24 Floors.

I really didn't want to imagine Rian or Zack crying - hell, I didn't even want to imagine Alex doing it - but it was hard not to when they showed up with eyes as red as the ones I had seen on the other half of their band. The cashier had insisted on waiting outside with me, afraid I would run away again. However, he was totally forgotten about the second Rian and Zack jumped out of Rian's car. We ran to each other and met in the middle. I was suffocating in their embraces from both heat and pressure, but none of us wanted to let go regardless. "Thank god you're safe. We thought you were going to do something, especially after you turned off your phone." Rian squeezed me extra tight as he spoke.

"What do you mean I turned off-oh."

"Oh what?"

"I didn't turn off my phone. I kind of, um, threw it off a roof?"

I wasn't expecting them to laugh, but I was greatly relieved when their chuckles vibrated around me. "Let's go home, kid."

Once I was buckled in the backseat, we took off. "Did you tell Jack and Alex about me yet?"

Zack shook his head. "We figured if we did they would come here before we could, and I'm assuming you called Ri because you're not ready to face them yet. Although, if that's the case, I would get ready fast. I don't think they'll let you out of their sight for the next week, at least."

I let my head fall into my hands as I groaned. "I deserve that, I guess."

Zack scoffed. "You should be happy they're more worried than they are angry."

I didn't know how to answer that, so I didn't, letting the car fade into silence as I watched the scenery of my new home blur as we sped past it. We had to be going at least 60 miles per hour when the limit was no higher than 35.

It took a much shorter time for us to arrive at the house than it did for me to run away from it. The drive was only about 15 minutes.

Holy hell, did I run 15 miles last night?

"Oh no." Rian looked out Zack's window, making me follow his gaze. Before I even saw them, before the car could stop, two bodies hurtled toward us.

Rian slammed on the brakes just in time for Jack to throw open the door. "Jayden, fuck." I unbuckled my seatbelt as he practically landed on top of me, forcing me into a hug. "I'm so sorry about last night. I love you. I understand why you did what you did, but please don't do it again. God, you worried us all so much." He held me tight, and when he tried to drag me out of the car we both got caught on my seatbelt since I hadn't had time to fully take it off. We laughed through our tears as Jack fixed the belt with one hand, keeping the other around me. Once I was on my own two feet, Alex was in on the hug too. I heard two car doors shut, and soon I was in the middle of an All Time Low sandwich. I wasn't complaining one bit.

"I'm so sorry, guys. I really am. I didn't mean to worry you like this."

"Next time, just answer your phone instead of throwing it off a roof, yeah?" Rian mumbled into my shoulder.

Jack pulled his head back only slightly, eyebrows raised. "You threw your phone off a roof?"

My face went warm. "Maybe...it was an impulse decision, alright?"

"You're ridiculous, Jayden." Jack rolled his eyes, smiling fondly as everyone grumbled their agreements. "But we still love you. Always will."

***

"Seriously, babe. You need to rest. I've got Jayden, he won't go anywhere for the next few hours, I promise. If he does, I'll call the SWAT team personally." I watched the couple interact from their couch. Alex had an arm under Jack's shoulder as Jack held his stomach, face contorted in pain and slightly green.

Guilt settled even further into my chest when Alex had mentioned that Jack was so concerned about me that he made himself sick with anxiety. He probably had a stress ulcer or something. "Please, dad. Go to bed. I promise I won't leave this house. This couch, even. I'll be right here when you wake up."

Jack glanced between us slowly, warily. "Okay. O-Only for an hour or so, though. We can talk about this when I wake up." Alex tried to help him up the stairs to their room, but Jack nearly pushed him back downstairs telling him to watch over me as he hobbled up the last few steps.

Alex collapsed next to me on the couch, lounging lazily. He stared straight ahead, unsure if he wanted to look at me or not. His leg shook against the ground and his fingers twitched nervously. After a few minutes, it was clear that if I wanted any type of conversation with Alex, I would have to start it. "Alex." I breathed. I couldn't say his name any louder, but it was loud enough for his head to whip in my direction. "Can we talk?"

He sat up straighter, turning to he was facing me and sitting indian-style. "About what?"

Why do you hate me so much, Alex?

We'll talk about it later.

I turned and mimicked his position, staring at my lap as I spoke. "So, you remember the um, the shower incident?"

"Yes..." He replied hesitantly.

"And...the conversation we had in the bathroom?"

He was quiet, thinking. "I think so, but you might have to jog my memory."

My hands rubbed my knees. "I kind of, um, asked you why you hated me, and you brushed it off saying we'd talk about it later...it's later, Alex."

His exhale was a long whoosh of breath, as if this is what he'd been waiting for. "It's a long story."

"We've got an hour, and I'm pretty comfortable here."

He glanced at the stairs quickly before turning to me. "I'm sure you remember that time I told Jack to put you up for adoption."

I cringed. "I do. What does that have to do with anything though?"

Alex sighed. His body tensed as if he were literally forcing the words out of his mouth. "So, maybe a bit less than two months before we met you, Jack and I were looking into adopting a kid. We've been together for almost ten years now, and we were going to get married the next time we had a substantial break in touring. Everyone was behind us 100%, and I was super excited for us to be dads, probably a lot more so than Jack, who was a lot more worried about the logistics. I was kind of blindsided by the idea of taking our kid on stage and teaching them how to play guitar and watching them grow up before our eyes."

