Falling in the Black

When Raylee’s lips made contact with Bucky’s something felt so right about it, the feel of his growing beard under her hands… the surprisingly softness of his lips. It almost felt like he started to kiss her back but he suddenly pulled away like a light bulb went off in his head. He glanced back towards where the man had been but he was gone already. Bucky looked back at her as he pushed off the wall putting space between them. The shock was still there but she could see the anger creeping into his face. Raylee’s heart began to race and she was now beginning to regret her move and almost wished she let him kill the nosy man.

“Don’t ever do that again!” he snapped at her.

“I did it to keep you from killing an innocent man.” She said shaking her head at him. “Unlike you I actually have a conscious about the things I do.”

“Oh do you?” he asked sarcastically and the coldness in his voice scared her. “We’re gonna have to see about that.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“How many kills do you have?” he snapped at her.

“What does that have to do with this?” she asked sounding confused.

“How many?” he asked again but more sternly this time.

“Ten mission kills, I don’t count the HYDRA kills because they tried to kill me.”

“Of the ten how many did your precious conscious keep you up over?”

“One.” Raylee said… it could have possibly not have been her kill but Patrick’s death did hurt and it was her fault.

“You are no different than I am.” He snapped at her. “You may have been called an agent or a spy but you were an assassin for SHIELD.”

Bucky quickly turned away from her and headed towards the street again. The look in his eyes and the coldness of his voice made her realize that Bucky had given into the Winter Soldier persona again. The only ally she had left was gone and her enemy was back in his place. Raylee quickly ran after him hoping to keep him from doing anything stupid. When she caught up to him she grabbed his arm and he stopped moving, glaring at her over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“I think it’s time we go our own way.” He snapped at her as he yanked his arm away.

“I can’t let you leave like this.” She said shaking her head.

“You get in my way and I will kill you.”

“Bucky…” that was all she got out when he slammed her against the wall by her throat, Raylee gasped in shock as she grabbed his wrist.

“I told you I am not him.” He growled at her. “Do not call me that!”

Raylee could feel the strength in his arm but he was only applying enough pressure to keep her from moving. “Fine… you can get your things and leave… Winter Soldier.”

Bucky nodded his head and stepped back from her letting his hand drop to his side. Neither of them said a word to each other as they went back to the apartment. Once they were back at the apartment Raylee stood by the kitchen counter watching as he packed his things. When he was just about done Raylee walked over to the spot they had the weapons hidden and opened it up. She pulled out all the guns he had and placed them on the counter along with half the ammo that was in there. Bucky walked over to the guns and began arming himself when he was done he walked to the door and turned to look at her one last time before walking out.

Raylee stood there looking around the apartment that now felt too big for her even though it was just a studio. The place wasn’t burned yet so she knew she could stay at least a few more days before moving on. After taking a few slow deep breaths Raylee leaned back down and pulled out the transmitter she had that would signal her location to Clint and Natasha. Looking down at the on button she wasn’t sure if they would understand what she had done or why she did it. Feeling like she had already proven to Clint about her not deserving to be an agent she placed it down on the counter and walked away.

Raylee went to sleep extra early that night resulting in her being awake well before the sun was even up. She sat there staring at the transmitter for a few hours before getting up and deciding to get out for a while. Raylee walked down to the café she had frequent with Bucky and sat down at their usual table. As she sat there she caught herself wondering if he was ok and if he found shelter for the night. That’s when reality hit her, she was alone. He may have been the enemy at one point but for their short time together he was someone she could rely on.

Raylee knew she slipped into the cracks and was falling into the black, the betrayal to SHIELD by helping the Winter Soldier get away was something they would never forgive. She had aided in the hunt for Natasha and Steve when she was told they had turned on SHIELD, Raylee was pretty sure neither of them wanted anything to do with her. Clint would probably side with them considering they never spoke again since she came to DC and she helped the man that killed Fury. With Fury being dead there went any hope in getting anyone to understand. He would have been the only one that would have helped her. She thought about Tony again but was scared to find out if her closest friend would turn on her like the rest.

