24 Floors.

The next day, I didn’t even have to look in a mirror; I knew my eyes were swollen and red the second they opened. I didn’t want to think about what happened last night, but the images, the words, wouldn’t stop invading my mind.
The sweaty men piled off the stage to get their heavy after-show shots. I was at least ten or fifteen feet away from the small tray, but the vodka still burned my nose. Somehow, I wasn’t surprised when Jack took three of them in a row. As Alex pulled Jack under his arm and brought his face close, I turned away and headed back to the bus. I might have been trying to wrap my mind around it, but in no way did that mean I could watch it. Not yet.
The bus was quiet for about an hour when I returned - Jeff, All Time Low’s light technician, had informed me everyone was going out to a bar after the show. I had been looking forward to at least a few hours of silence, but it wasn’t long before the front door flew open and two bodies stumbled into the bus.
At first, I tried to ignore them, expecting them to leave. I didn’t even know who it was, and I didn’t care as long as they left soon. However, it became clear within minutes that that wasn’t what would happen.
“Fuck, Jack.” A raspy voice panted. “I’m supposed to be on vocal rest.”
“Then I guess you’ll just have to stay quiet for once, won’t you?” Jack’s voice was slurred; he was obviously not sober in the slightest.
My eyes widened with their implications. I did not sign up for this.
I coughed loudly and gave them a few seconds to look decent before opening my bed curtain. They were sprawled out on the couch in the front, Jack on top of Alex. “Um, hello.” My voice was strained and I had no idea what to say. I couldn’t help the thoughts in my brain that made me want to scream at them, tell them how wrong they were, convince them that this was disgusting.
That wasn’t who I wanted to be, though. I wasn’t going to stoop to their level and fight dirty like they wanted me to.
“We’re busy.” Alex’s voice was gruff as he stared me in the eyes. Jack hadn’t even turned to look at me - he was too busy making out with Alex’s neck and grinding in his lap. I felt sick.
“What do you expect me to do?” Alex pissed me off more than any human ever had before. I hated his holier-than-thou attitude and how the world seemed to revolve around him. I refused to comply.
“Get out.” He said seriously. What the fuck? “It’s not like anyone wants you here anyways.”
I rolled my eyes, but really, his comment stung a little. I knew it was true, but the way he said it with such ferocity pierced my heart.
“Or maybe you could. I mean, I’m pretty sure no one wants you fucking like rabbits on here.” I tried to keep my voice steady, but the man could tell he was getting to me.
“Yes, but like Alex said, no one wants you on here at all. At least they care about us.” He’s drunk, Jayden. You can’t take what he says seriously. “You’re just a stupid kid.”
There was no way I was getting through to either of them tonight, so I closed my curtain again before the tears started flowing.
“Jack!” Alex moaned louder this time, undoubtedly putting on a show for me. Apparently, breaking me was more important that whatever show they had tomorrow. “Take it off.” I didn’t even want to know. Digging through my bag as fast as possible, I pulled out my noise cancelling headphones and my iPod, turning up the volume as loud as I could.
“Jayden, we have to talk.” Jack groaned from outside my bunk. I hoped he was fighting another hangover from hell.
My blood was already boiling from the small sentence he said. “We don’t have to do anything, Jack. Go the fuck away. I’m not talking about anything with you.”
“I’m sorry about last night. Alex told me what I said and I can’t forgive myself for that. God, I’m such an asshole and I’m trying to tone it down, I swear-”
“Stop.” I growled. “I don’t need your damn pity. Did your precious boyfriend tell you what he said, too?” Jack was quiet. “Exactly. Fuck him and fuck you. Go. Away.”
I couldn’t hear footsteps retreat, so when someone knocked on the wood beside my bunk, I screamed. “I swear to god if you don’t get away from me in three seconds I’ll actually fight you this time!”
“I’m not Jack, Jayden. Or Alex.”
I threw the curtain open, cheeks blazing with embarrassment. “Shit. Rian. Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I heard what happened last night, and Zack told me about your...reaction to them yesterday. I wanted to come get you out of the bus. Let’s go on a hike! There’s a nice trail out here but no one wants to come with me.”
His pleading eyes told me I couldn’t say no. “Fine. Give me some time to get ready.”
