awake as he begins to snore. I try to fall asleep but it's almost impossible once he's start snoring. I sigh and try to fall asleep again. I'm up most of the night thinking of what my life's become. It's not so bad.

You know what was bad. Bad was slowly losing contact with the only friends you've ever known. Bad was being so far away from home that you barely saw your family anymore. Bad was being thrown into this new life and having to sink or swim. I was sinking so fast. I struggled to stay afloat at the beginning but soon enough I couldn't do it anymore. That was bad. Those were some of the worse years of my life. This? This was not so bad.