Raylee was brought from her thoughts when the waitress spoke to her. “Will your boyfriend be joining you this morning?” she asked with a smile on her face.

Raylee looked up at her and until that moment it had never dawned on her what everyone else had thought when the two of them came there every morning. “No… I’ll just have one coffee.” She said smiling back at her. Raylee sat there drinking her coffee slowly, she tried to keep her mind set on watching her surroundings but it kept trailing off to Bucky.

Every mile Bucky put between him and Raylee had his stomach in knots, something felt wrong about leaving her alone. Another part of him was forcing distance between them because he didn’t like the way he felt when he was near her. He felt the need to protect her but at the same time he felt like she was a threat to him. The double edge sword he felt like he was teetering on was going to cut him no matter which way he fell. Bucky was more lost and confused now than he was fighting the man that claimed to be his best friend. He was beginning to feel the conscious Raylee said he didn’t have and Bucky didn’t like it.

It had been a couple of weeks since Bucky and Raylee parted ways but she never left the apartment. No one had showed up there looking for her and she had kept a watchful eye on things around DC. To the best of her knowledge SHIELD no longer existed but she also knew that the government was trying to lure out all agents they could out of hiding. There was no mention of her in any of the reports she read so she decided to just stay put and lay low. The only thing that worried her was that HYDRA was still running at full force.

Once Raylee was done with her usual morning coffee she opted to just go back home instead of taking the usual scout around the area. Her life had almost felt normal and she was beginning to let her guard down. Raylee walked into her apartment and when she closed the door her eyes went wide as she felt a large boot kick her in the center of her gut causing her to fly backwards to the ground. Just as the man advanced on her Raylee quickly kicked both her legs up catching him in the chest. She pulled her gun out and was about to aim and shoot but it was kicked from her hand. That’s when she realized he wasn’t alone in the apartment, the second guy went to kick her head but she quickly rolled away from him.

Jumping to her feet to give herself a fighting chance Raylee began fighting with the second guy. The hits she was taking were painful body shots but she knew she couldn’t give up. She had no idea who they were or why they were after her but she wasn’t going to make it easy for them. Raylee was doing her best at fighting both men off but one grabbed and threw her into the mirror by the door causing the glass to shatter all around her some cutting her in the process. As she laid there breathing through the pain she felt one of the shards that was embedded into her side. One of the men advanced towards her lifting her off the ground by her hair with his gun drawn in the other hand. Raylee held onto his wrist with both her hands hoping to relieve some of the pressure from the hair pulling as she teetered on her toes.

The man that wasn’t holding her finally spoke. “Cronan, O’Dell wants her alive.” He said in a very thick Irish accent.

“He never said in one piece.” Cronan said smirking at her. “The little bitch needs to learn her lesson.”

“I will not go back to Ireland alive.” Raylee said trying to free herself as they both laughed at her.

“You have no choice.” The other guy said smacking her hard. “Tie her up then sedate her.”

“My pleasure.” Cronan said as he manhandled her.

Cronan threw her into the counter top banging her head off it and held her down just as a shot rang out hitting the other guy. Cronan quickly lifted Raylee up and shielded his body with hers as he squatted slightly to make sure there wasn’t a clean shot of himself. Raylee was just as surprised as Cronan was, she had no idea who killed the other guy and she was scared whoever it was had no problem killing her either. Raylee noticed the shot came through the wall that was adjoined to the bathroom when she looked around. Cronan noticed the same thing and turned to face in that direction with Raylee between him and the shooter.

“Who is here?” he snapped squeezing his arm tighter around her throat.

“I don’t know.” Raylee choked out as she tried to pull his arm away so she could breathe.

