Falling in the Black

Raylee and Barnes didn’t bother talking the rest of the night after what she had said to him. The silent treatment was back to its full effect and once she couldn’t handle just sitting there in silence staring at him anymore so she laid across the couch and fell asleep. Knowing that he wasn’t going to sleep any time soon she didn’t offer to pull out the sleeper that would have had enough room for the both of them. Raylee wasn’t even sure if she wanted him in the bed next to her anyways. Sometime during the middle of the night Raylee heard groans and her eyes quickly opened. She saw him sitting on the floor with his back against the wall but his eyes were closed and he seemed to be having some kind of bad dream.

Quietly sliding out off the couch she slowly walked over to him and squatted down next to him. Just as she was about to touch his shoulder to wake him things moved so quick. Raylee didn’t have enough time to react to his movement and she was suddenly laying on the ground fighting to breathe. Barnes who was leaning over her looking down had his human hand wrapped tightly around her throat and was squeezing. Raylee was trying to get him off her as she kicked at his body and clawed at his arm. His eyes had seemed so empty and distant like he wasn’t even in the same room as her. Raylee didn’t know if he was Barnes the ally she thought she gained or the Winter Soldier that wanted her dead.

The only thing she did know was that she wasn’t going to last much longer to know if he didn’t snap out of whatever was going on in his head. Just as she was about to give up and succumb to her fate his hand released her and he quickly stood up and backed away. He stood there watching as she gasped for air to enter her deprived lungs again. He had no idea what had gotten into him and when his mind had cleared he saw her terrified eyes looking up at him. Raylee rolled to her side and began coughing hard as she tried to breathe normal again. The rush of air into her lungs hurt just as much as it did leaving.

When she saw him move towards her Raylee quickly scooted herself across the floor away from him out of fear he was going to hurt her again. Barnes stopped moving and put his hands up to show he wasn’t trying anything. She sat there holding her throat breathing heavily still as he slowly walked to the bottle of water he had on the table and picked it up then slowly walked closer to her and held the bottle out for her.

Raylee reached out with a shaky hand and once she had a grip on the bottle he quickly let it go and backed away giving her some space hoping she would relax at least a little. Her heart was racing and her body was shaking uncontrollably, the look he had scared her more right now than it did when he attacked her a year ago. He was more mentally unstable than she had realized and now she was regretting the fact that she didn’t run from him when she had the chance. Raylee glanced up at the door that was now just a few feet from her and slowly looked back at Barnes wondering if he would chase her out the door if she tried to run from him.

“It’s not safe.” He said knowing what was going through her mind when she looked at the door.

“Being in here with you is?” she asked in a low raspy voice and for the first time she saw an emotion come to his face. He looked upset and she got confused. “You just tried to kill me.”

“I was…” he trailed off not being sure how to explain what had happened. “I felt it, it felt so real… all the pain.” He said in broken sentences as he shook his head and she was confused by what he was trying to say to her. “I heard the movement and thought…”

“You thought I was going to hurt you.” Raylee said and he just shrugged his shoulders. “What felt real, what were you dreaming about?”

“The vault.” He said and her eyes went wide. “They used that machine on me, they took my memories from me with it. I can’t explain how it worked or the pain it caused. Raylee I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She nodded her head but didn’t ask or say anything else to him. He gave one slight nod as he sat against the wall on the other side of the room from her. They left the space of the entire studio apartment between them, he did it so she would feel safe and she did it out of fear. Whenever she would start to doze off Raylee would quickly sit up and he felt bad she was afraid to fall asleep again. He knew what it was like not feeling safe and he didn’t want her to feel that way. After about three hours of watching her fight her sleep he stood up on his feet grabbed the blanket and walked over dropping it on her.

“Get some sleep.” He said walking back to the other side and sat down.

Raylee still tried to stay awake but ended up giving in to her heavy eyelids and fell asleep again. The next time she was woken up he was squatted down in front of her with his hand over her mouth causing her to let out a muffled scream. He signaled for her to stay quiet as he pointed at the door that was just a few feet from where they were. Raylee nodded her head and he moved his hand then pulled the gun out of his holster and handed it to her. He showed her his own gun just a there was a knock at the door and she jumped, the neighbor’s voice was the next thing they both heard.

“Ms. Barnes are you in there?” the guy asked and Barnes looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she just shrugged at him as she realized she didn’t tell him that the studio was under the name Stephanie Barnes.

When she didn’t answer a second voice was heard. “I swear I heard some noise in there last night… we should call the police, it sounded like someone was struggling in there.”

The both of them quickly stood up, Raylee signaled for him to stay quiet and to hide behind the door as she placed the gun in the back of her pants waistband. He shook his head no while glaring at her but she ignored him causing him to quickly move. “Hey neighbor.” Raylee said in a cheerful voice as she opened the door.

