Weight of Living

After a day or so of being on tour, Jack has noticed something…odd about Alex. He’s new to relationships. Hell, Jack isn’t even sure that he and Alex can be classed as being in a ‘relationship’. All they do is snuggle on the couch and watch DVDs while eating ice-cream. Is that a relationship? Jack doesn’t know.

What he does know though, is that it’s not particularly ‘normal’ to have a – although Jack dislikes classifying anything under the title of normal, he thinks it’s the only word that fits the situation he has – boyfriend (he guesses that’s what Alex is) that is seemingly unable to disagree with things that Jack himself says. Like, Jack’ll suggest watching a film, and Alex will go along with it, even if the film isn’t what Alex likes. Jack finds it odd, but he supposes that sometimes Alex just wants to watch a movie without knowing the plot or any of the main characters.

(But not all the time, and that’s what makes Alex’s behaviour odd.)



Two days later, and Jack is with Alex, watching him change for the show they have that night, while also reading a magazine.

“Don't you think that those jeans are a bit tight?” Jack says absentmindedly, his eyes flicking briefly up from the trashy magazine.

Jack watches as Alex’s face scrunches up in concern. Jack finds the way that Alex’s face does that cute, but don’t tell Alex that.

“You think?” Alex replies, looking critically down at the jeans in question, “Do you think I should switch them?”

“If you want.” Jack mumbles, getting absorbed in his magazine again. He’s already dressed, the only thing he needs to do is straighten his hair, and he’ll do that once Alex is dressed.

“I’m gonna change.”

“Ok Alex.”



During their set, Jack has a great time annoying Alex, Rian and Zack, as is usual for him. However, he feels as though his brain is doing it on autopilot because most of it is focusing on the way that Alex changed as soon as Jack mentioned his jeans being too tight. It’s weird, but Jack maybe, sort of liked the way Alex responded immediately to what he’d said.

“Hey Jack,” Alex says into the microphone, grinning at him, “The fans want us to – ompf!”

The reason Alex never finishes his sentence is because Jack has already started to kiss him. Not that Jack has planned on interrupting his sentence; he just knew what the fans want. They scream for it at every single show, and this one is no different.

Jack can feel that Alex’s lips are soft, which makes him wonder if Alex uses chapstick, but he’s never seen his boyfriend using it, so maybe it’s just Alex.



After the show, when they’ve all had a shower and changed from their sweaty clothes into fresh ones, Jack’s with Rian, while Alex and Zack play some sort of game of the X-Box. He isn’t paying attention to what they’re playing, mainly because he’s trying to figure out how to phrase his question.

“Rian?” He says eventually quietly, after about ten minutes of staring blankly at the motion happening on the TV screen.

Rian turns to him, tilts his head to one side, and says, “Yeah Jack?”

“Is – is…” Jack says, letting his eyes go from Rian’s face to the window behind him and back again, “Is it normal for someone to be…sensitive to things other people say?”

After saying what has been on his mind since before the show, Jack isn’t sure that he’s worded it quite right, but mentally shrugs anyway. Hopefully Rian will get what he means regardless. After a moment of thought, Rian responds.

“Well, everyone’s different right?” Rian says, “So it makes sense that some people are sensitive to words, and others not. Does that answer your question?”

Jack nods, “Yeah. Thanks Rian.”

“No problem.”

Now that Rian has answered his question, Jack feels the small bubble of uncertainty that’d taken up resident in his chest, near his heart, disappear. It’s just Alex being Alex.

It’s fine.