“You don’t come out I will kill her.” He yelled towards the bathroom. Raylee was even more shocked when she watched Bucky come out slowly with a gun raised and aimed at Cronan, he had his mask and goggles covering his face and his coat covered the metal arm with a glove over his hand. “I don’t know who you are but Phillip O’Dell wants her alive and I’m not leaving here without her.”

“No one said you were leaving.” Bucky said in a calm but cold voice that came out slightly muffled.

“Lower your gun or I will kill her.” He said squeezing her throat to show he was serious and she began gasping for air.

Bucky slowly lower the gun and when Cronan fire a shot at Bucky his eyes went wide when Bucky deflected the bullet with his arm and quickly fired a shot back hitting the guy dead center of the forehead. The guy fell back pulling Raylee down with him. She began coughing for air when Bucky quickly moved to her and pulled her away from the dead body. Not realizing what she was doing Raylee clung to him as she tried to breathe normal again and he reached up to remove the goggles and mask.

“Are you ok?” he asked looking down at her and she shook her head no. “What’s wrong?”

“My side.” She said pulling away from him.

“Were you shot?” Bucky asked as he looked her up and down and that’s when he noticed a nice size chunk of glass stuck in her side, it wasn’t deep enough to be big problem but it was big enough to cause a problem if it wasn’t taken out. He glanced around the room and noticed the mirror broke and blood around the area also. “Raylee this is going to hurt.”

“What is?” she asked looking up at him but he didn’t say anything as he quickly held her still and yanked the glass out.

She screamed causing him to pull her back against him then he covered her mouth. “We need to leave.” He said glancing down at her and she nodded at him as she was breathing heavily. “Get some clothes and anything else you need that can fit in one bag, I will get the weapons.”
Raylee didn’t question him even though about hundred questions were running through her mind. When she got done he was already standing near the bathroom. Raylee glanced over to where she had the transmitter sitting on the counter but it was gone. She looked back at him and saw the transmitter in his metal hand.

“Is this needed?” he asked and without hesitation she shook her head no and he smashed it with one squeeze. “Let’s go.”

“Why through the bathroom?”

“I’m sure someone heard the shots and the battle you had in here.” When she looked out the open window he grabbed the bag she had and tossed it over to the roof top that was just a tad bit lower then where they stood. “Can you make that jump?”

“Yeah.” She said climbing out the window and stepped onto the tiny ledge hoping to have some kind of leverage to leap across.

Raylee sucked in a deep breath and leapt over to the other roof just barely making it as she rolled. Raylee screamed in pain as she landed on her arm then her back. Before she was even able to climb to her feet he landed with a roll and was quickly back on his feet next to her. Knowing she wasn’t going to be able to make the next jump he opted to go down through the building. They ran through the alley ways until he came across a parking lot where he stole a car to get them further away.

Bucky pulled into the abandon warehouse he had been using for the last few days. He jumped out the car and signaled for her to drive it in when he opened the large door. Raylee climbed over to the driver seat and did what he said and pulled in enough so he could close it again. When she got out the car he noticed the blood that was soaking her shirt in several spots.

“You’re still bleeding.” He said walking towards her.

“I grabbed a first aid kit but I can’t do this all on my own.” She said looking at him and he nodded. “I could stitch and bandage the larger wound but getting the glass out of my arm and back isn’t going to be easy for me.

“I got it.” He said holding his hand out to her.

Raylee placed the bag down on the hood of the car and pulled out the kit then handed it to him. She then turned away and slowly removed her shirt using it to cover her chest. He sucked in a deep breath and looked down to open the kit knowing he needed to avert his eyes to something other than her bare skin. After a couple of more deep breaths he guided Raylee over to sit down as he squatted down behind her. He had noticed a few smaller shards of glass in her back so he decided to remove them first. She did her best at staying still and not crying out.

When all the glass was out of her back and arm she stood up and turned to face him giving him a better view of the wound on her side. The first thing he noticed besides the blood was an older scar that was about five inches higher. From the looks of it he knew it was a rather large knife that left that kind of scar behind. He quickly stitched and covered the much smaller wound then looked up to see her looking down at him.