“The apartment had been empty for so long I didn’t realize you were back.” He said smiling at her.

“I got back into town last night.” She said smiling at him.

“I told you I heard something in there last night.” The other guy said to his friend. “With all that crap going on we have to be careful.”

“I must have been louder than I thought, I’m sorry.” Raylee said with a small smile.

“Oh that’s no problem.” The guy said to her.

The two men start rambling about the other just moving in and some other stuff she wasn’t paying attention to because she could feel Barnes putting pressure on the door to get her to close it. She tried to push it back towards him but his strength was too much for her so she had to find a way out of their rambling conversation before Barnes snapped her door in half. Raylee blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m sorry gentlemen but I’m running late.” She said glancing over her shoulder at the clock then back at them. “I was supposed to meet my boyfriend twenty minutes ago and I over slept.”

“Oh… you have a boyfriend.” One of them said.

“Yeah, I really should get going because he gets extremely concern if I’m late.”

“Ok… it was nice seeing you again Ms. Barnes.” He said sticking his hand out to her as his eyes trailed down to her neck for a moment then back to her eyes. “I never did get your first name.”

The pressure on the door began to become too much for her to handle. “It’s Stephanie… I really got to go.” She said shaking his hand quickly and stepped back as Barnes closed the door a little more roughly than he had intend. “What is your problem?” she growled at him in a low voice.

Barnes had been watching the guy through the small opening behind the door, he brought his hand up to slip her hair over her shoulder and she flinched from the action. He acted as if he didn’t notice and side stepped so she could look in the mirror at the bruising he had left there from when he choked her. Raylee stood there looking at her reflection and could see a very defined handprint bruise around her neck. She brought her own hand up and traced the large bruise in shock, she knew the pressure he used last night was strong but she didn’t expect for it to bruise like that. He himself didn’t notice the bruise until it was too late and she had the door open.

“We need to get out of here for a while and monitor the place.” He said walking away from her and she turned to look at him in shock. “Do you have some kind of safe or somewhere for the weapons that no one would find?”

“I actually have a spot to hide them but why are we leaving and leaving unarmed?”

“We need to see if your damn neighbors call the police and we won’t be completely unarmed he said sheathing two knives a placing them to the side.

Raylee didn’t argue with him she just nodded and walked to the kitchen. He followed behind her and watched as she squatted down and tapped a board on the floor causing it to slide out. When his eyes landed on the ammo and few guns in there he glared at her. “It’s a personal stash and I wasn’t going to give you every secret I had until I knew I had no choice.” She said looking up at him.

Barnes shook his head and walked over to the weapons and began handing them to her as she placed them in the hidden compartment then she pulled out some cash she had in there. They both took turns taking a shower and when he came out dressed like he was going for a mission Raylee shook her head at him. She thanked god that she had decided to keep some men clothes on hand just in case Clint needed a place to lay low, so she pulled the jeans out and handed them to him hoping they fit. Not bothering to fight he changed again and she handed him a gray button up to go over the black shirt he already had on.

Raylee had on a simple outfit with a scarf wrapped around her neck to cover the bruise. They both slid on coats and she handed him another hat to put on. When they left the apartment Barnes slid his hands into the coat pockets to keep his metal hand out of sight. There was a café not far from the apartment so they walked to it and sat down at one of the outdoor tables.

Barnes sat facing the apartment and Raylee faced the opposite way so they could keep their eyes on everything around them. Neither of them spoke other than when they ordered their drinks. After sitting there for a couple of hours Raylee convinced him that they need to get some food for the apartment if they had planned on being there any longer. While at the store Raylee picked up a brace for her knee then they finally went back to the apartment.

Over the next few days Raylee and Barnes had done basically the same thing and it had looked like they were just about clear to move on. The both of them began to feel that they were getting way too comfortable and needed to move on before they let their guard down. In the morning after they sat at the café again for a little while he decided to venture a little further away to check things out. Raylee was surprised when they ended up in the center of DC, she had expected them to stay away from there and completely off the grid.

As they walked around he spotted the banner about the Captain America exhibit, he nudged her lightly with his elbow and nodded towards it. “You want to go in the Smithsonian?” she questioned sounding a bit shock and he nodded. “Do you have any idea how many cameras are in there? We could easily be spotted in there if anyone gets a hold of the video feed.”

“I have to see something.” He said walking towards it and she quickly followed him.

They both knew he wouldn’t get past the metal detector at the door with his arm so she caused a small commotion near the guards and he slipped in behind them. She apologized a few times before paying for herself and met up with him further inside. They walked towards the exhibit and she noticed him tense up a little. She had done this with Steve when he wanted to come there and the memories of his stories started to come back to her. At first Steve was quiet and stood there silently reading until she got him to open up to her, the memory brought a small smile to her face. Raylee thought it was best to start in the theater room knowing it explained more but he had stopped walking.

