Weight of Living

When Jack takes control and tells Alex what to do, he feels like he can breathe normally. It takes a metaphorical weight of his shoulders. Fuck, it means a lot more to Alex than he thinks Jack knows.

Hell, he likes it when Jack says stuff like: “Hey Alex, d’you wanna sit over here?” when they’re on the tour bus, and “Alex, you’re ok with Taco Bell for dinner, aren’t you?” It makes it feel like he has an input on what they do, but Alex knows that he’s fine with Jack choosing for him. The night at the bar, where Jack ordered rum and cokes for them both, is a good example, even if he did end up with one hell of a hangover the next day.

He doesn’t know what that says about him, but he chooses not to think on it too hard.

Instead, he focuses on Jack and the happiness he brings him.

It’s easier that thinking.



“Alex.”

Alex’s eyes flutter open, “Mmhm?”

“You should go to bed.” Jack suggests gently.

“That’s probably a good ‘dea…” He mumbles into Jack’s shoulder, allowing his eyes to slip close again.

“Alex,” Jack says seriously, and Alex forces his eyes to open and focus on Jack’s lips moving, “Go to bed.”

“Okay.” Alex says, getting up slowly and turning to the bunk area, intending to stumble to his bunk and fall into it.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Alex blinks and tries to force his brain to work, his brows furrowing in thought. But after a few moments, he couldn’t think what he was forgetting. He blinks slowly at his boyfriend, hoping he will enlighten him, because he has no clue what he’s failing to remember.

Jack sighs heavily, “Give me a kiss Alex.”

“Oh.”

And now Alex can’t believe he forgot. It’s something he does every night to Jack before going to sleep, which only confirms his belief that he needs sleep.

Alex leans over and plants a kiss on Jack’s lips, pulling away quickly because, yeah, he’s falling asleep standing up, which isn’t pleasant.

Jack smiles and says, “Thank you Alex.”

The happiness he can see on Jack’s face pulls a small smile from Alex, just before his eyes try to close again.

He turns and goes to his bunk, falling into it unceremoniously. He doesn’t even bother to change, he just falls asleep in what he’s dressed in.



Alex vaguely hears Jack sighing as he comes in, and then he’s being undressed carefully. His jeans come off first, leaving him in his boxers, and then his hoodie is being pulled over his head. Jack then pulls the covers up and tucks him in. And that should make Alex feels weird, that his boyfriend has to undress him because he’s so fucking tired, but it doesn’t. Instead, it makes Alex feel…loved, which is the best feeling in the entire world.

He feels a hand running through his hair, and then Jack murmurs, “Alex, you’re so helpless without me, but that’s ok. I don’t mind helping you.”

Jack’s words are the last thing Alex hears before he slips into the darkness that is much-needed sleep.



“Hey Alex, can we switch places?” Jack says, standing above Alex.

“Sure.” He replies, smiling before shuffling to the right to let his boyfriend slide in next to him on the couch. Alex presses against Jack, humming with contentedness.