Love and War Aren't a Game

RIVALRIES

The silence was killing me. Jacques had been placed in the intensive care ward, which fortunately wasn’t very large, but it also meant that every patient was deathly still. A nurse sat at her desk, doing paperwork and waiting for any of the men to wake from their drug-induced sleep, but even her occasional shuffling noises couldn’t drown out the awful tick-tock of the clock on the wall.

All I could do was stare at Jacques and wonder what he would be doing if I hadn’t been stupid enough to take that shot. Why was I still trying to prove myself to Bucky? He had admitted that I was a good shot, he now knew that I was a sniper worthy to be on their team, so why had I messed things up by trying to be better than him? Now the team had paid for my mistake. Jacques had suffered wounds from the shrapnel created by his own bomb, and the others wanted me gone.

As I stared at his peaceful face I hoped that he couldn’t feel any pain, that the medicine was making him numb to the consequences of my fault. I wanted to profusely apologise and prove to him, and the others, just how much I regretted my decision. Hell, I was even willing to put my differences aside with Bucky and obey whatever he said without question if it meant that I could stay on the team and continue to go on missions with them. I knew that I was capable of keeping up with the men now, and I had felt like in a way they had finally accepted that too. I had been living the dream as a member of the Howling Commandos and I had been incredibly happy.

A creak came from the doorway and I glanced up, straightening my back when I spotted Steve lingering there.

“Catherine, I need to speak with you,” he stated. I immediately stood and walked to the exit like the good soldier I was supposed to be. Steve held the door open for me and then gestured down the hall, so I walked by his side, quickening my pace to keep up with his long strides.

“Is Jacques going to be okay?” I asked, hoping that Steve would know more about his condition than I had gathered by merely watching over him.

“He should be,” Steve replied but that only made my gut sink further.

“Should be?” I repeated uneasily. Steve glanced down at me for a brief second before looking straight ahead again, though it wasn’t really like he needed to watch where he was walking because every other soldier in the corridor was practically leaping out of the way of the famous Captain America.

“Don’t spend time worrying about him. It won’t do you any good,” he muttered.

“I’ve thought plenty about it, Captain. I feel absolutely shit about what happened on the mission, I want you to know that. It won’t ever happen again if you let me come back, I swear it,” I promised Steve. I hoped the sincerity in my voice was enough to convince him but he didn’t even glance my way. “I’ve learned my lesson, sir, I-”

“Please just call me Steve,” he interrupted me before coming to a stop and sighing. I couldn’t tell what had upset him, but he gestured for me to duck into a less trafficked hallway to have a quick chat in a lower voice. “Look, you’ve proved that you are a good addition to our team, but you’re still a little rough around the edges. You can work on that before you return to the field, okay?”

“Yes, of course, I’ll do anything,” I agreed with an eager nod.

“Good. Then you’ll understand that the first step to remedying this situation is sorting out the rivalry between you and Sergeant Barnes.” I gulped and lowered my eyes to stare at Steve’s boots instead. He had practically declared it impossible for me to rectify the situation.

“I can’t. He’s made it quite clear that we can’t be friends,” I replied quietly, wishing that there was another way to earn my spot on the team back, and the respect of all of my comrades.

“I know him better than he knows himself. I’m going to give him a push and hopefully that will make him stop being so negative towards you. Don’t take what I say too personally, okay? I just want this conflict gone,” Steve explained and I nodded, interested in knowing what he was going to do. “Friendly rivalries in a team is fine. It encourages friendships and brightens the mood. But the one you and Bucky have is too damaging, to everyone.”

“I understand, Steve.” He gave me a weak smile and then gestured for us to continue our walk down the main corridor. We eventually arrived at a strategy room and Steve’s hand hovered over the door handle.

“Just remember, we’re pushing him, not you,” Steve reminded me. I nodded and he opened the door, revealing a familiar face in his blue sergeant jacket sitting at the table awaiting us.
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A big thanks to my commenters and I'm sorry this update is late. Let me know what you think of this chapter and what might happen next! How do you think Bucky will react to Steve's discipline?