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I Wish That You Were Here By My Side.
All Relationships Go Through Shit. Real Relationships Get Through Shit.
Third Person POV, April 9th, 2012
Craig wanted to slap Ronnie for being so fucking stupid.
*Three Months Earlier, Flashback*
Third Person POV
Craig and Ronnie loathed each other, and they made sure everyone knew it and were never around each other if possible. So when he woke up naked, slightly hungover, and freezing next to Ronnie in Falling in Reverse's bus with bite marks all over his neck from the older man's fangs, Craig wasn't happy, to say the least. Well, to an extent. The truth was that Craig never hated Ronnie. No, Craig had been in love with the heavily tattooed singer since the Black on Black Tour in 2006. He'd reacted badly to the fact that the only man he'd ever truly been in love with hated him, and that's why he'd said and done things that should never have been said or done in the first place.
'Wait...I'm a fertile, Ronnie's a Dom, and there's no condom. Shit.' Craig thought to himself.
"Mabbitt? What the hell?"
"I think we fucked."
"We did. You were half drunk and in heat and you kept begging me to put you out of your misery by fucking you, and I ended up giving in."
"Please tell me we had protection."
"No. Now that you mention it, I don't think we did."
"Shit. Well you better learn to like me , because we're probably having a baby."
"If we are, I don't have to like you. I''ll be civil, but I don't have to like you. Now get dressed and get the hell out of my bus. This was a one time thing. We are not going to be together, you cannot come to me every time you're in heat and horny, and I am not in love with you. Never have been, never will be. I just wanted to get that across, so you wouldn't think anything like that."
Craig felt tears coming on. "Fuck you!"
"Did you honestly think that last night meant anything? Did you think I loved you?"
"No, and that's why I've been an asshole since 2008! I've been in love with you since 2006 and I reacted horribly when you said you hated me! Did you ever stop to think about MY feelings!? Obviously not because you're a self-centered dickhead! Don't look at me, don't think of me, don't talk to me, don't talk about me, and don't even think for a minute that I'll allow you to be in our child's life, if I am pregnant. I am so fucking done with you! But no matter what I do, you're always going to be in my fucking head because no matter how much I don't want to be, I'm fucking in love with you, you dipshit!" Craig yelled, tears flooding from his eyes.
"Craig, I didn't know, I'm-"
"Shut the hell up! We both know you're not sorry so just stop!" Craig shouted, getting more pissed off by the second. Once he was dressed, Craig slapped Ronnie in the face and ran back to his bus, still crying.
"Craig?" TJ asked, worried.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" The singer spat, running into the bunk room and slamming the door to the room behind him.
"I'm coming in." The bassist mumbled back. He wasn't about to let his best friend go through emotional turmoil alone. Especially if Ronnie was the cause, and if so, he'd have a word about it with Derek later. No one knew it, but he and Derek had been dating for six months and were still going strong.
"TJ, just leave me alone."
"No. Why the hell are you crying?"
"Ronnie."
"What did that fucker do now!?" TJ asked angrily. He knew how much Craig loved Ronnie, and it hurt him to know Craig was hurt, be it physically or emotionally.
"Last night was the last and worst night of my heat this month and I was half drunk and I begged Ronnie to fuck me. He eventually did and we woke up naked next to each other in his bus This morning. There was no condom used last night, and I freaked out. He proceeded to tell me that even if I do end up pregnant, that he'll be civil with me, but he'll never like me, love me, fuck me again if I'm ever around him when I go into heat, or ever want to be in a relationship with me. To him, last night was a one time thing that meant nothing. And I cussed him out and screamed at him and then cried, got dressed, came back here, and cried some more."
"That dick!"
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*End Flashback*
Third Person POV
Craig was three months pregnant and they were still on a year long tour with Falling in Reverse, Get Scared, Issues, and Beartooth. Because of their lead singer's current predicament, Escape the Fate's shows had become acoustic so Craig could sit down and wasn't bouncing around and potentially causing a miscarriage. Craig was done waiting for Ronnie to come around, so he, Nick, Johnny, Caleb, Derek, Ron, TJ, Michael, and Tyler working on a plan for him to seduce Ronnie.