“Great!” He nearly squealed. “I’ll pack us some snacks and water! Apparently there’s a lake not too far away, we can stop there for lunch. It shouldn’t be too busy since it’s a Tuesday afternoon...” He rambled as he walked toward the front of the bus. Despite everything that had happened, I let a small smile raise on my face.
Before today, I had never understood why people hiked for fun. I’d tried it once before when my mom was on one of her health kicks, but I couldn’t find any enjoyment in climbing steep hills in hot, humid weather. With Rian, it was different. The weather was cool and refreshing. The forest teemed with life; birds flew around our heads and small game ran through the brush. The trail wasn’t at all difficult; overall, the entire scene was tranquil, and Rian was the perfect hiking partner. Strong and calm, he put me at ease and helped me over tall rocks and thick tree roots.
We didn’t talk much until the lake Rian mentioned came into view. “So, Jayden.” He started, and for the first time since we started walking, his peaceful demeanor was disturbed.
“What’s up?” I asked hesitantly.
“Zack told me everything...about how you’re feeling. He’s worried.” Rian blurted. “He thinks you’ll try to pull something stupid, and I promised I’d talk to you. Here, let’s stop here and eat.” He abruptly changed the subject and stopped moving, taking a seat on the lush green grass and motioning for me to join him.
This was the type of conversation I had hoped to avoid, which is why I was so adamant on not telling Zack in the first place. “Rian, I’m fine. This has just been really stressful for me. I knew my feelings were irrational before I told him.”
“It doesn’t matter if you think they’re irrational; what matters is you felt them at all.” The man muttered as he pulled out water and sandwiches, handing one of each to me.
“Thanks, but seriously, I’m okay now.”
He scoffed. “That’s bullshit. I heard how you talked to Jack this morn-”
“Stop! I’m not talking about him right now.” I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. Maybe if I got angry enough, I wouldn’t feel like crying. This whole ordeal was making me emotional and I hated it. I hated him.
“Jay, I know this whole parent thing is fucking with you, but it’s making you feel ways that no one should ever feel and I want to know how I can help. I know I’m not a therapist - hell, I think I’m just as worried as you are - but you really should talk to someone, and likewise, you need to know that even if Alex and Jack are total dicks about everything involving you, Zack and me and the rest of the crew are trying our hardest to help you out. We want you to be okay, and even if it’s making things harder for us, we don’t want you to leave if you can’t. We do care and we won’t abandon you. Ever. Even if we find your mom we’re still taking this to the authorities and she will be dealt with. This isn’t the way anyone should treat their child and it’s fucking disgraceful.” He was trying hard to keep his emotions out of this for me, but revulsion leaked through his tone in a way that showed me he truly felt the same way about this as I did.
Somehow, that connection made it that much harder to hide how I felt. Sitting by this beautiful lake on this beautiful day, all I could feel inside was the ugly of this situation. “I...I just want to go home.” I whimpered. “I want my life back...I want my mom…”
Pathetic. Pathetic was the only word I could think of to describe myself. Despite the shit that she was putting me through, I missed her terribly. Rian, being the wonderful man he was, didn’t say anything of that nature, only pulling me into a hug instead. “I know, Jay. I know it probably isn’t any consolation right now, but you don’t deserve the shit either of your parents have given you.” I could feel myself caving in and letting people call Jack my father without any protest. Even though we didn’t have satisfiable proof yet, there was hardly a point in denying our multitude of similarities.
“Thanks, Rian.” I sniffled. I don’t think it escaped his notice that I didn’t agree with him, but he chose to let it slide for the time being.
Rian’s warm, bright smile gave me a flicker of hope. “Anytime, bro. We should start heading back soon. I’ve got to get to soundcheck early to help set up my drums since my tech is sick. Wanna come help?”
My heart skipped a beat when he called me “bro”. I was an only child, and I never had any friends close enough to treat like a sibling. However, Rian considered me something like family and I had only known him for a few days. “Sure.”
“Oh! I almost forgot!” He chirped as he took our trash and put it back in his bag. “Since tomorrow is a day off, we get to sleep in a hotel tonight! And I may or may not have convinced our tour manager to get you your own room…” He grinned.
Without thinking, I squeezed Rian tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you!” Some alone time to process was exactly what I needed, and a big soft bed and luxurious warm showers didn’t sound too bad, either. “Seriously, Rian, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He ruffled my hair, and I already felt myself falling into the little brother role as I shoved him back.