"Shouldn't you have been, like, ecstatic then when I showed up? I mean, I know biological kid wasn't exactly what you were looking for but I'm a kid nonetheless. And there's no reason to be angry with Jack or jealous of my mom because it was a fling from like, 16 years ago..."

He silenced me with a look - a look that pained me to see. "Just let me explain, please." I nodded for him to continue, holding my lips shut with my teeth. "So, in a really short amount of time, like two weeks - and I have no doubt that was because the woman from the adoption agency we met with was a huge All Time Low fan - they had a match for us. She was scheduled to be delivered in a week and we could go to the hospital and meet her right after she was born and everything. We even had a name picked out for her: Julia." I refused to cut him off again, but the only word filling my mind was had. "About five days later, we got a call at two in the morning saying the mother had gone into labor early. Obviously, we were so excited and we got our asses to the hospital in record time. I remember fighting with Jack on the drive there about what outfit we would bring her home in. I knew I would probably give in because I honestly didn't care. She could be wearing rags and she would still be my princess. All I wanted was to hold her in my arms." His breath hitched over tears. "But obviously, that didn't happen."

One of my hands moved from my knee to his. "Alex, you don't have to continue. I think I understand."

"No, I just...I need to get this out, okay?" I nodded slowly, squeezing his knee for reassurance. "Anyways, they only would let one of us in the birthing room. The lady didn't have a husband or family with her, and she said it would be okay if one of us wanted to watch. It was a pretty clear choice for us who would go in. It wasn't that Jack wasn't excited as hell or anything, but it was me who's pushed towards having kids for a few years now. He was always sort of skeptical before then. So I went in.

"The second I got in the room I knew something wasn't right. The woman, Miranda," He choked. "She was bleeding a lot. There was at least five doctors in the room and one of them handed me scrubs and told me to get dressed as fast as possible. They were yelling about an emergency c-section. I had to sprint to keep up with them as they ran into a surgical room and prepped her.

"The surgery was one of the worst things I've experienced in my life. They didn't have time for the anesthesia to totally kick in, so Miranda was screaming in pain. She actually sprained my wrist from holding it so tight. She was sick, too. She kept throwing up and her skin was paler than I thought was possible for a living human. She asked me what my name was and when I told her, she asked me to take care of her baby with everything I had. Those were her last words. It was only seconds later that they delivered the baby. She cried once before her breathing stopped, and we locked eyes. I-I think I was the last thing she saw."

I knew my jaw was hanging open, but I couldn't close it. Alex had his hands over his face, hiding as he cried. What could I do to help him? Was there anything? Probably not. I still was slightly unsure how this related to me, but I didn't want to ask him in the state he was in. I sat with him for a long time, probably enough time for Jack to have woken up again, but he didn't. I wondered if he knew what was happening down here, and that's why he stayed away.

Alex didn't move his hands - or the rest of his body, for that matter - when he regained the ability to speak. "Jack was upset, too, of course, but he wasn't there. He was able to move on a lot more quickly than I was. I don't think I left the bed for a week after that. He organized both Miranda's and Julia's funeral and made sure there was a memorial for both. He was wonderful, and it just made me love him more, even though I couldn't show it."

"And?" I prodded.

He took a deep breath. "The week before you came along, we were starting the tour and I was still miserable and depressed. Jack understood, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt him to watch me. The night before we left, our last night alone together, he made me promise that I wouldn't even think about having kids for at least another couple of years. He was totally against having a kid after that; he said even though the odds of that happening again were slim to none, he didn't want me to see our second child every day and be reminded of Julia all the time."

I cross my arms in front of my chest. "So when I came, that was what happened to you?"

He pulled his hands down, looking me in the eyes sympathetically. "Yeah, that's exactly what happened. Everyone was already on my ass and trying to help me move on, but I couldn't when I saw you, practically my child, around every corner. At first I was trying to make sure you stayed away from me. I didn't need the extra reminders, but you were always there. It just made me resent you, resent myself, even resent Julia and Miranda. It was illogical and I don't know how it ever made sense for me to be that rude to you. Then it only got worse when Jack started opening up to you. He was the one so adamantly against children just the week before and then he was all over you. I was mad because he could just change his feelings that easily, and I admit, I was a bit jealous when he started spending more time with you than me. I felt like I needed his attention, even though I was stressing him the fuck out all the time. I felt so alone. I guess it kind of clicked for me when I saw you in the shower that day. You felt just as alone as I did, even when we had the best support network in the world. And when I saw your bruises...I thought we were going to have a third memorial if something didn't change."

I didn't remember leaning in to hug him or him coming towards me, but I soon found us wrapped up together in a smothering hug. No words were said until we pulled apart nearly five minutes later. "I guess things make a bit more sense now." I laughed a little, wiping my tears with my sleeves.

Alex nodded, grabbing a tissue off the coffee table. "That doesn't make what I did any less inexcusable. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me eventually."

I pushed my mouth into a smirk. "One more chance, Gaskarth."

He held his fist out for me to bump, lips slowly forming a grin. "You got it, Barakat."