"So Ron and Derek, when is your set?"
"2."
"Great. Ours is at one."
"So after we play..." TJ began.
"Derek and I sneak Craig onto our bus and into the back room, which Ronnie uses every tour." Ron added.
"As soon as you guys get back, you two make sure Ronnie goes into his room, and you lock he and Craig in there..." Tyler continued.
"And then, you fuck!" Johnny finishes.
"Perfect."
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*After Falling in Reverse's Set*
Third Person POV
'Ronnie's going to be pissed.' Craig thought to himself.
"We have a surprise for you in your room. You should go check it out." Ron semi-yelled.
"Okay...? You guys are acting weird. Where are Ryan and Jacky?"
"On a date." This was far from the truth. In all actuality, the couple were cuddling in Ryan's bunk and were in on Craig's plan. "Now go look!"
"It better be good." Ronnie muttered under his breath and walked into the back room and Ron shut and locked it behind him. Ronnie turned towards his bed, where Craig was sitting.
'Oh hell no.' He thought to himself.
"What the hell!?" The Falling in Reverse singer yelled, trying to open the door. "Let me the fuck out of here!"
"I would, but we've got a double date, me and Hayley, Derek and TJ. Bye!" Ron yelled and he and Derek left the bus, Ryan and Jacky laughing their assets off in their bunk.
"Why are you even here? You made it clear you never wanted to see me again, so what the hell? Are you masochistic or something?"
"I needed to talk to you about...this." Craig quipped, pointing to his stomach. "I can't support a baby with the lifestyle I live and neither can you. I would NEVER get an abortion, but I'm considering adoption." When Craig said this, Ronnie's whole world fell apart.
"Craig, n-"
"I'm not quite sure yet, but I might give the baby to Max and Ryan." How Ryan Ross, former guitarist for Panic! At the Disco, became mated to Max was odd. The previous year, Max had just gotten out of rehab and went to the restaurant Ryan was playing an acoustic one-off show at, and they met when Ryan offered to buy him a drink but Max nearly puked and said that he'd been clean for a week and that he wasn't about to relapse. So instead, Ryan bought him a glass of Pepsi and wrote his number on the straw wrapper and the rest was history. "They've been trying to no avail, and they would be great parents." Something caught Craig's eye. There was a pile of books and magazines in the corner, and the top magazine talked about...parenthood?
"No, don't look at tha- shit!" Ronnie exclaimed and Craig started going through the pile. There were tons of newspaper articles and magazines and books stacked up that were about love, healthy relationships, anger management, and parenthood.
"Ronnie? What is this?"
"When I first found out from Monte that you were pregnant, even though you told me I wasn't allowed in our child's life, I was ducking elated, because I was going to be a father. So, I went out and I got as much information about parenthood as I could so I could prove to you that I wasn't going to give up and let you take our child from me before they were even born."
"What about the magazines and books about love, relationships, and anger management? Ronnie, are you in love with me?"
"Yes. I was fucking terrified to admit it three months ago, so I did what I did to protect you from me. I'm damaged goods, Craig. Trust me. You don't want me."
"Ronnie, when I look at you, I don't see an ex-druggie, a felon, and a dangerous douche bag. When I look at you, I see a man who's been misjudged and mistreated his whole life, a man who deserves to feel happy and loved. I love you, and I do want you. You're not perfect, but none of us are. You're perfect enough for me." Craig said, pulling Ronnie into his arms.
Ronnie looked into the younger man's eyes and saw nothing but love. And in that moment, he realized that he had been pushing the love of his life away, and that needed to end. So what did Ronnie do? Well, he kissed Craig. Just a soft, sweet kiss, one that let each man know that they were each other's and each other's alone. Soon, the two men found themselves lying down in the elder's bed, his arms around the younger. To Craig, this was perfect. To him, Ronnie was his world. Ronnie was his home.
