Won't Let You Go
Chapter Two
Fast forward six years later.
It's been six years since Matt's been in prison and six years since I lost my best friend Hayley. I can't tell you how many times I cry myself to sleep each night before I go to sleep and the nightmares that take over me in my slumber. I some times find myself thinking of what could have been. Where would we be at in our lives now? I'm living in a two bedroom apartment now that I share with Destiny. I had called her later that evening after I left the diner. I figured I'd might as well talk to someone; someone who didn't know Matt, and we became good friends ever since. I decided to finally move out and sell the house Matt and I shared. It held way too many memories; most of which were good, but I needed a fresh start. I decided not to leave Huntington Beach. It is my home now after all these years. I love Texas, always will, but nothing compares to Huntington Beach.
Today I'm going to visit Brian and Michelle. I've gotten really close with them about a year after Matt was sent to prison. Michelle has been nothing but supportive and her friendship means a lot. She tries her best to take my mind off Matt, but it's so hard when her husband was his band mate. I didn't think I would ever be able to hang out with the guys after what Matt did, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I want to be happy and want to move on for good and spending time with them has really helped me. It took six years for me to realize this. I haven't dated since then. I couldn't. I couldn't let myself get attached to another man. What if he turns out to be like Matt? is the question I let stop myself from being able to find happiness again. I'm not sure if I ever will, but I still hold onto that hope. I haven't lost that.
I started getting letters from Matt again. I forgot to mention that. He started sending them after he was sent away but he stopped shortly after because I threatened him with a divorce if he didn't stop sending them. I've been keeping them much to my surprise. I'm not sure why. I still love him and always will. A part of me wants to open them, but another part of me is scared what is in them. And another question I keep asking is why now? Why start sending them again after all these years? I contemplated for several minutes before finally opening one. This was the latest one he sent me and it reads;
Haven,
I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me anymore and I completely understand and I understand why you did what you did, but don't think I'm giving up on us. I have always loved you and never meant to hurt you. I know you sold our house. I really wish you wouldn't have done that. I'm glad to hear that you decided to stay in California though. I miss you so much it hurts. I know I have caused you so much pain and there are no words that can mend what I have done. Please tell the guys I said hi since they stopped coming to see me.
PS. I can't wait to see you.
Love always,
Your Husband
I read the last part over and over again. What did he mean by that? I haven't seen Matt since the sentencing. I haven't seen him in prison and don't plan on it and after all this time surely he would understand that. I wasn't going to let myself get worked up over his letter. Michelle had a nice day planned for us and I wasn't going to let Matt ruin it for me. I worked so hard to get to where I am now to let my Husband get to me.
I picked up the letter and placed it back in the envelope and put it in my dresser along with the rest of the letters. I would wait until I got home to figure out what I was going to do with them. I grabbed a pair of blue jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt and quickly changed into them. I brushed my hair and put it up in a bun. I didn't feel like getting all dolled up just to go to Brian and Michelle's. I put on a pair black flip flops and grabbed my purse when I heard my phone go off. It was a message from Michelle.
Turn the tv on to channel 9.
I read the text message and sighed. What was so important that I had to turn the news on? I thought to myself as I grabbed the remote and put it on the channel.
News reporter: "We just got word that Matthew Sanders broke out of San Quentin State Prison. No news on his whereabouts, but if you see this man he is extremely dangerous and you should contact the police immediately."
"Haven, do you have.." Destiny walked in, I looked over at her and completely lost it. This was the last thing I expected to happen, "Oh, honey, what's wrong?"
"He's out.. "
"Who? Who is out?"
"Matt. He escaped."
It's been six years since Matt's been in prison and six years since I lost my best friend Hayley. I can't tell you how many times I cry myself to sleep each night before I go to sleep and the nightmares that take over me in my slumber. I some times find myself thinking of what could have been. Where would we be at in our lives now? I'm living in a two bedroom apartment now that I share with Destiny. I had called her later that evening after I left the diner. I figured I'd might as well talk to someone; someone who didn't know Matt, and we became good friends ever since. I decided to finally move out and sell the house Matt and I shared. It held way too many memories; most of which were good, but I needed a fresh start. I decided not to leave Huntington Beach. It is my home now after all these years. I love Texas, always will, but nothing compares to Huntington Beach.
Today I'm going to visit Brian and Michelle. I've gotten really close with them about a year after Matt was sent to prison. Michelle has been nothing but supportive and her friendship means a lot. She tries her best to take my mind off Matt, but it's so hard when her husband was his band mate. I didn't think I would ever be able to hang out with the guys after what Matt did, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I want to be happy and want to move on for good and spending time with them has really helped me. It took six years for me to realize this. I haven't dated since then. I couldn't. I couldn't let myself get attached to another man. What if he turns out to be like Matt? is the question I let stop myself from being able to find happiness again. I'm not sure if I ever will, but I still hold onto that hope. I haven't lost that.
I started getting letters from Matt again. I forgot to mention that. He started sending them after he was sent away but he stopped shortly after because I threatened him with a divorce if he didn't stop sending them. I've been keeping them much to my surprise. I'm not sure why. I still love him and always will. A part of me wants to open them, but another part of me is scared what is in them. And another question I keep asking is why now? Why start sending them again after all these years? I contemplated for several minutes before finally opening one. This was the latest one he sent me and it reads;
Haven,
I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me anymore and I completely understand and I understand why you did what you did, but don't think I'm giving up on us. I have always loved you and never meant to hurt you. I know you sold our house. I really wish you wouldn't have done that. I'm glad to hear that you decided to stay in California though. I miss you so much it hurts. I know I have caused you so much pain and there are no words that can mend what I have done. Please tell the guys I said hi since they stopped coming to see me.
PS. I can't wait to see you.
Love always,
Your Husband
I read the last part over and over again. What did he mean by that? I haven't seen Matt since the sentencing. I haven't seen him in prison and don't plan on it and after all this time surely he would understand that. I wasn't going to let myself get worked up over his letter. Michelle had a nice day planned for us and I wasn't going to let Matt ruin it for me. I worked so hard to get to where I am now to let my Husband get to me.
I picked up the letter and placed it back in the envelope and put it in my dresser along with the rest of the letters. I would wait until I got home to figure out what I was going to do with them. I grabbed a pair of blue jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt and quickly changed into them. I brushed my hair and put it up in a bun. I didn't feel like getting all dolled up just to go to Brian and Michelle's. I put on a pair black flip flops and grabbed my purse when I heard my phone go off. It was a message from Michelle.
Turn the tv on to channel 9.
I read the text message and sighed. What was so important that I had to turn the news on? I thought to myself as I grabbed the remote and put it on the channel.
News reporter: "We just got word that Matthew Sanders broke out of San Quentin State Prison. No news on his whereabouts, but if you see this man he is extremely dangerous and you should contact the police immediately."
"Haven, do you have.." Destiny walked in, I looked over at her and completely lost it. This was the last thing I expected to happen, "Oh, honey, what's wrong?"
"He's out.. "
"Who? Who is out?"
"Matt. He escaped."