The One Word I Refuse to Say to You

“Would you stop it!” I shouted. Adare gave me a shocked look, drum sticks froze over her drum kit. She had been playing a random beat over and over again, and even though she was amazingly good, I had to act annoyed. It was my job, I was the crab ass of the group. Suddenly she smiled brightly.

“Well I can always play this…” she began playing and Jonathan, our bass, choked on the drink he was taking as he recognized the unmistakable beat of ‘ you are my sunshine’. I scowled at her, and she burst into a fit of laughter. She was really annoying. How could someone dressed in so much black be so damn happy!? It wasn’t natural!

“Zanny, stop it. She’s good, and you know it.” Paul, our lead guitarist said, and only smiled at me brightly when I scowled. Two days ago and that would have made him at least flinch, but no, with misses fucking sunshine around everyone was happy. I scowled at her messy ponytail of Black hair as she bent over the drums, back to her old rhythm. Couldn’t she at least comb it? It doesn’t even look like she got dressed this morning! God!

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just go through the song again, ok?” I muttered. Everyone groaned, and Paul set his guitar into it’s case. “No. we’re done. We haven’t taken our newest band member out yet! We need to do that!” Everyone smiled brightly at Adare, who actually looked uncomfortable.

“I, er, kinda already had plans with some people…” she finally mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Awe, no, too bad.” I said dryly. Jonathan shot me a look that said shut it.

“Well invite them along! We can go to a bar or something!” Adare sighed. “They’re not old enough for a bar quite yet. They’re 7.”

“A 28 year old hanging out with a 7 year old? That’s bad! Pedo!” I cried. Everyone gave me a shushing look.

“Well they’re, er, kind of my kids, so….” she looked down, and under her mop of hair I could see her face was red.

“AWE! You have KIDS!?” Paul squealed like a little girl. Adare looked up, shocked, but nodded.

“But in the interview you said you were single!” Jonathan objected. Adare shrugged. “My brother died when his boys were really young. The mom wanted nothing to do with them. I adopted them. And, just so you’re aware, just because a ladies single doesn’t mean she can’t have kids.” She says. She’s saying this as she’s gathering her things, including a small bag that she puts her drumsticks in and a hat that she attaches to the bag instead of putting it on.

“Well then let’s hang out at your place!” Paul said excitedly. She sighed, pulling her phone out from the bag. “Let me call my house mate and see if it is ok with him.”

Wow, three different things in a few minutes. She’s, she has kids, and a housemate. Was she that poor? Good God. We had hired a poor man to play the drums. We were so fucked.

“Hey, Chrisse? Is the twins there?” a smile touched her lips, and I frowned when I realized I liked it. I shook my head.

“Great. I have some friends who want to hang out tonight, if that’s ok.” There was excited chatter on the other side of the phone, and she laughed.

“Alright. Good.” she hung up, stood, and stretched. Her legs where long, and her shirt rode up. I grimaced. God, her clothes didn’t even fit!

“Here’s the address, bring a swimsuit because I promised the twins we could go swimming tonight.” Everyone talked excitedly, even Andy, our back up singer/guitarist. He was usually quiet. Adare put her address on a piece of paper, and I glanced down at it. I had a good memory, and was shocked when I saw the address.

“That’s a freaking mansion!” I cried. she smiled slightly. “It’s slightly bigger than the normal house, yes.” Slightly bigger!? That thing was a fortress!

“Oh, at the gate tell the man that Adare Gruesome sent you, not Adare Cole. It’s just to make sure that no creepers get in.” the band nodded and we moved outside, where everyone froze. We had heard her come up, but didn’t think it was in this.

A black GT Convertible sat in Jonathans driveway, blocking in everyone else because she had been slightly late. The top was down and the sound system was very clearly off the charts. she slid in and motioned to the passenger seat.

“Someone can ride with me and I can drop them off. I know you guys hitch rides together.” All eyes turned to me. I was the only one without a car today. Fuck.