Craig wanted to slap Ronnie for being so fucking stupid.
*Three Months Earlier, Flashback*
Third Person POV
Craig and Ronnie loathed each other, and they made sure everyone knew it and were never around each other if possible. So when he woke up naked, slightly hungover, and freezing next to Ronnie in Falling in Reverse's bus with bite marks all over his neck from the older man's fangs, Craig wasn't happy, to say the least. Well, to an extent. The truth was that Craig never hated Ronnie. No, Craig had been in love with the heavily tattooed singer since the Black on Black Tour in 2006. He'd reacted badly to the fact that the only man he'd ever truly been in love with hated him, and that's why he'd said and done things that should never have been said or done in the first place.
'Wait...I'm a fertile, Ronnie's a Dom, and there's no condom. Shit.' Craig thought to himself.
"Mabbitt? What the hell?"
"I think we fucked."
"We did. You were half drunk and in heat and you kept begging me to put you out of your misery by fucking you, and I ended up giving in."
"Please tell me we had protection."
"No. Now that you mention it, I don't think we did."
"Shit. Well you better learn to like me , because we're probably having a baby."
"If we are, I don't have to like you. I''ll be civil, but I don't have to like you. Now get dressed and get the hell out of my bus. This was a one time thing. We are not going to be together, you cannot come to me every time you're in heat and horny, and I am not in love with you. Never have been, never will be. I just wanted to get that across, so you wouldn't think anything like that."
Craig felt tears coming on. "Fuck you!"
"Did you honestly think that last night meant anything? Did you think I loved you?"
"No, and that's why I've been an asshole since 2008! I've been in love with you since 2006 and I reacted horribly when you said you hated me! Did you ever stop to think about MY feelings!? Obviously not because you're a self-centered dickhead! Don't look at me, don't think of me, don't talk to me, don't talk about me, and don't even think for a minute that I'll allow you to be in our child's life, if I am pregnant. I am so fucking done with you! But no matter what I do, you're always going to be in my fucking head because no matter how much I don't want to be, I'm fucking in love with you, you dipshit!" Craig yelled, tears flooding from his eyes.
"Craig, I didn't know, I'm-"
"Shut the hell up! We both know you're not sorry so just stop!" Craig shouted, getting more pissed off by the second. Once he was dressed, Craig slapped Ronnie in the face and ran back to his bus, still crying.
"Craig?" TJ asked, worried.
"Leave me the fuck alone!" The singer spat, running into the bunk room and slamming the door to the room behind him.
"I'm coming in." The bassist mumbled back. He wasn't about to let his best friend go through emotional turmoil alone. Especially if Ronnie was the cause, and if so, he'd have a word about it with Derek later. No one knew it, but he and Derek had been dating for six months and were still going strong.
"TJ, just leave me alone."
"No. Why the hell are you crying?"
"Ronnie."
"What did that fucker do now!?" TJ asked angrily. He knew how much Craig loved Ronnie, and it hurt him to know Craig was hurt, be it physically or emotionally.
"Last night was the last and worst night of my heat this month and I was half drunk and I begged Ronnie to fuck me. He eventually did and we woke up naked next to each other in his bus This morning. There was no condom used last night, and I freaked out. He proceeded to tell me that even if I do end up pregnant, that he'll be civil with me, but he'll never like me, love me, fuck me again if I'm ever around him when I go into heat, or ever want to be in a relationship with me. To him, last night was a one time thing that meant nothing. And I cussed him out and screamed at him and then cried, got dressed, came back here, and cried some more."
"That dick!"
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*End Flashback*
Third Person POV
Craig was three months pregnant and they were still on a year long tour with Falling in Reverse, Get Scared, Issues, and Beartooth. Because of their lead singer's current predicament, Escape the Fate's shows had become acoustic so Craig could sit down and wasn't bouncing around and potentially causing a miscarriage. Craig was done waiting for Ronnie to come around, so he, Nick, Johnny, Caleb, Derek, Ron, TJ, Michael, and Tyler working on a plan for him to seduce Ronnie.
