Hold Me Closer

The sky was full of clouds, bathing the ground below in a dull film of grey that washed the color out of everything around them. The trailer that was supposed to contain all of their belongings was parked beside the cracks in the sidewalk, half open and echoing with emptiness. Raven sat, her legs crossed and her hair piled on top of her head, in the middle of the room surrounded by boxes. Her lips were curved into a frown and a mass of tape had formed a ball in her hands, her finger nails picking at the pieces that stuck out. The window in front of her revealed Bellamy, boxes piled three high in his arms, trying to make his way out of the door, one foot holding it open and the other hopping him out towards the trailer, his balancing act nearly failing. She supressed a smile and shook her head, picking up the marker beside her and writing KITCHEN across the front.

His footsteps echoed through the room as he crossed the threshold into her territory, the part of the house that was full of organized chaos, and he sighed. His face revealed his exhaustion but he stayed quiet, only walking past her to pick up more boxes. They hadn’t talked all morning, working around each other as if the other wasn’t there. He did the walking and she did the boxing, working in separate rooms and only coming together when it was necessary. Raven looked up, almost catching Bellamy’s eye, but looked away moments before his eyes met hers and she turned away, walking through the open door and into the living room behind them.



“We’ve had weeks to do this,” Raven’s voice was louder than she intended, but the anger bubbling inside of her pushed the words out with force. They were standing in the middle of the kitchen, her hands on her hips, his fingers rubbing his temples. Empty boxes littered the floor and the counters were piled high with things that didn’t belong there.

“You could have been packing, you know I don’t have time,” Bellamy sighed, his voice defensive and his eyes glazed over with anger and defeat. He kicked over a box and started throwing things inside, everything piling on top of one another.

“And I do?” Raven walked over and unpacked everything as he threw it, separating it into piled on the floor. “You need to organize it, it can’t just be thrown in.”

“Why am I even trying if nothing is ever right?” His voice was loud now and he leaned against the counter beside him, his breathing ragged as he tried to calm his nerves. Raven shook her head, letting silence fill the space between them. “You’re not even going to answer me now?”

“I’m not arguing with you,” she replied, grabbing the tape that was laying at his feet and taping a box together. “We agreed that everything was going to be packed and ready to go before moving day.”

“You agreed, I didn’t have a say in anything. When would I have time to pack up the entire house?” He was yelling now, refusing to hold back his anger. He saw her eyes close and flinch as the words hit her with full force, jaw clenching to hold back any words. He sighed and retreated to the kitchen table where he sat, going through the papers he brought home with him from work.

They silence gathered around them, pushing the air out of their lungs in heavy gasps. Raven looked up every so often, waiting to see if he was watching her, but his eyes were trained on the paper, refusing to move until they had scanned every inch of it. She shook her head and continued to fill the boxes, packing their life away in brown cardboard.



The rumbling of the engine filled the void that sat between them. All of the boxes had been packed into the little van, leaving their old memories behind and heading into the unknown, and the sun smiled down on them, wishing them good luck. Bellamy opened his mouth, almost breaking the two day old silence, but he stopped, letting the air out of his lungs slowly and steadily. His fingers tapped the steering wheel, matching the tempo of the bumps in the road, and he hummed along with the song that played quietly from the radio.

Raven stared straight ahead, eyes scanning the houses as they drove past. Her knee was bouncing up and down, something she did when she was uncomfortable, and her lips were pressed into a straight line. The car slowed and down and Bellamy turned the signal on, turning into the driveway of their new house. It was small, even from the outside, but she felt a small smile work its way to her lips. Brushing it away as quickly as it came, Raven cleared her throat as Bellamy put the car into park and unlocked the doors, a sign that it was time to get out and unpack.

He opened the door and stepped out onto the crack pavement, searching around in his pockets for the keys to the house. They made a quiet jingle and he felt his stomach lurch with nervousness at the thought of going inside. They had been in before, looking and planning, but this was the first time they could actually call it theirs. He moved towards the back of the van where Raven waited, leaning against the vehicle and tapping her foot. He unlocked it and opened the double doors, revealing all of their boxes, right where they had placed them. Moving quickly, they both jumped inside and started grabbing things, preparing for a long night of unpacking.



The inside of the house was small but cozy. The walls were covered in a deep purple, echoing the sky that had been consumed by darkness. The boxes had been brought in and piled in their respective rooms, lining the walls and floor with the washed out brown of the cardboard. They were in the living room, moving through the silence as they unpacked, Raven fixing a lamp while Bellamy lined the picture frames against the wall. She was leaning over, a screwdriver in one hand and a lightbulb in the other, trying to figure out why it refused to give off any light. She turned, trying to put down everything, when it all came crashing down on the floor, little shards of glass creating a portrait on the floor.

“Shit,” she curse quietly, moving to grab the broom that was leaning against the entrance to the kitchen. Bellamy caught her arm as she passed him and pulled her towards him, her lips curving into a frown.

“I need to clean this up,” she said, her voice almost a whisper. She tried to move away but he held her tightly, slipping an arm around her waist.

“I’m tired of fighting,” he whispered, his voice laced with exhaustion. He moved his eyes to meet hers, silently pleading for her to agree with him. She just nodded, moving to lay her head on his shoulder, and he pulled her closer as her arms curved around his neck. They stood there for a moment, the only light in the dark room coming from the streetlights shining in from the windows around them, and then they started swaying, moving with the rhythm of their breathing.

Bellamy’s breathing soon turned to humming, the quiet, wordless song was one that they both knew well. He felt Raven smile against his shirt as they swayed to the tune, and she looked up at him, the smile filling her face.

“You remembered,” her voice was still quiet, not wanting to disturb his song. He stopped for a moment, his lips matching the shape of hers. “Remembered what?”

“The song, the one we danced to on our first date,” she reminded him, though she knew that he was aware of what she was talking about. His smile grew and he just winked at her, causing a laugh to escape from her lips as he resumed his song.

And they stood there, his arms around her waist, her head against his shoulder, swaying as the world around them slipped away.