Cleave

“What do you think of this one, MJ?” my dad asked me as we wandered through the third apartment of the day. It was pretty bland – your typical one-person apartment. It had one bedroom, a living space that could fit in a television and a couch, small kitchen and bathroom and a communal laundry downstairs. The only difference between this one and the last one was that this had dark polished floorboards throughout the house (except the bathroom where it was tiled with an ugly brown tile) whereas the other had carpet in the living and bedroom, linoleum for the kitchen and big white tiles for the bathroom.

I shrugged in reply to my father. “It's alright, but I think I liked the one before better.”

Angel squeezed my hand. “Babe, the carpet in that one was stained so much I don't even know what colour it's meant to be.”

“Yeah but at least it was light,” I argued. “This is too dark, like I'd be living in a cave or something. I'd have enormous electrical bills cause I'd need about fifty lamps.”

“Okay, okay, fair enough,” Angel sighed. I think he was getting a bit sick of walking through apartments. We had been going apartment hunting for the past two Saturdays and I still hadn't found one I liked. Drew had offered for me to move into his house with him and Angel, which I think Angel would have preferred, but I wanted my own place, at least for a little while, so I could learn to be self-sufficient.

“Well we still have one more to look at today. Maybe this next one will be the one,” Dad said enthusiastically.

“Fingers crossed,” Angel muttered. I shot him a warning look and pulled him out of the apartment, heading to the car while Dad locked up and put the key in the letterbox. Angel and I got in the back of the car once Dad unlocked it, and almost immediately my boyfriend rested his head on my shoulder.

Dad drove for about ten minutes until we pulled up outside of a block of apartments that had lush trees growing outside. The outside of the actual building was a bit shabby – the light grey paint was coming off and the pipe work was rusty, but the atmosphere was peaceful. I had a good feeling about this place even before stepping into the apartment that was for rent.

The three of us walked up two flights of stairs to get to the level that the apartment was on. The building looked like it didn’t have an elevator, which would make getting large furniture and things up there a bit difficult, but the stairwell was wide, as was the balcony that we walked along to reach the apartment door, so hopefully we would be able to use that to our advantage. The door of the apartment was a faded red, with bronze numbers declaring it to be 2-06.

Dad bent down and pulled a key out from under the rug, and stood up to unlock the door.
We were greeted by a room with light-coloured painted walls and a large window almost directly opposite the front door, which let in a lot of light. After stepping into the place, looking to my left, I saw the kitchen, which had wooden floorboards. The cabinets were also wooden and they had faux-marble countertops, which I thought made the kitchen look quite classy. There was a basic oven and cooktop and space for a good sized refrigerator, plus a sink and what looked like plenty of storage for food and plates and stuff. There was also a breakfast bar which had two chairs, meaning that I wouldn’t need to buy a dining table like I would have for any of the other places we had looked at.

The breakfast bar created a sort of barrier between the kitchen and the living room, which was carpeted in a light beige carpet that looked really soft to walk on barefoot, and there looked to be plenty of room for a couch, maybe a couple of chairs, and a decent sized television which would go against the part wall that separated the bedroom area from the rest of the place.

The bedroom area was large enough for a queen-sized bed and two reasonably small bedside cabinets, as well as a built-in closet, and there was another big window above where the bed would go.

Finally, the bathroom. It was quite small, with only the basics installed: a toilet, a shower, a cabinet with a sink and a mirror, but it suited my needs. As long as the shower had decent water pressure and the toilet flushed, that was enough for me.

Angel, Dad and I had wandered through the apartment without speaking, but now, once our self-guided tour was over, I spoke.
“This is the one,” I told them. “I know it’s a bit more expensive than the others, but it’s so much better than the others, too. And it’s really not that much more expensive anyway, only $100 a fortnight more…”

I stopped talking, waiting for either Dad or Angel to argue with me, but neither of them did.
Instead, Dad just smiled at me and said, “Okay, then. As long as you’re sure?”

“Yes, positive.”

“I guess we should head to the real estate agents and tell them this is the one,” Dad said, reaching over and squeezing my shoulder gently. I beamed back at him. I was stoked. I just hoped that nobody else was interested in renting this place as well, because they would have a fight on their hands.

Angel moved closer to me a wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me tight and nuzzling his face into my neck.

“This one is the closest to Drew’s place as well,” he mumbled, his breath hitting my neck and making me flinch slightly from the tickle. “Probably within walking distance.”

“That’s just a bonus,” I mumbled back. He lifted his head to cast his eyes around the apartment one more time before they focused on the bedroom area.

“Plenty of room for a big bed here, too,” Angel commented. I blushed, but only because my dad let out a small hum of disapproval, indicating that he heard the comment. In actual fact, I was thinking the exact same thing, and I couldn’t wait to “christen” the apartment with Angel.

---

A few days later, I came home from work at the grocery store to my father waiting for me with a smile on his face.
“Um… hello,” I said when he didn’t speak, only continued to smile at me. “What’s up?”