"So Ron and Derek, when is your set?"
"2."
"Great. Ours is at one."
"So after we play..." TJ began.
"Derek and I sneak Craig onto our bus and into the back room, which Ronnie uses every tour." Ron added.
"As soon as you guys get back, you two make sure Ronnie goes into his room, and you lock he and Craig in there..." Tyler continued.
"And then, you fuck!" Johnny finishes.
"Perfect."
***********************************************
******************************************************************************
*After Falling in Reverse's Set*
Third Person POV
'Ronnie's going to be pissed.' Craig thought to himself.
"We have a surprise for you in your room. You should go check it out." Ron semi-yelled.
"Okay...? You guys are acting weird. Where are Ryan and Jacky?"
"On a date." This was far from the truth. In all actuality, the couple were cuddling in Ryan's bunk and were in on Craig's plan. "Now go look!"
"It better be good." Ronnie muttered under his breath and walked into the back room and Ron shut and locked it behind him. Ronnie turned towards his bed, where Craig was sitting.
'Oh hell no.' He thought to himself.
"What the hell!?" The Falling in Reverse singer yelled, trying to open the door. "Let me the fuck out of here!"
"I would, but we've got a double date, me and Hayley, Derek and TJ. Bye!" Ron yelled and he and Derek left the bus, Ryan and Jacky laughing their assets off in their bunk.
"Why are you even here? You made it clear you never wanted to see me again, so what the hell? Are you masochistic or something?"
"I needed to talk to you about...this." Craig quipped, pointing to his stomach. "I can't support a baby with the lifestyle I live and neither can you. I would NEVER get an abortion, but I'm considering adoption." When Craig said this, Ronnie's whole world fell apart.
"Craig, n-"
"I'm not quite sure yet, but I might give the baby to Max and Ryan." How Ryan Ross, former guitarist for Panic! At the Disco, became mated to Max was odd. The previous year, Max had just gotten out of rehab and went to the restaurant Ryan was playing an acoustic one-off show at, and they met when Ryan offered to buy him a drink but Max nearly puked and said that he'd been clean for a week and that he wasn't about to relapse. So instead, Ryan bought him a glass of Pepsi and wrote his number on the straw wrapper and the rest was history. "They've been trying to no avail, and they would be great parents." Something caught Craig's eye. There was a pile of books and magazines in the corner, and the top magazine talked about...parenthood?
"No, don't look at tha- shit!" Ronnie exclaimed and Craig started going through the pile. There were tons of newspaper articles and magazines and books stacked up that were about love, healthy relationships, anger management, and parenthood.
"Ronnie? What is this?"
"When I first found out from Monte that you were pregnant, even though you told me I wasn't allowed in our child's life, I was ducking elated, because I was going to be a father. So, I went out and I got as much information about parenthood as I could so I could prove to you that I wasn't going to give up and let you take our child from me before they were even born."
"What about the magazines and books about love, relationships, and anger management? Ronnie, are you in love with me?"
"Yes. I was fucking terrified to admit it three months ago, so I did what I did to protect you from me. I'm damaged goods, Craig. Trust me. You don't want me."
"Ronnie, when I look at you, I don't see an ex-druggie, a felon, and a dangerous douche bag. When I look at you, I see a man who's been misjudged and mistreated his whole life, a man who deserves to feel happy and loved. I love you, and I do want you. You're not perfect, but none of us are. You're perfect enough for me." Craig said, pulling Ronnie into his arms.
Ronnie looked into the younger man's eyes and saw nothing but love. And in that moment, he realized that he had been pushing the love of his life away, and that needed to end. So what did Ronnie do? Well, he kissed Craig. Just a soft, sweet kiss, one that let each man know that they were each other's and each other's alone. Soon, the two men found themselves lying down in the elder's bed, his arms around the younger. To Craig, this was perfect. To him, Ronnie was his world. Ronnie was his home.