“Paul can-“

“Get in, Zanny. I’m going to my house and straight to hers.” I muttered, but slid in. she handed me a remote type thing.

“The hell is this.” I said bluntly. She smirked slightly, moving her hair back behind her ears so that you could actually see her face. To my shock she was actually, sort of, good looking.

I smacked myself mentally as she answered. “It’s the stereo remote. There’s five CD’s in there, so go ahead. In the glove compartment there is ten more.” I flipped through the music after I gave her directions to my house, about ten minutes away. She parked the car and stayed put as I climbed the steps. I went in and Harry looked up, smiling.

“Hey there, brother of mine. Where are you going?”

“The new drummer invited the whole band over to go swimming. So I guess you could say that I got suckered into it.” He frowned slightly as I went towards my room. He followed.

“How are you going to swim?”

“With my arms and legs?” I said, confused. He grabbed my wrist and I flinched. Oh. Right.

“ I leave my jewelry in all the time.” I did, too. I had an eyebrow piercing I never took out more then to change it, and I had a few rings I wear too. I also had a pair of diamonds as hip piercings. I had a bunch of jelly bracelets and bands that were crazy hard to get off that I just left on all the time.

He nodded as I grabbed a pair of red swimming trunks and a towel. He waved as I walked out and I waved back out of habit before getting in.

“Who is he?” Adare asked as we pulled out. I shot him a scowl.

“My brother.” she nodded at my sharp tone like it didn’t bother her at all. It was another ten minutes the opposite direction to her house, and it was silent through all of them, her stereo humming softly. We finally came around a corner and saw a massive gate, surrounded by a large wall, where she was immediately let in without her having to do anything but slow down slightly. Paul and Jonathan was sitting on the steps, and a few moments after I got out of the gorgeous car Andy came riding up to the gate. We waited for him and then Adare went to the door, grinning. She threw it open.

“welcome to my home. CHRIS! AXEL! ALEX! Get your butts down here now!” she shouted at the end as we walked into a marble entrance that had my mouth dropping open. Two stair cases ran up the sides, to the second story where a landing was. A large room was on either side of us, one looked like a dinning room the other a kitchen.

I heard pounding feet, and then a guy that could have been Adare’s twin was in the foyer, smiling wildly.

“Hey! I’m Chris, call me Chrissie though. I’m Adare’s little brother, I’m 16. I’m glad to meet you all.” He Gave Adare a wide eyed look suddenly. “I tried to cook.” Adare got a horrified look on her face.

“How much is it going to cost me?” before the guy could reply a chorus of giggles came from the stairs. We all turned, and I swear I was looking at two little fallen angels.

The boys were identical in looks, but that’s it. But they were beautiful little boys, even at age seven. They had Adare’s black hair, one had it spiked and one had it in a Mohawk. The one who had it spiked had glasses, enhancing his Bright blue eyes, also like Adare’s. The others eyes were dancing, but the same color. They both had on black jeans that where ripped and a black tee that had misfits on it. They had black vans on, and a wicked smile that was going to be the death of girls later on in life.

“ADDY!” they both screamed, racing down the stairs. They jumped in sync, and Adare had them both wrapped in a monsterous hug. She put them down and grinned.

“You two let Uncle Chris cook?” they gave each other horrified looks, making everyone laugh. It was like the little boys just realized we were there. The one with the Mohawk hid behind Adare immediately, but the one with glasses gasped and ran at Paul.

“I love your hair! How’d you get it like that!” he exclaimed. Paul looked slightly alarmed when the kid was suddenly tugging his hand until he knelt and the kid had his hands running through his streaked hair. It was dyed blonde, but had black, red, blue, and green streaks through it.

“Lots of patience, Axel, something you don’t have.” Adare said. The boy just grinned, going back to Adare’s side. Adare pulled the other one up to her side and hugged them both close as she made introductions.

“Everyone, these are my boys. Axel is the one who attacked Paul. Alex is the quiet one. For now. Once he gets to know you he won’t be this way.” The little boys face went red, and it was adorable. I heard Paul awe quietly behind me and I felt myself smile.

