Lonely Stranger

The day Andy realised - after his years of dedication, after his adolescence and happiness had been stolen - that he would never be loved, appreciated, or even professionally valued, was the day he left.

That was the day he realised what a vile human being he was.

That was the day he realised that the people he'd grown to pathetically treasure were no more than ghosts, ashes in the wind, cruel whispers in the ears of the innocent, and the shadows lurking in the corners of rooms.

When he realised that he was worthless as a human, and only valuable as a trigger, when he realised he had let himself become that....he had to leave.

So, Andy packed up his few meagre, impersonal belongings, cleaned his guns and left them in their cases. All besides his trusty 9mm Berettas - couldn't leave them behind. As he walked away from the five years that really couldn't be described as a life, he felt nothing but emptiness. The sadness he'd been feeling long before that decision had fizzled out, becoming a hollow, empty hole in his heart.

.............

"Austin Carlile.....ok just let me check that for you, sir." Austin waited for the thirteenth time. He should've been used to the process by now, but he was still terrified. After over an hour, the records assistant returned with an apologetic smile and shook her head. He nodded and thanked her, bidding her goodbye as he walked out of yet another state records office.

California was the thirteenth state he'd visited in his quest to find out where he came from, who and where his real parents were.

He sat in a small park opposite the bustling streets, watching the horribly symmetrical, man-made pond sit statically amongst the perfectly arranged foliage. It took him a long time to summon the energy to stand and make his way back to his van.

..................

Andy had been walking for over six hours when he finally gave up and sat down on the side of the road. It was hot and dry, creating a horrible dusty atmosphere that the wind whipped up in the streets and flung at him like miniature needles into his skin. His feet ached desperately, in spite of his good-quality shoes that had helped him stand in wait for hours for his targets to move into his line of fire.

He tried not to deliberate, to think about the past, his...work. It was too painful, brought him too much shame to bear. He was long outside of Los Angeles by then, heading towards Bakersfield on the main road. He finally summoned the energy to stand and head towards the nearest gas station for food.

The decision that Andy would face wether or not to hitchhike would not be an easy one to tackle.

...................

Austin was heading towards Bakersfield when he saw the man on the side of the road. He drove past, and guilt nagged at him so badly that he turned back at the nearest turning and looped back round, pulling to a stop next to him. He wound down the window.
"Hey there!"

"...hi." The man said wearily, clearly exhausted.

"Where you headed?"

"Anywhere out of California. Hopefully either Oregon or Nevada."

"I'm heading over to Oregon - hop in." He climbed in, Austin noted that he tucked his small rucksack neatly under his legs.

"Thank you - I've been walking for hours."

"It's no problem - it's kinda nice to have someone to travel with anyway...sitting by yourself in this old tin can can drive you crazy with boredom." The other man laughed gently and nodded in agreement.

"Same with walking. I'm Andy by the way."

"Austin." He offered the other man his free hand to shake.

"Hey do you mind looking in the glove compartment? I think I've got a Nick Mulvey CD in there?" He asked after a solid half hour of surprisingly comfortable silence. Andy gingerly opened the drawer and flicked through his collection.

"Here.." He put it into the player and Austin closed his eyes as a favourite track came on.

"You into this sort of music?"

"I've never heard his stuff before....but it's peaceful, I like that. I usually go for bands like Alkaline Trio." Austin nodded.

"Yeah I've got one of their CDs in here somewhere. If you wanna change it over at any point, feel free." Andy nodded and leant back in his chair.

When Austin stopped for gas three hours later, he could tell that Andy was exhausted. His vivid blue eyes were framed by shadows, his face was ashen and drawn, and he looked like a man who had lost everything. His pain seemed to radiate through his skin. So when he tried to give Austin the money for gas, he declined.

He wasn't sure what to make of Andy, but he didn't want to think about what could have happened in his past to give him such a tortured soul.