“I heard from Barry, the real estate agent today. You got the one you wanted!”

I gasped, “I did?! Oh my God! Sorry, gosh.” I jumped on the spot a few times in excitement and then threw my arms around my dad’s waist. I knew that I probably wouldn’t have been able to get that one without him. I was just lucky that the real estate agent was an old friend of his from high school and he promised to put in a good word for us so that I’d have a better chance of getting it.

Dad laughed at my excitement and extracted himself out of my grip. “You’ll have to go in and fill out some paperwork and stuff, but then you should be able to move in within the next couple of weeks provided all the paperwork is good.”

I grinned. “Wow. This is all happening so fast! Holy shit… sorry… I need to let Angel know. Thank you, Dad. I love you,” I said, before I rushed up to my bedroom, pulling my phone out of my pocket as I went.

I called Angel while I got changed out of my work clothes and told him the news. He was pretty excited for me as well, or maybe he was just excited for the uninterrupted sex we would be able to have with me being in my own place. We hadn’t been able to do it very often since we got back together and I think both of us were craving it a bit.

We asked each other about our days (his at school and mine at work) and then the conversation moved to his Senior Prom, which was happening in just four days’ time. Seniors were allowed to bring a date from outside of school, so of course he invited me to come with him. I had never been to a school dance before, so I was pretty excited and even more because I was going with him.
We continued to chat about anything and everything until I heard a faint boop noise coming from Angel’s end of the call. He went quiet for a moment, before he let out a huff of annoyance.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Fucking Max. He just texted again.”

“What did he say?”

Max had been continually texting and calling Angel since they broke up, saying that he was going to get revenge and to watch his back and mine and all sorts of other crazy, stalkerish stuff. It was kind of frightening me a little with the savageness of some of the messages, but it was mostly just annoying Angel.

“It was just the usual bullshit. I already deleted it. I’m gonna have to change my number if he keeps trying to contact me though. Fucking psycho,” he said, his voice laced with venom.

“Can’t you block his number?”

“Not for texts, and I can only re-route his calls to go straight to voicemail,” he grumbled.

“That’s stupid,” I said, not really knowing what else to say.

Angel sighed, “Yeah, but what can you do about it? Anyway, I’m gonna go have a shower, babe. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, have fun, love you.”

“Oh, I will,” Angel replied suggestively, making me laugh, “Love you too. Bye.”

“Bye,” I said, and hung up the phone. I looked around my bedroom and took everything in. In just a couple of weeks, this wouldn’t be my bedroom anymore. Would it become a guest bedroom? Or would Sara or Elise move in? Surely they would have had enough of sharing a room by now; they’ve been doing it all of Sara’s life.

A sudden thought struck me. After I moved out, would Mom come back? Would Dad let her back in, despite the way she treated me? They still loved each other. I know this because they talked on the phone almost every night when they think that my sisters and I are already asleep and Dad was always saying that he missed her.

I decided to ask Dad about it, and headed towards the kitchen, where I knew he would be cooking dinner.

“Hey, Dad?”

“Yeah, Mics?”

“Is Mom going to come back once I move out?” I asked. I didn’t want to beat around the bush about it.

He sighed, and turned away from what he was stirring in a large pot on the stove to look at me.
“I really don’t know, Micah. I would like her to, and I think she would like to as well, but we’re still at a huge disagreement about you and I don’t know if we can come back from that. We’ll just have to see,” he told me. His eyes showed sadness I hadn’t really seen in them before, and I felt terrible to have caused this mess.

“I’m sorry,” I said, casting my eyes to the ground in shame.

“Hey,” he said loudly, causing me to lift my head up to look at him, “This is not your fault, do you understand me?”

“But it is!” I argued. “If it wasn’t for me, you two would be happily living together without a worry.”

“Micah, no. This isn’t your fault. You can’t help the way you are. And it also isn’t your fault that your mother has prejudices against the way you are. Your mother and I being separated for the time being is our decision, not yours.”

“I’m still sorry, Dad,” I said. Dad didn’t reply and turned back to the stove and continued stirring, and I knew that this conversation was over.

I figured I would help him get dinner ready by setting the table while he cooked, and the two of us worked in silence until dinner was ready, and we were joined by my sisters, who loudly chatted and laughed, making the atmosphere pleasant again.

Deep down, I knew that my parents being separated wasn’t really my fault, but damn did it feel like it was. I just kept thinking about how different things would have been if I hadn’t gone to Hillcrest, if I hadn’t met Angel, if I hadn’t fallen for him… I suppose that saying “everything happens for a reason” applies here, and I have to acknowledge that apart from my family life being strained, I was happiest I’d ever been with Angel in my life. I love him, he loves me and it feels amazing. I was moving into my own place in a couple of weeks. I had great friends. My dad and my sisters loved me. Plus I had my first school dance to look forward to in a few days. I was pretty content.