She turned to see what he was looking at and her eyes went wide when she saw his face on the memorial he was standing in front of. That’s when she glanced around the area they were in a noticed his picture was on almost everything standing right next to Steve. She knew he had looked familiar when she saw his whole face but couldn’t figure out why and now she knew why, she had seen his face here while with Steve. The Winter Soldier was James Buchanan Barnes… Bucky, Steve’s best friend that he thought he lost in the war all those years ago. Things began to make sense to her the more she thought about it, Steve had told her that Hydra had experimented on him. The ghost stories for the last fifty years where about a man that didn’t seem to age. His strength was like Steve’s, his ability to heal quickly, not needing much sleep and his speed was all like Steve.

Raylee was at a loss for words for a moment, it was so hard to believe but there was no denying it. “You knew.” She said in a low voice and he slowly turned his head to look at her. “You knew who you were and you didn’t tell me.”

Raylee didn’t give him a chance to respond she turned away from him and walked to the theater where she sat by herself in the back. The video was playing but she didn’t pay any attention to it this time around. She was mad at herself for not realizing who he was especially after hearing all the stories Steve told her about Bucky. She was trained to pay attention to all details and she let the most important thing slip pass her like it didn’t matter. When she saw him enter the theater and glance around she got up to leave but he quickly stepped in front of her stopping her from leaving.

“I didn’t know.” He said in a low voice as he looked down at her. “The guy on the helicarrier… Captain whatever said something and I didn’t know if it was true. I had to see it for myself.”

“You’re Bucky Barnes and you knew because you told me to call you Barnes.” She growled at him as people started come in to see the next showing. “When I asked why you chose that name you lied to me.”

Bucky glanced around and pulled his hat lower as he nudged Raylee back onto the bench and he sat down next to her. When she tried to get up he clamped his metal hand down on her thigh keeping her there. “I’m not that guy anymore… he died in nineteen forty five.” He whispered to her as he kept his eyes on the screen.

His metal hand stood on her thigh keeping her in place as he silently watched the video. Raylee held onto the wrist of the metal hand knowing he couldn’t even feel it. When she glanced over to her right she saw a kid sitting there with his eyes glue to the hand on her thigh so she adjusted her body to cover it and Bucky glanced at her. Raylee gave a slight nod towards the shock kid and he tensed causing her to tense when his metal hand flexed on her thigh.

“You break my leg I will scream.” She growled in a low whisper and his hand instantly released her.

“We should leave.” He whispered back and she nodded at him as they both stood up and he quickly put his hand back in the pocket to hide it again.

The kid watched as they walked away and Raylee smiled softly at him causing him to quickly look away. Raylee followed Bucky out of the Smithsonian but when they exited the building she went the opposite way then he did. It took him a few moments to realize she wasn’t next to him, Bucky turned around only to see her quickly turning the corner. Shaking his head he decided to cut her off from another direction.

Raylee walked as quick as her legs could take her without actually running and bringing attention to herself. Once she was around the corner she glanced back to see if he was following her or not and was relieved that he wasn’t there. She had to find a way to get in touch with Steve but first she needed find out if he was alive. Raylee headed for the library knowing there would be a computer there that she could use. She did know one person that would probably help her and Tony happened to be her only hope right now. When she saw that she wasn’t very far from the building Raylee was suddenly yanked between two buildings and dragged down out of view of the street.

When he stopped he pushed her against the wall. “What the hell are you doing?” Bucky growled at her.

Raylee glanced around herself but with the shade of the buildings it was pretty dark. Not bothering to answer him Raylee tried to lift her leg in hopes of kneeing him but his metal hand caught her leg and held it up leaving her helpless. She quickly grabbed his other arm to steady herself from falling, he didn’t pull it away and she was surprisingly grateful.

“Where were you headed?” he asked as he gave her leg a squeeze causing her to wince.

“The library.” She snapped at him as she tried to pull her leg away from him.

“For what?”

“To find out if you killed Steve.”

“The last time I saw your friend he was alive.” He said in a calmer voice and watched as she showed signs of relief. “I pulled him to safety right before I ran into you.”

“Why?” she asked in a shock voice.

“We need to go.” Bucky said as he glanced around to see a man watching them from the sidewalk.

His body tensed and slowly let her leg go getting ready to fight if he needed to. Raylee could tell the man wasn’t an agent but was just probably a citizen concerned with the position they were in. Not wanting Bucky to kill an innocent man she had to think quickly. Taking one more glance at the man that was watching them she lifted herself up on her toes and prayed Bucky didn’t kill her for doing this. She took a hold of his face with both of her hands. When he looked at her surprised Raylee crashed her lips into his, she knew the man would get uncomfortable and leave. Both of Bucky’s fists slammed into the wall behind her, the metal one making a crunching sound upon contact.