Love and War Aren't a Game

I helped lift Jacques into the back of the plane. When we were running for our lives, Steve had radioed for back-up and an evacuation vehicle, and apparently we were important enough to spare a small plane for.

“You’re going to be fine,” I reassured Jacques. Jim was by his side, helping the wounded soldier fit more comfortably into the seat.

“That’s everyone! Take us up!” Steve hollered while striding past me and to the cockpit. He grabbed onto a rail to steady himself during the takeoff, but once we were at a cruising altitude he leaned over and exchanged hushed words with the pilot before returning to the rest of us.

“How long until we’re at the base?” Jim questioned Steve, unable to meet Steve’s eyes because he was too busy staring at the shrapnel lodged in Jacques’ arm and back. No one wanted to remove the debris until we had experienced medics nearby.

“We’ll make it in time,” Steve promised. Jim nodded and turned his attention back to comforting Jacques and promising him bountiful amounts of alcohol once we touched down to ease his pain. I forced myself to stop staring at Jacques’ injuries, knowing that it was only going to make me feel worse. It wasn’t my fault. I had to remember that.

I glanced towards the back of the plane where Catherine was sitting, hugging her knees to her chest and keeping her gaze low. As awful as it was, I hoped she truly understood what her actions had led to and that she felt pain for Jacques. If she wasn’t so intent on being the best marksman then this would have never happened, and instead we would have all been walking away unscathed from that enemy camp.

“What happened out there?” Steve mumbled from above me. I inhaled as I flicked my eyes upwards and felt a surprising amount of guilt settling in my stomach while I prepared myself to throw Catherine under the bus.

“Catherine stole my shot. She wasn’t supposed to fire but she did and-”

“Bloody hell, I am sick of you two having your stupid contests!” Falsworth snapped at me, cutting me off. I stared with wide eyes at him, and then noticed that the others were also watching me with irritated expressions.

“This war isn’t a game!” Dugan shouted, thick eyebrows furrowed.

“The point of having two snipers is to make the team better, not to have a competition and constant fighting!” Gabe added. “It’s a mission, not target training! You both need to focus!”

“I agree, this shit has gone beyond ridiculous. It can’t continue,” Jim said in a quieter tone but his voice was still ridden with emotion over the situation.

“Harper,” Steve called out and Catherine tilted her head upwards. The disgrace was written all over her face for everyone to see. “You’re a private, which means that you take orders from your sergeant. It’s not a difficult concept.”

“I know,” she scarcely breathed, the words tumbling from her trembling lips.

“You’re not coming on our next mission,” Steve announced. I could feel a lot of tension from the men dissipate with the order, but it was as though all of that stress was forced inside Catherine. She stiffened and I wondered if she was going to start crying. “Take the time to think about what you’ve done, and why you want to be on this team. I hope you can redeem yourself when you return to the field with us.” Catherine nodded and Steve took a seat, silently letting us know that the conversation was over and to focus on something else.

I did my best to not think about how devastated Catherine looked until the plane landed. Then I was too distracted to even think about her. We were met by a swarm of nurses and doctors, and Jacques was rushed away from us on a stretcher. I made a move to follow Steve but a soft hand fell on my arm, demanding my attention. After turning I was surprised to not see Catherine but a nurse instead. She smiled up at me with bright eyes and I couldn’t help but grin back at the pretty woman.

“Are you hurt?” she asked, though I got the feeling that she wasn’t particularly interested in my health.

I chatted with her for awhile, responding to her flirtatious comments with smiles and enjoying some pleasant female company, but I soon realised that I just wasn’t in the mood and shrugged the nurse off by giving the poor excuse that I needed to report to my superior. Putting Catherine down and having the team show me how upset they were had really dampened my mood. Feeling the need to apologise or at the very least explain myself, I pushed past the crowd and headed towards Catherine, trying to catch her before she disappeared inside the base.

“Cat, I didn’t mean for-” I called out when I was finally close enough, but she quickened her pace.

“Go back to your nurse, Barnes, I don’t want to talk to you,” she muttered before heading inside without another look at me.

I told myself to not care that she was upset with me. I tried to remind myself about how I had never wanted her on the team anyway, first because she was a woman and second because she was a sniper, but nothing helped to alleviate my misery.