“How did you know I was in trouble?” she asked softly.

“I didn’t.” he said shaking his head as he stood up and stepped back a few feet. “I needed to check and see if you moved on yet. When I went to the apartment I heard the fighting so I went back out and came in through the bathroom window. The mirror you had hanging near that door made seeing into the room much easier for me.”

“I had to make sure I could see everything no matter where I was standing.” Raylee said softly. “That was the reason for all the mirrors.”

“When the guy came into view I knew I had the shot so I took it but the other guy moved too quick and my second shot would have hit you if I didn’t hesitate.”

“I thought you were gone.”

“I was but what I want to know is why you were still there?” he asked and she shrugged her shoulders. “Why the hell didn’t you leave? I should have found that place empty.”

“I had nowhere to go and I thought that because it had been so long and no one was looking for me, it was safe.”

“You’re smarter than that you should have left.” He said shaking his head.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Neither of them realized as they spoke they were slowly gravitating towards each other. Raylee’s heart rate picked up when she did finally noticed how close he was. Gripping the shirt to her chest just a bit tighter when he took a couple more steps closer, leaving about a foot between them. Bucky looked down at her as he took slow even breaths not showing how she made him feel inside.

“You said someone else did this.” He said as he reached up towards her face tracing his own finger across the scar and felt a small shiver run through her as she nodded at him. “Was it the same person that did this?” he asked as his hand dropped down and traced the scar that Clint left behind when he stabbed her.

“Yes.” She said keeping her eyes locked on his blue eyes.

“Is this person dead?”

“It’s complicated.”

“No it’s not… is the person dead or not?” he asked and Raylee broke eye contact with him when she turned her head away. Bucky didn’t want to lose the contact with her so he used his metal hand to turn her face back. “Why is this person still alive?”

“Because it was one of my friends.” Raylee said trying to turn away but he wouldn’t let her. “I couldn’t kill him. He was under some kind of mind control and I didn’t want to hurt him.” He shook his head at her and she quickly got mad. “I know it wasn’t smart and I didn’t do what I was trained to do… I was pathetic and weak and my precious conscious got in the way.” She snapped at him as she smacked his hand away from her side and grabbed onto the metal wrist.

Neither of them realized she had dropped the shirt and now stood there in just her bra and jeans. “I didn’t say that.” He snapped at her as he yanked his wrist from her hold. “I could have killed Steve, I could have let him drown when he fell but I didn’t. That doesn’t make me pathetic and weak.”
Just as she was about to open her mouth and say something he crashed his lips into hers. Raylee froze for a moment at the contact but then her hormones took over as she kissed him back. Bucky pulled her body against his as the kiss heated up. Raylee wrapped her arms around his neck and his hands trailed down her body, the cold metal of his left hand and the warmth of his right hand both leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. He lifted her off her feet and Raylee wrapped her legs around his waist.

This was a feeling he has not had for as long as he could remember and controlling himself was beginning to become too hard. The feel of her soft lips against his, the feel of her body tight against his own was driving him wild. He walked himself forward until her back slammed against the wall with a bit more force then he had intended. Raylee winced from the contact but didn’t want to stop, she kissed him back even harder. Having the support from Bucky’s strong arms she loosened her grip around his neck as he broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down along her jaw to her neck. Raylee’s hands slowly slid down his torso as a small moan escaped her lips, her hands came back up his body but this time under his shirt, she wanted to feel his warm skin against her own.

When her right hand made contact with the scarred skin of his left shoulder he quickly pulled their bodies apart as he put her back down on her feet. Raylee looked at him in shock as he turned and walked away leaving her standing there breathing heavily. She watched him in shock as he stopped long enough to put his metal fist through the stolen car’s window. Raylee had no idea what had just happened and why he reacted that way to her if he had kissed her first this time.