Miles Away
two
John had gotten a new jeep before he left for the bands American Candy tour. And while he was excited about it for months and couldn’t wait to come home to it to take it out, as he loaded it up with a bunch of things now, it didn’t seem as fulfilling anymore. He knew the only reason for that was because he wasn’t in the right place mentally - had he been packing up months ago, he would have been doing it with an excited grin on his face. Right now, however, it felt like more of a chore as he hauled things into the trunk and backseat, his mother watching from the door.
Jenny knew her son better than anyone ever could have, so she knew something was wrong, no matter how many times John had faked a smile for her. She almost wanted to stop him from going alone, wanted to tell him he needed to be around people right now, but she knew John settled best when he had time to himself. Being a mother, she was scared he would back out of this driveway and take his car right over the side of a road or bridge and she found her throat being choked up with pending tears. Of course, she had more faith in her eldest son than that - he had fought those thoughts off once and he was still here. She knew that behind all of the harmful thoughts that he was counting reasons to stay alive.
Truthfully, John was just counting how many miles away Seattle was.
Seattle - it was the place he had heard Audrey fled to after their fallout and he was determined that a road trip and a rekindled romance would settle his dark thoughts. He had never deleted her number from the contact list in his phone, and she had always loved surprises anyways. He had planned this to be a romantic gesture, the most epic of sorry’s he's ever told. He had also planned it to be a twenty-eight hour drive, right through California, a place he loved dearly. He had hoped that the scenic route would restore his love for life and the world. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous it wouldn’t work this time around.
After throwing the last of his things into his car, he pushed the door closed and turned to his mom. He never wanted to worry her, but he knew that she was well aware he hadn’t been dealing too well. He never wanted to be a burden to her, so he never told her how destructive his thoughts had become. It absolutely broke her the first time around and he couldn’t stand to see the hurt on her face again. He was just protecting her, and she knew that. So she held a smile on her lips and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“You’ve got everything, right?” She asked as she pulled herself from he embrace to give him a stern look. He had always forgotten something.
John playfully rolled his eyes, “I have everything.”
“Do you have a map? You know you can never rely on those phones and -“
“Mom,” he laughed, placing his hands on her shoulders, “I have a map. I’m going to be okay. I’ll call you anytime I can, alright?”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” he said, earning a disbelieving look. “Really!” He laughed again because he knew that while he was on tour he never called her as much as he should have, and she had always scolded him for that. He removed his hands from her shoulders, and dropped them to his side.
“Okay,” she said, “well, have fun. And make sure you eat enough!” She called out to him as he walked back to his Jeep. He only shook his head, knowing full well the entire time he was away she would worry about him. She always had. He opened the door to the drivers side and hopped in, waving at her from the open window.
“Love you, mom,” he called before for backing out the driveway.
Jenny knew her son better than anyone ever could have, so she knew something was wrong, no matter how many times John had faked a smile for her. She almost wanted to stop him from going alone, wanted to tell him he needed to be around people right now, but she knew John settled best when he had time to himself. Being a mother, she was scared he would back out of this driveway and take his car right over the side of a road or bridge and she found her throat being choked up with pending tears. Of course, she had more faith in her eldest son than that - he had fought those thoughts off once and he was still here. She knew that behind all of the harmful thoughts that he was counting reasons to stay alive.
Truthfully, John was just counting how many miles away Seattle was.
Seattle - it was the place he had heard Audrey fled to after their fallout and he was determined that a road trip and a rekindled romance would settle his dark thoughts. He had never deleted her number from the contact list in his phone, and she had always loved surprises anyways. He had planned this to be a romantic gesture, the most epic of sorry’s he's ever told. He had also planned it to be a twenty-eight hour drive, right through California, a place he loved dearly. He had hoped that the scenic route would restore his love for life and the world. And he would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous it wouldn’t work this time around.
After throwing the last of his things into his car, he pushed the door closed and turned to his mom. He never wanted to worry her, but he knew that she was well aware he hadn’t been dealing too well. He never wanted to be a burden to her, so he never told her how destructive his thoughts had become. It absolutely broke her the first time around and he couldn’t stand to see the hurt on her face again. He was just protecting her, and she knew that. So she held a smile on her lips and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.
“You’ve got everything, right?” She asked as she pulled herself from he embrace to give him a stern look. He had always forgotten something.
John playfully rolled his eyes, “I have everything.”
“Do you have a map? You know you can never rely on those phones and -“
“Mom,” he laughed, placing his hands on her shoulders, “I have a map. I’m going to be okay. I’ll call you anytime I can, alright?”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” he said, earning a disbelieving look. “Really!” He laughed again because he knew that while he was on tour he never called her as much as he should have, and she had always scolded him for that. He removed his hands from her shoulders, and dropped them to his side.
“Okay,” she said, “well, have fun. And make sure you eat enough!” She called out to him as he walked back to his Jeep. He only shook his head, knowing full well the entire time he was away she would worry about him. She always had. He opened the door to the drivers side and hopped in, waving at her from the open window.
“Love you, mom,” he called before for backing out the driveway.
♠ ♠ ♠
As I said, this is going to be a shorter type of story, and hopefully it'll be easier to read that way.Thank you to abigailaag for commenting! And thank you to anyone who has subscribed. It'll pick up soon, I promise!