“Axel, Alex, this is my new band. Paul, the one you like, Axel, is our lead guitarist. Jonathan is our bass. He’s the one with the red hair. Andy is back up singer and guitarist, he is the one that’s the shortest. And youngest I do believe, right?” she waited for Andy to blush and nod before he looked at me.

“And then the lead singer is Zanny.” No explination, no added comment. Thanks a lot.

haven’t you been doing the same to her? my traitor thoughts said. I shrugged them off as Adare pointed up.

“Pizza is on its way. Bathrooms are this way.” She motioned us up the stairs as she said this, and we all headed up, expecting her to follow. we turned at the top and we all paused when she wasn’t there. We looked down to see her struggling with the boys, who had sat on her feet and wrapped themselves around her legs. We all laughed at her as she finally made up the stairs.

“Get off of me in three or I’m taking your Black veil bride CD’s away for a week.” The boys gasped and scrambled up, disappearing into two doors. We all gave her shocked looks.

“They love the guitar rifts. Axel plays the guitar, piano, and Drums already. Alex is in love with singing and drums though.”

“Just like you addy!” a voice called, making us give her a look.

“Your boys are something else.” Paul said. she just shrugged.

“Bathroom in here,” she opened each door as we went down the hall, “here, here, and then that one down at the end of the hall is mine but someone can use the bathroom.”

I slid into the first one and found a powder room type bathroom. It was all black and it was cool. I changed into the trunks and after hesitating left my shirt and shoes off, walking out. The floor was freezing! There was a rug running down the middle of the hallway so I jumped on it and stayed there until someone else came out. The first out was Jonathan. He grinned at me.

“Man, the kids bathroom is awesome! Come look!” I followed him to a blood red room with a bunch of murals of bands on it. There was Black veil brides, my chemical romance, green day, and so many others. I recognized most of them.

“This is way cool. I have a feeling these kids are going to be amazing.” Jonathan exclaimed. I turned to leave and saw one of the twins in the doorway, black swimming trunks on, watching us. The hair was wet and the gel was gone, but they didn’t have glasses so I guessed.

“Hey Alex.” He turned his head to the side and watched me a moment.

“You don’t like addy, so I don’t like you.” With that he turned and walked off. I stared after him, shocked, and Jonathan was laughing hysterically behind me. Paul and Adare’s heads came around the doorframe.

“What is it? WOW! Love the room!” he came in and I immediately became aware of the fact that I was now in the room with two very fit, very tan, very attractive males, and I was…. Well, not.

“Alex came in and told Zanny that since he didn’t like Adare he wasn’t going to like him!” Jonathan managed. Paul chuckled, and Adare groaned.

“I’m sorry. He is a bit sensitive at times about me. I’ll talk to him about it later.” she turned to leave and I saw the ink on her back. Before I could help it I called “Wait!”

she froze, and I walked into the hallway.

For a moment I forgot I had called her to see her tat. I couldn’t even be mad at myself for admiring her, because anyone would. Her hips were snug in black trunks, her waist a bit bigger then what was ‘average’ ofthe time, Her back was tan and her shoulders curved amazingly. I focused on the ink again and blinked, going to see it. it started just below her shoulder blades and went all the way across her back. her tops strings covered a line of it, but you could still make out what it said.it lined up with her spine, except the last two lines that rested in the small fo her back.

I Should have hugged you tighter
Sang to you longer
Admired you more
I should have said I love you more often
And fought with you less
Helped you when you asked
Carried more of your burdens
Opened my door to you more
Listened to your troubles
Even just stopped to say hi
Maybe then I wouldn’t have had to say goodbye.
R.I.P Isaiah

“who is Isaiah?” Paul asked. Adare looked back at us, a hurt look in her eyes.

“The twin’s Father.” she said softly, then walked over to the door that Andy had disappeared into. She banged loudly with her fist.

“Let’s go slow poke! Are you this slow when you’re with your girlfriend!?” the boys burst into laughter, and the moment was forgotten.